Ok Guys,<P>I am here agian to vent..... <BR>This is how I am feeling on this fine Sunday night. <P>Since friday I have been eaten with the fact that OM got off scott free. I called him about 5 weeks ago. He said they were doing GREAT!!!!! But for me to holler at him and keep in touch! NOT A CHANCE!!!<P>So I have been on and off the roller coaster of resentment. I know that this is negative energy. I know this should be transferred into my marriage. But it is hard as hell..<P>Im so ripped inside. I do not want OM. I want this marriage. I jsut want H to meet my needs like OM did. <P>So last night to top it off. I found the realtors site that OM mother works for. I of course left a email for the new development lady to call me. Which is her. Dont ask me what the hell Ill say to her when she calls except to tell her that H and I are fine and have 2 houses to sell. I wouldnt dare let her be my realtor.<P>So this is where I am at.. I have never sent a no contact letter to OM. So u think that I owuld find closure that way. And tell him that I am sorry for calling him. That I will not contact him again for him to call H if I do. HE WOULD LOVE TO CALL H AND GET ME IN TROUBLE... But his W doesnt know bwout the affair. So he couldnt do it out of spite.<P>I was jsut wondering if that may help me feel better. Becasue I know me to well. I dont even trust myself. I started to let my frined call his W friday. Then thank God my mother talked to me before then. SHe said he didnt get off scott free. He will get his.<P>So that is what I try to hang on to. <BR>I know this is so wrong!!! But this is how I feel. I cant throw this to H anymore. I dont want to discuss it with him. He does better when it isnt brought up.<BR>I just thought I may feel better if I used that as a way of slamming him..... Sorry about the way I feel. You guys are all i have to talk to about this. Family doesnt understand why I let it bother me. <P>I desire all the prayers!<BR>Prayers<BR>Renee<P><P>------------------<BR>We can do all things through Christ which strengthens us. Repeat that 5 times a day. I promise you success!

Hi Renee. Are things any better today?<P>I'm not sure I entirely understood what you were trying to convey in your post. Are you feeling upset because OM seems to be happy in his life now but you are not?<P>If that is correct, remember that every night he is going home to a lie. He "can't" tell his wife, because then he would be admitting to being less than perfect. He wants her to think he is the perfect husband and he wanted you to think he was the perfect lover. He is treading such a fine line where any misstep will let others know that he isn't perfect.<P>And we both know that he isn't perfect.<P>One day he will make that misstep, but it would be best if you didn't push him into it.<P>Let him go. Your husband can learn how to be your perfect mate, but you have to show him what he needs to know.<P>Hang in there. You can do it. <P>All the best. --HBC