Yep, it's true. After 19 months of a long-distance affair, it FINALLY ends!<P>My H moved out of the house 13 mths ago. We are 3 wks away from going before the judge to finalize our divorce (papers are already signed)!<P>He came over to the house last Wed for visitation. D wasn't feeling well, so he just hung around the house. I left the two of them alone, and he came into the kitchen and asked if I was mad at him. I told him, no, that I was trying to stay out of the way so he could play w/ D. He then asked if we could talk.<P>At first, I couldn't imagine what it was he needed to talk about, since the divorce stuff was settled. He told me he was having job trouble- boss problems- maybe losing his job. THEN he told me that it was over w/ OW. <P>I told him I was sorry to hear that. He said that I was always there for him when it really mattered, and that he had lost all of his friends. He said he was very lonely and miserable.<P>Then he said that he thought this was suppose to happen, because it was his turn to hurt, after all the hurt he has caused to everyone. I said that it's never fair that these things happen, but that there is always a reason for all that happens in our lives.<P>He left shortly after that. I walked him to the door. D gave him a squeeze, and I gave him a hug. He burst into tears. I asked if he was ok to drive home, and he said yes.<P>He called me at midnight, saying he couldn't sleep. I recommended some "old wives" remedies for him. He thanked me for being there for him. Said I shouldn't even be nice to him after what he's done to me. I told him that I could be nice to whomever I wanted; that was my choice.<P>He is calling everynight again. Spent last night at the house.<P>He called again tonight, and told me that it was officially over. She dumped him. Apparently she was 'messing' around on him and has a serious drinking problem. He said he felt like the whole world saw this coming. I said, not the whole world ! He said, well you did. I couldn't respond. Didn't want to make any judgements.<P>He said he was lonely again, and he was thankfuly that I talked to him. He is not sleeping at all; only cat-napping during the day. I suggested St.John's Wart, and some other herbal remedies to sleep.<P>Soooooo, I don't know where this is headed; maybe and 11th hr miracle, but I do know that I NEVER thought this affair would end, and it did.<P>Keep holding on everyone; you don't know what tomorrow holds!!<P>God Bless,<P>Cheryl

Wow, Cheryl,<P>And it sounds like you are handling things very well. <P>You must have many conflicting emotions at this stage...

Hi CeeCee -<P>First, I want to say how happy I am that you have started to post again - I missed you!!! Never got to your other thread, so I am putting that here!!<P>Guess this latest goes to show that we should never say NEVER, eh?<P>Keep your head about you.....I know you will!!!!<P>BIG HUGS,<P>Sheba

Wow! I almost can't think of anything to say because of where I am... But reading Sheba's post made me think about never saying never!<P>My heart goes out to all three of you and to what tomorrow holds.

schizzo,<P>Yep, my emotions are all over the place. I have no idea how this will all play out, but I do know that I can handle things now. This has been quite a learning experience for me.<P><BR>Sheba,<P>Hey, nice to hear from you too! I've missed you too, and all my friends here!<BR>Never say never it right. Like I said, I have no idea how this is going to play out....should be quite a ride!<BR>How are things with the WAD??<P>tootrusting,<P>I'm so sorry things are not going well for you. It is such a hell of a time. <BR>Thanks for the good wishes. I don't know what tomorrow will brings, but I do know that God won't lead me down the wrong path.<BR>Hugs and prayers to you.<P>God Bless,<BR>Cheryl

Cheryl,<BR>UNbelievable story!That this would all happen 3 weeks before final appearance befor judge.Thanks for the encouragement!bethn

alone1,<P>Well, there is still a real possibility that this will end is divorce, but I honestly don't know.<BR>Keep holding on to hope. It's not over til it's over!<P>God Bless,<BR>Cheryl<BR>

Cheryl,<P>Wow... Wow... Wow...<P>I never would have tought this kind of thing could happen.<P>I remember way back when I was giving you advice for lawyer.<P>...I've dreamed (fantacized) about this type of 11th-hour turn around.<P>Advice is a bit difficult...<P>Being such a strong opponent to divorce...<BR>...I'm not sure what to say.<P>But I guess I would recommend to keep yourself protected...<BR>...since what he is going through could be very transitory.<P>Whether you decide to divorce...<BR>...or fall back to a post-nuptual<BR>...or just hold back... all together...<P>...you have my prayers!<P> <P>Jim

Jim,<P>How I love to hear for you! <P>I can't believe this either. I'm not sure how to feel, but I do know that the words coming out of my mouth right now, are because I learned them here!<P>It could very well be transitionary, since he is usually the 'dumper' not the 'dumpee'. <P>He told me tonight on the phone that she dumped him; that she had bigger and better things to do; that she didn't need him. I told him I could feel him hurting. He said, "I know you do, you've been there too". He also asked if I thought the papers had been filed yet (is he fishing???). I told him I hadn't talked to my atty so I didn't know.<P>You never know what God has in store, Jim. Your court date has been set back again. Maybe, just maybe, it will give your W more time to see the OM as he is.<P>Thanks for checking in on me.<P>You and your family are in my prayers as well.<P>God Bless,<BR>Cheryl<BR>

