What is the best way to get a lot of people to read your post? I have asked some question that were important to me but only got a few, BUT APPRECITED, answers. Like this question. My wife had an EA over the internet and sent him XXX pics. We found this site and did all the EN stuff and I have been working real hard at meeting her EN's. But she still insist on being online and talking with other men on ICQ and BB's. One of which is a past lover and lives local and who she intimated to that she might be willing to have a PA with him. He said no, but she has to get on the net every day and see if he has email or icq'd her and read all of his post on his BB. I have told her that this bothers me but she still does it anyway? Any suggestions???

I'm sorry, I don't know what I was thinking....<p>[This message has been edited by yuki miaka (edited August 11, 2000).]

Hi Pegasus,<P>I know it's discouraging. I'd get a bit discouraged when I first started posting here, but let me tell you what I've observed.<P>The more people I answered, the more people answered me!<P>I decided to really embrace the MB site and thought that if people were going to take the time to read what I was writing, and write back, that I ought to be doing the same. <P>Pegasus, keep trying. People will get more familiar with you and the details of your life as you post more. I know sometimes we really don't know what to reply to peoples posts, but even an acknowledgement of their thread means a lot.<P>My suggestion to you...probably would be very bad...but I'd say get rid of the darn internet at home. Ok a LB, and we'd miss hearing from you. Pegasus, these internet things are really hard, and multiplying by leaps and bounds. I guess, like maika said, all you can do is give her more attention...you guys have done the EN questionaire? If so , go back to that and find at least one need you can work on each day.<P>Will try to keep up better with your posts.<P>allison

Hey Pegasus,<P>You sound like a customer being ignored by your waiter!<P>Where's the service around here?<P>I don't know--I think Allison is right in that we have to get a feeling of familiarity--when we know your story, or recognize your name, or something about you that just kind of "clicks" with us. <P> And definately if I've felt or been thru something similar or if I feel I have something to offer, I'll post.<P>Somedays I just don't have strength enough for me to reach out to someone else. It's kind of like water safety.<P>You know when you try to rescue a drowning person--you have to first make sure you won't get pulled down with/by them too. Sometimes a post is sooo desperate I just feel like--"I can't deal with this today." I don't even go into read it. Sometimes it's like "What the hell am I going to say?" <P>But there are so MANY on here now. It's a full time job sometimes. I have to pick and choose who I will respond to--I can spend hours here. I have a houseplants that are dying because of this forum! The humane society is going to take away my dog for neglect!<BR>My house doesn't need cleaning, it needs bulldozing. The only thing I don't dare ignore is my H--and he's starting to feel jealous of you guys! <P>So reach out to others, Hon. Share a little bit of your personal side. I do and people here already know what a fruitloop answer they're going to get whenever they see a "Leilana" post! Ugh! <P> Try to remember that we are all hurting, all trying to get stronger and all trying to survive. We're not an institution here to serve. We're trying to stay afloat too. <BR> <BR>And always keep a sense of humor. If you've seen some of our "let loose" and "fun" posts here you know that its a trait you're going to need to get thru this crap--excuse me, a trait that will help you get thru this learning experience for personal growth.

pegasus -- <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>What is the best way to get a lot of people to read your post?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>There really is no simple answer to this. I've been hanging around and posting here for over a year and a half. I have close to 1000 posts (this one makes 939), and still have a hard time getting responses some times.<P>The others are correct though. The more you post, not only for your self, but in replies to others, the better people will get to know you situation and the more likely they are to reply to you.<P>Hang in there, keep reading.<P>God Bless<p>[This message has been edited by Empty Shell (edited August 10, 2000).]

OK here is a thank you for the replies<BR> <BR>

Pegasus<P>I don't post a lot....and sometimes when I've felt desperate and didn't get many responses I felt let down. But I do agree that if you want responses to your own posts, that maybe you should try responding to some also. The only way people on the MB can get to know you is thru your posts. Mostly I feel good when I post (whether I get a response or not) because it makes me feel like I'm not alone. There's not a lot of people we can share these kinds of confidences with in our regular day-to-day lives.

Thats for sure<BR>

Hi Pegasus:<P>Like you handle. Don't worry about not getting replies, it just takes time to get to know everyone. We've been chided recently about neglecting newbies and we trying to do better.<P>I'm a good example of the reason why you might not have gotten as many replies as you like. I remember reading your post and thinking "I know nothing about internet affair, so what could I say?" My H's done everything else but that...and if he was a little more computer literate he would probably be doing that too.<P>Post...Post...and Post some more...until people get use to you and your story.<P>As for your question, this computer thing is addictive. A bit of excitement, contact with no strings. Probably like the fog of the affair...it's just going to take time to wean her away from it...but if you keep fulfilling her EN maybe she will eventually no longer need it.<P>Buffy

Hey, Pegasus:<P>Going to bed now, but thought I'd put you so you'd be at the top in the morning. The top posts usually get more replies.<P>Buffy

<small>[ February 08, 2005, 08:54 PM: Message edited by: hanora ]</small>

Hi Pegasus,<BR>I agree with all the people here about posting. Keep posting, you will get responses and if you could reply to some, I suggest you do so. I consider myself to be lucky to have an opportunity to read, post, and reply to other (not much but at least I tried). There were many other who probably went through the same thing that we are facing right now, but don’t even have access to the computer or Internet. All they can do is to read the book or talk to friends (if any) or themselves. At least we can vent our problem, concern, sadness, anger, etc…and knowing that there will always be someone out here to at least read our post. They might not response to your question or concern because they either too scare to say something, don’t have the answer for you, do not have time to reply, not ready to get on board, don’t have enough experience to say so, don’t know what to express their opinion, or in my case I have a hard time expressing my though in writing (I tried to read every post if I have an opportunity to do so). I sometimes copy them to my hard drive or a floppy disk so that I can read them later off-line. I wish I could have a real freedom to post, read, and reply during the workday. Where I work, they are monitoring the in and out of the web traffic and blocking lot of web Chat services. I guess I’m still lucky that I still have access to it and knowing that I still have friends our here on-line. One is better than none.<P>Here is my 2 cents. Take care.<P>OOOO<BR>

My answer is a little different. In my opinion whether or not you get a reply starts with someone reading your post. In my case, if I can't tell from the title of the post what is about I won't even open it up to read. I feel that a lot of people's post titles do not reflect the topic of their post. This frustrates me. I know there have been times when I have been on the search for specific topics and had a hard time identifying whose post covered that topic.

To everyone thanx for replying. Just any perspective or advice is useful. I would like to be here and read and reply more but since it is less than 2 months since I found out what my W had been doing, I try so spend most of my time with her and my kids(2 beautiful little girls, 4 and 1 1/2)<P>To hanora I know that nothing is going on with her and this guy. It's the fact that she did sleep with him before we met and that she sent him stuff months ago that she'd be interested again. He is married too and never said yes or no to my W. So when she has to e-mail him or post to his bb everyday, it's like he is just as important to her as I am. Like she's keeping a safety net "JUST IN CASE". And the way I found out was by reconstituting her email with all the pics and notes. And yes I remeber the red horse.<P>To buffy thanx for trying to get more replies for me.<P>To all again. Good luck everyone. <BR><p>[This message has been edited by pegasus (edited August 11, 2000).]

Using "ur" instead of "your" in your topic fickles my tancy.