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On an evolutionary level, men are stimulated to see a woman, pursue her, and mate with her. The more quickly and successfully men perceive and mate, the better the chances of their genes being passed on. Pornography, strip clubs, etc. are just ways of manipulating this response in men. Since men are visually stimulated with virtually no initial interaction from the female, pornography works for us (if we let it). Women require a longer selection process and interaction by the male to show his interest or at least create a favorable impression to them to allow them to select the best genes to fertilize their eggs, so porn seems pretty empty to them. This is my theory.<P>Dr. Woody<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Resilient:<BR><B>Have a question about Addiction to Pornography.<P>I have noticed there seems to be a certain percentage of WS's that are male in gender that along with an affair were/are also experiencing a Sexual Addiction to Porn. My H is one.<P>Whether it be a byproduct or not, why do we not see as many women WS's also showing this addiction along with their affair? Is it just not being reported or discovered?<P>And if it is primarily a male addiction that accompanies an affair, why only male? Does that in itself say something about the affairs catalyst or attraction to the OP? Meaning it's not really love.<P>Jo<BR></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>

I am in total agreement with you about bringing baggage into 2nd marriages.<P>I had just gotten my divorce from my first husband finalized weeks before I started dating my second husband. The reason that I had gotten divorced: I left my husband for another guy. Didn't have a sexual affair, but it was an EA strong enough to end a marriage. (He ditched me just as divorce was filed.)<P>I was in an army school at the time, so the guilt of leaving my child forever was deflected for a time. As soon as I got out of the school, my husband an I were married, and the reality sunk in. Three months later, I got pregnant with his baby.<P>Here, I ended a marriage due to an affair. I left my kid, then I got pregnant again; I was in tears all of the time--guilt, heartache for missing my child, and emotions due to pregnancy. My husband and I fought constantly. My first husband and I talked loosely of reconciliation until I found out about the new baby. (It would have never happened--he was a scumbag.)My second husband, therefore, did not know where he stood. Therefore, he did not think that I really loved him, and he didn't trust me. What a goatrope!<P>Looking back, I understand what a b* I was, even though I had just met the man that I "knew" was "the one." I know that these early years are ultimately what contributed to the affair that my husband had. Because our relationship started in the dust of a previous relationship.<P>Still, if I had it to do over, I would marry him again. I just would be wise as to how I was acting.