Hi Cheryl,<P>Hope reigns, even at this late hour! <P>Thinking of you!<P>Sheryl

Hi Again, CeeCee -<P>Things with WAD are not the best....he is being very arrogant right now. UGH!<P>Court date of Aug. 2nd was postponed cuz my lawyer's husband died....<P>My fault of course!!!! (Now, I have the power over life and death..apparently!!)<P>JERK!!!!!<P>Anyway.....along with alot of other "stabs" he told me that he would talk to me, write me letters and even do things for me around here if I would just sign the "god-damned papers".....<P>Nice, huh? <P>It is pitiful.......I did have to say to him that I have not been holding this up and resorting to blackmail is not necessary - besides being very cruel to my feelings!!!!<P>He is torn and it shows......he believes that he needs this to move forward WITH me!!!! <P>Yep, still a big WAD.....wouldn't you say?<P>Hugs,<P>Sheba

Ceecee<BR>How wonderful!!! <BR>Sounds like my H, his OW dumped him too!<BR>The day she did he called ME!!!!<BR>Said NOW I know how you FEEL!!!!<BR>Well they kept on and off again calling until just this past week. When he said once again it is all over!!! I said I want to believe that but I've heard that before.<BR>He said yes but I told you our whole conversation and it is over!!!!<BR>This time I almost believe him because he is now starting to act differently toward me...<BR>So maybe , even if he gets this job out of town we can still rebuild. As far as I know the Divorce is still on "HOLD". I told him if HE wanted to restart it he had to do it not me. So we will see!!!<BR>Good luck<BR>

Cheryl,<BR> <BR>I'm really happy that your H is coming to you with all of this. I think that it means that deep down he has always loved you. I also want to throw caution your way. You have come sooo far and been through so much hurt that I don't want to see you get sucked up into his insecurities again. If I were you I would nicely talk to him and ask him all the questions that you have wanted to ask him for along time. Maybe ask him if he is back in you and your D lives more now just because he is alone now. I think you need and deserve those answers, because if you are like me those questions will always be there. <P>As for us, well its rocky right now. We are trying but Jeff has so much guilt about last year he is letting it eat him up inside. Not only is he feeling guilty for the last year he is feeling guilty for everything he feels he has done wrong for the last 18 years. I myself question how much is guilt and how much is just self pity. He says he feels hollow inside. He is on prozac but I ? if he needs a ^dosage. I can only do what I can do though and have tried to keep myself busy and happy. I can't let his turmoil control my life anymore. I'm just living day to day and doing what I can do to keep everything going.<P>I'm really sorry I haven't gotten back to you. I really don't spend a whole lot of time on the computer anymore.<P>Just know I am thinking of you alot. I really do hope that you get the happiness you deserve.<P>Love Ya <P>Jill

Hi Cheryl, <P>WOW - what a story. I remember all the junk you went through. All the hard times. Gosh, you are in an interesting situation. <P>I know you have grown tremendously through all this and you are cetainly in control (which is a wonderful mindset to be in). <P>Whatever happens, I know you'll be OK. <P>Best wishes to you, <P>SHA

Cheryl,<BR>I am proud of you, your strength through all this, your wisdom that you have gained and above all your grace. You have handled yourself extremely well under extreme situations. I hope that what ever happens that you never lose you. He can have when looking back on this nothing but respect for you....<BR>Michael

Hey Sheryl,<P>How are you? I owe you and e-mail. It's coming.<BR>I am trying to be patient. I am really at the point where I don't know what I want. I fought so long for this, and now that the moment I have waited for is finally here, I'm confused.<BR>I'll write you later.<BR>Love ya!<P>Sheba,<P>Oh my! Don't ya just want to bean 'em? I know you will do what is best for you. Sometimes marriages have to end before they can really begin. Maybe yours in one of them.<BR>Hugs right back to you. Hopefully I see you in October!!!<P>Tyra,<P>My H called me the day she dumped him too! Honestly, from what I have learned here, I don't think she is gone yet. They have too much history for her to just go away. I am very leary of that.<BR>But, the good news is, we are communicating again, and if nothing else, this will be best for our daughter.<BR>How are you holding up? When does H find out about the job? Keep me posted.<BR>Good luck to you, too!<P>Jill,<P>Ah sweetie, I am so sorry things are bad for you again. I wish there was something I could do for you. You have worked so hard. I'm here for you. Don't worry about not writing me back; I totally understand. <BR>I'll e-mail you later.<BR>Love you!<P>SHA,<P>Oh, it's so good to hear from you. How is recovery going? <BR>I know that whatever happens, my daughter and I will be fine. I'm actually kinda liking having her all to myself !<BR>Hope all is well with you and your family. You are in my thoughts and prayers.<P>mkn,<P>You are so sweet. I wish you all the happiness you deserve too. Take care of yourself, ok? And let me know when that house is finished; I'd love to see it!!<P>God Bless,<BR>Cheryl<BR>