If you have followed my story, you know that I am home while my H and kids are out of state at a reunion because I was caring for my almost 17yr. old dog.<P>She hasn't been able to walk since early February and has declined in mobility, but not internally and not mentally. I knew some day would be her time and I wanted her to make the choice.<P>In the end, I had to choose for her. Just after I posted my Madonna post, I checked on her and found something nasty. Nothing for polite discussion. It was uncomfortable for her, but not yet painful. I took her right into my vet. She had been one of vet's first patients and I know vet well.<P>She was honest with me two weeks ago when she knew saying she was said she didn't think it was time to put her to sleep, even when she knew I wouldn't be able to vacation with family.<P>She knew I wanted to give her every chance, but never never wanted to torture her or keep her lingering for my benefit. What a fine line when your dog can't talk. <P>Anyway, she took a look and said there was no way I could have protected her from this and there is no way I could have even detected it last night. <P>She could have treated her, but it would have been a gamble and it would have made my dog very nervious. If the treatment didn't work she would become sick and it would be painful. She also believed even with all the care I was willing to give her, the problem would reappear and maybe in a place I couldn't see it for 24 hours and then it would even be nastier. <P>For the first time she asked me if I wanted to continue. She is such a compassionate woman, I asked her, knowing me and knowing my dog, if it were her and it were her dog, what would she do.<P>She said, I would let her go, but she didn't want to pressure me to make that decision. <P>Thing is, I had to make one quickly for treatment, there was no time to contemplate.<P>I held her, kissed her and she was put to sleep. I came home, got her 9 year old son and brought him back so he knew Mom was gone. He seems OK...I'll be ready for comfort, but me blubbering away might not be what he needs, I'll may only upset him.<P>My 14 year old will understand, my 11 year old will be devastated, even though she knew it was a possibility on the horizen. My 4 year old, I'm not sure, but at least with her I can just say the dog died.<P>I hope that it was a blessing for my family that it was not something they had to directly deal with. I hope they are not angry with me. I know H will not be, he supported my decisions with her all along because I was the primary care giver.<P>Funny thing my family called this morning and my 11 year old specifically asked to talk to the dog, which was the only time during the trip. I did not know of course when they called what was going transpire.<P>Thank you so much for letting me get this out here.<P>I had no idea my "remake" would start as dramatically. We talked about this and that when pup was no longer with us, because we couldn't come and go as we pleased as a family.<P>It was a burden of love. I think my girls learned to care for something, even when it was a burden. <P>I think maybe God arranged the timing for me. I would have analyzed without end the decision if I would have had more time.<P>I did the best I could. I know that. I believe I made the best choice based on what was best for her without regard what was best for me. <P>I just can't believe it. It will be so hard to break it to my family...<P>Thanks for listening!

FHL,<P>I'm so sorry. I'm an animal lover myself and I know how hard of a decision it was to make.<P>(((((HUGS))))) to you and your family<P>Mitzi

I am so sorry for your loss. It hurts so much to loss a friend that you have had in your family for so very long.<P> ((((((Hugs for you))))))<BR>Mynabird

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{FHL}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>Just wanted to send you a hug. Tough day! I'm crying buckets too, will post another thread...

{{{{{{{{FHL}}}}}}}}<P>About a month ago I put down our oldest dog at 12.5 years. He was our first "baby" together, and my first dog. My 5 year-old daughter went to the vets with me---I think she handled it better than dad did.<P>My sympathies. It's a terribly hard thing to do.<p>[This message has been edited by K (edited August 10, 2000).]

Oh FHL,<P>Please accept my condolences on the death of your very precious freind. It's just such a "grown up" decision to have to make. <P>Your Old Pup had a wonderful, protectful owner in you. You have taught your children a valuable life lesson in taking care of an animal. Hope they remember all the good stuff for when you are old and grey and needing help .<P>You did more than anyone I know would have. Staying home from your trip, taking her outisde and helping her when she couldn't walk. What dedication! You did good...all around.<P>Good luck telling the rest of the family. It will be hard on them, but they'll know her death was peaceful and you were there loving her the whole time.<P>Bless you,<P>allison

I am so very sorry FHL.<P>I started crying reading your post. I am a animal lover and a heavy duty dog person, even tho I don't have one right now.<P>This was probably so wrenching for you. When our 9 yo Siamese cat died (Cozmo) we burried him in our back yard and planted a beautiful flowering bush there. My H got on his knees and cried like a baby that day in the yard. I've never seen him let go like that, even when his Mom died.<P>Are you okay right now, you're kinda all alone w/family gone and all. <P>I'll be here if you want to talk some more.<P>I know your "Old Pup" is in God's Dog Heaven. Romping around as a real "Pup" and healthy as ever, massive doggie snacks and balls galore.<P>Hope you'll be okay today.<P>You have my deepest sympathy.<P>Jo<p>[This message has been edited by Resilient (edited August 10, 2000).]

FHL--I am so, so sorry.<P>Hugs, my friend.<P>L

You know, I had one religion teacher that held out the possibility that pets would be with us in heaven...not that THEY had a soul like ours, but that we are promised everything we need to make us happy.<P>Of course we won't be married in heaven, so I guess eventually we will have to let go of this forum. Weak little joke there.<P>After dragging on an on for over 6 months, it was all over so quickly. I know the stages of grief, so I can pretty much buckle the belt, because I will be on that rollercoaster of wild emotions for a while.<P>K, We had her before we had kids and she was my first dog. I'm sorry for your loss, too.

