I hope it's OK that I have started a new topic. I guess I probably should have just added it to my previous post, But I need some input ASAP. I just found out through a third party, (Someone who is very much on my side), that OM is trying to cut off contact with my W, and won't take her calls. This of course sounds great to me, but I'm not celebrating just yet, because I don't know where it will lead her and this is all still pretty fresh. <BR> <BR>In my other topic I explained that I am many miles from home doing some job training. I've been gone for 3 1/2 weeks and will be gone for another 10 days. I did a dumb thing today and called her during lunch to ask her some questions about our problems. She was very cold and I was very hurt by her lack of response. So anyway, I've been contemplating since then whether I should have no contact with her until I get home. She has been the one to call me most of the time while I've been gone and that gives me a chance to talk with my children, but in talking to her, all has been pleasant unless I bring up questions about our marriage.<BR> Now for my questions: Is the idea of not taking her calls and me not calling home a good thing or a LB? Also, when I get home, if she wants to make love, should I go with it or refuse and would that be a LB? <BR>Thanks to all for your help.

Hmmmm.... It's hard to say just what can be a LB.... and it might change daily. I think I would wait for her calls. But if you set a particular time.... I'd be there. <P>I know I pretty much just let my H call me and the kids (until I really pushed his buttons and stopped talking to him altogether which he took as an ultimatum and he chose OW.....)<P>I think if she initiates the intimacy I would definatley go with it.

Whattodo,<BR>She is suffering through both rejection & withdrawal from the OM...why would YOU want to reject her by not taking her calls? This is a great opportunity to start meeting her emotional needs, even from afar, through the telephone. Be the person she calls, talks to. Treat her lovingly and with kindness and no lovebusters.<P>------------------<BR>Lor<BR>"Let love be genuine...hold fast to what is good; love one another." Rom 12:9-10

To Lor and tootrusting:<BR> Thanks so much for your views and wisdom. I guess I should have been a little more detailed. I would of course take her calls but I'm wondering if I should initiate the calls. It seems like I can't say anything right anymore because at least for now she doesn't want to listen to me. My thought about not calling is that I feel right now that she has her cake and is eating it too. That makes me wonder if she will just draw this out because her needs are met from both sides. I haven't been officially plan A ing for very long and that has been difficult from so far away so I'll give that a try when I get home. Just wondering if I shouldn't stop falling all over myself, (does it not just make me appear pathetic to her?), at least while I'm gone. I can take up plan A in a big way when I get back and if it's true that OM is trying to end things, it should be good timing. I am into my first full day of not talking to her back home and right now I hurt like **ll. I did call and schedule an appointment with Steve Harley today. Hopefully next week's counseling will get me on the right track.<BR> Thanks again for your input and concern.