Another LB session has just finished, and we're both talking divorce. He spent part of Thursday (a day I was out of town), with my nail lady who is also a good friend, and she told me that he wasn't wearing his wedding ring. She said that he told her that he had all of our rings (mine included, which is odd seeing as I was wearing MINE in Dallas!!!), and he was having some cleaning and work done to them, that's why he wasn't wearing his ring. The lying SOB told me that he had his ring the whole time.<P>Now he's justifying all of his lying, saying that he doesn't have to tell me everything and that he does have a right to lie about things that he doesn't want to tell me. He's turning everything around on me like I cause him to lie and cheat and all of this BS. Right now I absolutely hate him. If I were financially independent, I'd want to leave his @$$ in a heartbeat. I'm sick of this! If he thinks that living with an attractive, thin, successful wife in a beautiful beachfront house with two nice vehicles is so bad, then fine, let him sit his sorry @$$ down at the bars with his 41 year old fat ugly broads who have no jobs and either live in studios or with their parents. I'm sick of this! He has no business being married if he won't show any emotions and won't treat his wife like an equal. I'm sick of it!!! He's not worth one second of trying Plan A because he just takes advantage of it.<P>He just left the house and said that he would be back in 20 minutes and I had until then to "tell him what I wanted." Right now I want the ba$[censored] gone for good, but I probably won't in a day or so. <P>Sorry for the vent, I'm extremely pissed right now. Input would be appreciated.

Carolina Belle,<P>I'm tryig to sort through all this so forgive me if I'm off base, this is free advice, 'ya know.<P>Here goes:<P>It sounds as if you may be a wee bit independent, is it possible he feels inferior? You say that you are attractive, thin, and sucessful, maybe he's intimidated? Maybe these other women make him feel like he's walking on water? If they are how you describe them, it might make sense. He's probably also attractive and successful so they pay him alot of attention.<P>I don't know how long this has gone on, as I'm fairly new here, but you mention plan A. Have you been giving him lots of compliments and affirmation? Men are suckers for feeling appreciated and needed, one of our many weaknesses.<P>Oh, and the ring thing, of course you realize that he's playing the field, only you know what his intentions are, based on his past, or if it's just for attention.<P>Take care.

(WS onto site)<p>[This message has been edited by weep (edited September 02, 2000).]

If your financial state is all that is keeping you with him, perhaps you should tighten the belt a bit and learn how to live on less for a while. Material things and being comfortable make it easier to be happy, but don't bring happiness in and of themselves. At the end of the road, a life well lived brings more enrichment to all we share it with than a pile of things... for most people.<P>I know how you feel about being "attractive, thin, successful..." and the "old, fat broads with no jobs." All my H's OW's were attractive (so I am told), but were losers in every other way. The first H's women were all around losers: drunks, whores, unkempt, ill-bred- Jerry Springer types. What *is* the attraction?<P>I think being self-assured, smart, well built and all those things can be a problem for people who are less confident, less secure, and feel threatened by whatever insecurities they have. It makes women like us have a smaller crop to choose from when searching for a mate, but it also makes the prize, when we do find it, all the more a treasure. <P>If this is indeed his problem, it is HIS problem. You shouldn't be any less beautiful or play dumb to make him feel important. He has his own light, no matter what he looks like or how much education he has or how much money he makes. We all do. I don't think anyone should have to devalue themselves to make someone else feel good. If you are in that position, he is not worthy of you.<P>Just my opinion.