FHL,<P>Putting a beloved pet to sleep is one of the most agonizing things we have to go through. But as loving and responsible friends of the animal it is the best decision we can make under the circumstances. I have had to make that decision and it tore my heart out. It has been over four years since then and I still miss her. Here is a little story I found when I was going through the pain of that choice and it really comforted me then. I hope it comforts you now. <P><BR>Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. <P>When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. <BR>There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. <BR>There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable. <P>All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made<BR>whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. <BR>The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who<BR>had to be left behind. <P>They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright<BR>eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his<BR>legs carrying him faster and faster. <P>You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion,<BR>never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you<BR>look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart. <P>Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together.... <P>Author unknown... <P>I copied this from a web site that deals with losing our pet friends <A HREF="http://www.petloss.com" TARGET=_blank>www.petloss.com</A> <P>Hang in there and know you did the right thing.

Sorry to hear about that, FHL, but wow, 17 years! It's really great that you had her for that long. A long relationship like that is truly a blessing.<P>I had 3 dogs that lived to 14, so I know the pain you feel. It sounds odd, but the first thing you should do is go get another one! It seems every time we took a dog or cat to the vet that final time, we always walked out with some sad looking kitten or abandoned dog that needed a home.<P>I'm currently about a year into the latest lost puppy. It never ends!

Right now there is no replacement for my dog. I know EVERYONE thinks their dog is special, but she was my first and because we didn't have kids, she kid of partnered with H and I. Her puppy, our 9 year old dog, and our kids were "the kids" and I think she thought it was her full responsibily to watch out for us all.<P>I know I can love another dog, maybe even as much, but the dynamics will never be the same.<P>We have 3 cats and currently a new kitten, plus other dog. Our house is full. Maybe next spring....

Dear FHL, I'm so sorry for your loss. I think making the decision to put your pet to sleep must be one of the hardest decisions a person can make. I had a 7 year old lab that we had to put to sleep last year because he had a very bad heart. It was a terrible thing to go through for our whole family including our other dog. He really went into a depression. We now have another dog but "Jake" will always be in our hearts forever. <BR>I found this poem and I hope it makes you feel better as it did us.<P> Rainbow Bridge<P>Just this side of heaven is a place called rainbow bridge.<P>When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow bridge.<BR>There are meadows and hills for all our special friends so they can run and play together.<BR>There is plenty of food, water,and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.<P>All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor;<BR>those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.<BR>The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them who had to be left behind.<P>They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.<P>You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.<P>Then you cross the Rainbow Bridge together....

Thanks for the poem JodiC and C or W, it is a wonderful thought.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{FHL}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>There does come a time when this is the thing to do (and I do believe you were right, that this was the time. But, it is so painful...I'm sorry.<P>Your dog was well-loved for many years...right up to the end. That counts for something.<P>Big Hugs--<P>Kathi

...<p>[This message has been edited by Beerman2 (edited July 02, 2001).]

<small>[ February 08, 2005, 09:01 PM: Message edited by: hanora ]</small>

((((((((((((FHL)))))))))))))<P>I'm so sorry for your pain. <P>Since my H and I never had children together (my son is an only child from a previous marriage) we refer to our beagle as our daughter. A dog really is another family member. Your dog had a long, full, love-filled life. <P><p>[This message has been edited by TruthSeeker (edited August 10, 2000).]

FHL,<P>I wish I could say more, but I haven't had a pet since my childhood. We were forced to give them away when we moved. I don't know what it's like, but I know you're hurting.<P>And thanks for replying to me, it does help to be busy. I took a decisive action (for a change) regarding my BF. If you still need a distraction, I wrote some more on that thread...

I am so sorry FHL......I'm just blubbering away like crazy.......It's so hard - even though you know that she is at peace and in good health now.<P>I had a "baby" for over 12 years - that my Dad (who had passed away) had brought home for me as a surprise - when I met my H. The dog came to live with us when we bought the house.....three years later "the time" came and it was my first experience with this. My Mom, my H and I all went to the vet's for "the end" and believe it or not it was my husband who took it the worst!!!! He cried and cried the rest of the day and night. It took over three weeks for him to get through a day without an outburst of tears!!!! Over two months to stop getting misty eyed at least once a day!<P>It was his first experience with death of anyone (human or animal) that he was close to.......he had a dog that ran away from him while hunting once, but he always pictured the dog with a new home and wonderfully happy, so it wasn't so devastating.<P>I have an aunt who is very close to my immediate family....she is in her late eighties and for the last couple of years has been becoming more and more "out of it"......mostly mentally, but some physical problems also.<P>Well, two weeks ago - she fell.....something happened in her head I guess, cuz she is completely "gone" to us now......<P>She has spent the greater part of the last week just screaming and talking Slovak with her eyes closed. No eating, drinking, coherency, recognition, or anything at all. She has a living will which states no feeding tubes, etc.<P>She is slowly going to starve and dehydrate to death and there isn't a darn thing that anyone can do about it (not that you want to keep them alive in such a state - but to know and watch this is an awful thing.).<P>Sometimes I wish we could be as humane with our "people relatives" as we are allowed to be with our non-people ones!!<P>I am right here with you, FHL and am very sorry that you had to do this by yourself.....although sometimes that can be a good way to let out your own emotions about it without trying to be strong for everyone else. That will come in time.<P>BIG HUGS, LOVE and PRAYERS to you for you are a very special lady,<P>Sheba <BR>