I think it was Wexwill who told me how to access ICQ logs, that lead to a lot of other stuff. Thanks Wex, you may have freed a man from an obsession and saved a marriage, still too soon to say.

Jersey Joe asked why would we do this? Well, one good answer is my own history. I worked steadily at his office for 3 years then suddenly he told me he didn't want me there, that he wanted me home so we could work on our marriage first. Good plan for him, he could guarentee I wouldn't be around for her. My daughter drove by the office (we only live down the street) and saw OW's car there. Asked me what D------ was doing visiting Dad at his office. One good guess, found out later that I was right! <BR>It's sad when your children figure things out and it's better for you to prepare yourself for working with the marriage and the OP if you know what exactly has been going on. God Bless!<P>------------------<BR>Chick's <BR>Bren<P>You won't see things until your ready to not be blind!

When I caught my W in a hot/heavy E.A.moving<BR>towards physical I got into her Email. I set it up for her months ago, back when she knew nothing about email and stuff like that. I never thought I'd have to get into her personal mail, but knowing her password made it simple. I now use Spector software<BR>located at <A HREF="http://www.Spectorsoft.com" TARGET=_blank>www.Spectorsoft.com</A> it is HOT<BR>stuff. Runs totally in the back ground not detectable at all except to you. Captures screens, all internet whatever, all keystrokes for passwords etc...only $50.<BR>I just use now to chek up on my kids and where they go on the net, great for that too. We are in month 5 of recovery, doing well, some bumps here and there, see the OM every week at sports practice. Going to team tournaments as a team with he and his W ( who does not know) and my W w/other team parents to sporting events , weeekends, lots<BR>of Triggers I am dealing with. Everyday.!<BR><P>------------------<BR>jnvc

honora - Glad to be of help, though I think it was someone else who posted about ICQ logs.<P>While we're on the subject, if you're running Windows 95 or 98, you can go into a folder with the path C:\Windows\Temporary Internet Files and view the URL of every Web page that's been visited since Windows was installed. That is, if your spouse isn't smart enought to delete these files.<P>My W has been sneaky enough not to conduct her affair online at all. So I don't have any telltale email or other evidence from going through her computer files. (Which I've done on several occasions.) Though I did discover that she developed a real taste for porno sites for a while (not any longer, and I don't consider this evidence, though some people here have gotten very upset to discover that a spouse - usu. H - does this).<P>--Wex

Eventhough I new that something was very wrong in our relationship... talk of separation, etc., it didn't occur to me that my W was having a secret life in front of my eyes.<P>I never spied on her before, but al of the sudden, I had an uncontrollable urge to snoop on her. First thing I did was look at her cellular phone call log. There were several unfamiliar numbers in the received, dialed and missed call logs. I checked the next day and the same numbers were there, noticing this time that the time of the calls was very close and during the time she goes to the gym. I went to the office on a Saturday and dialed all the numbers. On one home number and one cellular number the same guy answered. Last Sunday, after she came back from the gym, I checked once more and there they were the two same numbers, again at the same time of day. I then checked her Casio agenda and it read a woman's name. I got the White Pages and luckily the last name had only two entries, both men. By looking at the number of the hause, I knew which one was the name. On Monday, I went to the cel phone company and got the last six month statements, which we were supposedly not receiving (post office doesn't work very well Caracas). I was dismayed to see the number of times she had called the cel number... First call in September. Well, to make it shorter, I unveiled the whole thing and confronted her that morning with the facts. (I had considered hiring a detective to take pictures, but thought that was not necessary - now I think maybe it was necessary).<P>She denied it at first, saying that it was a friend that she had met on one of those "all-girl" disco nights. She then said that the guy liked one of her friends and finally admitted that she liked the guy herself. Well, as you can imagine I was outraged and yelled for her to pack and leave.<P>We are now in therapy and working it out.<P>I guess, the morale here is that when I decided to find out, it took but a couple of days. It must have been a total shock for her that I even had the name of the OM.<P>I actually felt kind of proud that it seemed so easy for me to unvail the whole thing...<P>Ironically, it is also kind of fun being a detective....

Cachos - Congratulations on some excellent detective work. Sounds like you may have saved your marriage by doing it! And despite the pain of finding out that your W is having an affair, it is kind of fun, isn't it?<P>Regards and blessings,<P>--Wex

Update on the Intel camera. It has a setting that only takes pictures when it detects motion. Could be usefull if you don't have a dog in the house.

check out this site <BR> <A HREF="http://www.yourinvestigation.com" TARGET=_blank>http://www.yourinvestigation.com</A> <BR>it has somw really cool software<BR>Lesa<P>------------------<BR>"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and<BR> lean not unto thine own understanding." -Proverbs 3:5<BR>Take care and God Bless.<P> lms20ish@jobe.net

Here's a challenge for you betrayed snoopers. Anyone have access to directory assistance in Mexico? I would like to contact OM but don't have his number. I think W has it but I can't find it and she certainly wouldn't give it to me. Contact me directly if you think you can help and I'll give you the details.

Sorry, no successful snooping stories to share yet.

