Hi,<BR>I haven't posted much lately.. Nothing much is going on(as far as anything to do with H).<BR>I feel down for a couple of days.<BR>yesterday I had the last session with my therapist(she's doing an internship for an year from Sep.) and I told her right now I'm very happy.<P>I'm happy but I feel down thinking about what H did to me. <BR>So I think I should make a list about good things came from discovering A.<P>1. At least now I know my H is that kind of person. And maybe I was almost blind before but now I see many mean things he's done to me... If I didn't know about his A, I would have been unhappy and not knowing why.<P>2. I don't think about his favorite food or things when I do shopping, if I don't feel like cleaning or cooking I don't have to.<P>3. I have a good job and can live by myself and pay all of the bills from my salary. When I need to buy something I want, I can.<P>4. I started to go to concerts again... I don't have to think about my H being jealous because I like these bands and I'm not really into my H's music(although I think it's great, but just not my type of music).<P>5. I don't have to feel being used by my H. He asked me for things when he need me to do for him.. and at the same time he was seeing OW. He should ask her for all of these. Now I don't have to think about it.<P>6. I started to see many friends now. I can spend all of the time I have for only myself.<P>7. Right after discovering his A I was suicidal, felt really bad about myself.<BR>After seeing a therapist and taking a medication(although my therapist repeated I didn't need it again and again), now I'm very happy about myself, I can see good things in me, and I'm also proud of myself. I still don't think I'm a gorgeous( ) but I feel I'm ok looking and for some people I look good .<P>8. I went through alot in my young age so I knew I was strong. but when I was going through this A thing everytime people told me I was strong I got mad and thought: yeah, I'm strong so people can do anything to me???<BR>Now I feel I'm really strong and I know I can go though this.<P>9. Now I can understand pains people who's in the same situation has. I learned alot, and actually I grow up from it. I'm still not ready for another relationship, but when time is right I think I can try again(before I thought this relationship with my H would be the last one...sad, huh?)<P>I'm sure I have more.. but I will stop for now. To think about these good things, I think it was worth it(or I'm trying to believe that). I still have lots of anger but I'm happy that I like myself now.<P>Thanks for reading,<BR>Meg

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MF:<P><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>I still have lots of anger but I'm happy that I like myself now.<P>[/B]The best thing is you like yourself. I felt anger more that hurt when I found out about my husband's affairs.<P>I hope you continue to find the best of everything about yourself and about your life. One thing I discovered, and was told by husband, is that it was not my fault. It was not because of failure to meet his needs that he had an affair. I told him I wish he hadn't told me such a thing.<P>At least, I would have been able to pin it on something I did and not on the fact it was done on a whim.<P>I believe, sometimes, the heartache I have gone through will help someone else.<P>I wish you much success and love for the rest of your life.<P><P>------------------<BR>Love hurts no one.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>I believe, sometimes, the heartache I have gone through will help someone else.[/B]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>AGoodPhrend,<BR>Your post helped me thanks for the kind words.<BR>I'm still feeling down, don't know why..(maybe because I forgot to take my med 2 days ago??? <BR>I'm kinda in plan B now.. I lost interest in keeping in touch with him from my side. He replies and calls me but that's only after my e-mails...I got tired of it. Then right after I decided not sending him e-mails I got a phonecall for him and had to let him know(Maybe I should change my phone #... I don't want to pretend to strangers my H lives here but he's not around right now, I don't wanna be getting calls for him, and I also receive hung up calls and hmmm who that could be?? another OW?). So I e-mailed him. but no I love you's or I miss you's no sweet talks, just flat business. If he gets mad well too bad. I feel I did enough and I'm not giving him anything if he doesn't try. I'm very tired... oh, I know why I feel down,,,PMS!!!! <BR>My feelings are so mixed up. I feel I'm ready to move on but at the same time I want him to try so I can say no to him... Very wicked mind <BR>Anyway, Phrend, thanks again, I don't know your story but I wish you best.<BR>Meg<P>P.S. Now I need to make more list....<BR><p>[This message has been edited by MF (edited August 10, 2000).]