Go to My Computer, C drive, Windows, click "show files", go to temporary internet files....<P>If you are hacking into hotmail, then make sure you work offline. <P>Also, I don't know where it is but, snadboy is a product that hacks passwords....<P>Winguardian is free to try out, and it takes great screen shots. Only thing is, while it is in the free mode it pops up and tells someone they are being monitored, about every 20 minutes......<P>Also, if you have a "find" feature in your windows program, use the date function to find all files accessed on a certain date....<P>To erase all your computer activity, go to zdnet and download "evidence eliminator..." That way your snoop stuff won't be detected.<P>Also, with evidence eliminator, you can view the cache files before you delete them

What about monitoring via AOL's Instant Messenger? <P>I'm not an AOL customer, but my W is on AOL's IM on the home PC. I'm able to monitor when she's online from work (since my IP allows me to also subscribe to IM without being an AOL member), although I cannot access what she might be saying or who she's communicating with.<P>I've already logged onto the names of her IM friends, so I know who's online at the same time. However, is there a way to actual tap into their conversations without them knowing they're being monitored?<P>Go to work, Wex...<P>--keystone

I suppose if you could crack her password you could log on as your wife....<P>Or, if you catch her online, you can ask someone you know to strike up a conversation with her....<P>The evidence eliminator will log everything that is to be deleted, including those on her buddy list, if she happens to use your computer.<P>Also, you can see the aol log files - if she uses your computer.

TNT --<P>I have her password, but I'd like to snoop from my work computer while she's on IM from home computer. I guess it's like listening in on a phone call, but I'd love to get both sides of her IM chats.<P>Tell me more about the AOL log files. Is that like a history file that tells what web sites you've been to, or does it actually show the content of e-mails and IM's. <P>Her "friends" made her more savy to the computer, so I cannot automatically default save e-mails. She's also been VERY deliberate in deleting all e-mails after they've been sent or received since I admitted that was one of the ways I confirmed my suspicions about an affair.<P>--keystone

My memory is foggy, because I haven't done it for a while... but...<P>Go to explorer, c drive, windows, and then applications or aol, and then there will be log file for aol messengers.<P>If it doesn't show, then go to start, settings, folder options, and under settings you can tell it to show hidden files.<P>then go back to explorer, c drive, windows, and then applications or aol, and look for the log file.<P>You can view this file in microsoft works, when it asks you how to view it, just don't click the box that says always open this file with this program, that way it won't always open that way.<P>then, go to start, settings, and clear your recent file history.<P>It may be a little bit fuzzy - my directions, but it has been awhile since I've done it.<P>Sorry, I don't know how to watch a conversation taking place with aol IM.<P>TNT

keystone - I do the same thing you do with W's IM from my work, so I know when she's online and I know when a select group of her buddies are online. There are some monitoring programs that take screen shots every few minutes. As far as I know, these are the only was to get both sides of an IM conversation, and I haven't tried them because screen shots take up an enormous amount of disk space and might be noticable to someone while this was going on. The other thing is a keystroke logger, which only captures one side of the conversation.<P>Don't have the URL offhand for the screen shot program, but here it is for the keystroke logger:<BR> <A HREF="http://www.amecisco.com" TARGET=_blank>http://www.amecisco.com</A> <P>BTW, you CAN save IM's. There's an AOL setting (under Preferences, I think) that automatically saves IM's. Unfortunately, you have to reset it each time you log on, I think. I haven't been able to figure out how to do it through hacking my W's account. <P>On another snoop topic - For betrayed H's, don't forget the lingerie patrol. I do this every so often and find interesting items that I know aren't for (or from) ME. Yesterday morning, I looked in one of W's drawers, which I hadn't done for a long time, and discovered a whole BUNCH of new sexy black lingerie. I had been hoping maybe she'd given up her affair, but I guess not. Anyway, I know it's not for me because we're splitting this summer and have hardly touched each other for the last couple of months.<P>--Wex

Just curious....how would one "hack into" a hotmail account if the username was known?

Ok, I know this is probably very illegal, but I'm going to ask anyway. Does anyone know a way to hack into someone else's computer and erase files? The young woman my husband had his online and phone affair with has some letters he sent her which are very incriminating, not to mention just down right gross. She has destroyed the originals, but has them scanned into her computer. She sent me copies when I found out about the affair. She has threatened on occasion to send copies of them to our son at college if we do not continue communicating with her. I don't really think she would do this, but I sure would feel a whole lot better if those darned letters were gone. For anyone who might not want to answer here, I will gladly provide my email address. Just ask.

Bringing this to the top in hopes that somebody will give me an answer to my question.

Margaret<P>I assume you don't have direct access to this person's computer, so sending a virus might work, but there are risks. By the way, sending a computer virus is illegal and I am not advocating you do it. The virus would go to work erasing the harddrive, or selected files (scanned files). If this person has made a backup you would not be able to erase them, and I bet she would be very, very angry at that point. She could then release the files and call the police.<P>I would recommend not doing anything about it. She enjoys the power she has over you so if you let her manipulate you she will continue. If you are worried about what your son will think, why not tell him what happened? that his father had a cyber-affair, the person has gone nasty, and she may send some letters to him. He will understand and respect you for telling him, and will appreciate the fact that you respected him enough to tell him.<P>If the OW is forcing your husband to continue contact, let him respond via e-mail, with you sitting with him while he responds. Keep the messages short. Start increasing the delay between the responses. Tell her you told your son. As she learns she has no power, and gets no pleasure from the contacts, she will drop the threats. And you can get on with your life.<P><BR> <BR>

HA - You can can hack into ANYONE's email account ANYWHERE if you know their user name and password. You do need to know the password. I used to hack into my W's AOL account until she discovered that I was doing it and changed the password on me.<P>Margaret - There's no way to access someone else's computer directly from yours, unless it's on a network, and people's home computers typically aren't.<P>--Wex