I had a scary encounter tonite. I was reading a post by someone and it sounded like the person who had cheated with my H on me! My heart just sank...the description she gave uncannily resembled my H's IA. I guess the only good thing is that she said it's over...I'm just hoping it's not her.<P>Of course I'm probably being totally paranoid but it IS possible that the person could be here. She is married too, so she could be suffering fallout. <P>Just wondered if anyone else has had a close encounter like that.

adamanteve-<P>Yep it does happen. NOt too often but it has happened at least twice that I know of. I was one who recognized the OWH post and I was right.<P>When you read something that you might have written yoursself then I suggest you follow your gut.<P>In my case it was not a very pretty picture with both parties being here. All emotions are at the surface and moods can cause just about anything to happen.<P>I wish you luck!<P>------------------<BR>*heartache*<BR>"Loyalty Is A Two Way Street"<BR>

I wish she would post here. Or my H would post here! Then it at least means hope, and someone is working on their marriage, besides us.<BR> Since my H's affair is still in "full bloom" then there's no chance she's here.

PT never POSTED here, but she did lurk.....well, take that back, posted ONCE to one of my threads and then e-mailed me using a false name and history. She found MB b/c of some stuff I sent H for a friend of his who was getting separated. She didn't trust that he wasn't seeing me and wanted to find out what was going on! <P>Took me a while to figure out what was going on and then I decided to make all posts pretty positive for a while. After a little while, I decided I just didn't CARE! Not sure when or if she stopped, but I assume she did.<P>It happens....not too often, but it DOES happen.<P>Love and prayers,<P>Lori

I think the OW or her sister or friend might lurk here. I actually think she could have used info to make it look like she really understood my H or could read his mind because my H has been in some "fusion" state with her...ya know "one being" "shared thoughts" Scary, but I don't care anymore either!!!<P>

The current OW was, or maybe still is, here. Never posts, but lurks to get info on what we're doing. It stopped me from posting my feelings and stuff like that for a while because I didn't like the intrusion, but after a while I didn't care. Let her lurk. Maybe she will see how disgusting she is if she reads enough stuff.

I know the OW comes here and reads this site. She does not know my name here or my W name. I told her about the site and said that this is where she needed to be to get past her affiars and put her marriage back together. She may post here under a name that I do not recognize. I really don't want to know who she is.<P>She has not been honest with her H about us and her other affairs. He does know that we talked quite a bit about their problems and he was upset at her for dragging their personal life out in the public. If she is here and does post, I hope it helps her. I do know that her H has been here also, but I don't think he has been into the infidelity forum.<P>fs

adamanteve: I recently posted about my Internet Affair. I'm not sure if your post is referring to me, but I want you to be rest assured that I am NOT the person whom your H had an affair with.<P>The reason why I don't believe that it is, is because I clicked onto your profile and noticed that you are from FL. The OM who was in my life, wasn't from FL.<P>I'm sure that all affairs, whether via Internet or in person, have the same basics and sound similar in nature.<P>I'm responding to this post because if you think it is me, I want you to have peace in your mind, that it isn't me. That way, you will feel a little safer in posting on this forum and you won't feel discomfort.<P>I'm sorry about your situation. I hope that all works well with you and that you & your H will recover.

When you really think about it, basically we could all pretty much be each other.<P>All affairs sound the *same* to me--give or take a few minor details.<P>In an odd way, as a betrayed spouse, I take comfort in this. Takes the *specialness* out of all of it.<P>Soulmates, schmoulmates.....POOF...*magic* is gone.<P>Ironic that ALL wayward spouses *FIND* their ONE AND ONLY (soulmate) during an affair, don't ya think???????<P>Just another, more POSITIVE, way to view what's hard to swallow . Peace, Marie<P>

Confused N Sad, thanks so much for telling me that. You are a very sweet person! But it wasn't your post that made me look twice. I do appreciate you trying to comfort me though.<P>I agree that affairs all sound very similiar, but there were REALLY specific details posted that mirrored the affair my H had. I think it just stirred up those old sick-to-my-stomach feelings, and that's why I was so unnerved.<P>I figure that if the person IS on here and she is seeking help for her marriage, that's a good thing. Maybe that will keep her out of mine. <P>Thank you all for your posts...I think I will go find something else to worry about. :-)

I'm also one of the ones who just doesn't care any more if ow does post or lurk here. To be sure, I'd feel differently if they were still involved in any way. I've concluded that ow couldn't possibly respect me less than she did while she carried on with my h. At that time she thought she knew everthing about me that was important. The real truth is not nearly as demeaning as the version she and my h concocted to justify their ea. If she is here, perhaps she'll learn something helpful to her family, but I would not put money on it.

[QUOTE]Originally posted by adamanteve:<BR><B>I had a scary encounter tonite. I was reading a post by someone and it sounded like the person who had cheated with my H on me.</B><P>It is not a worry to me because every situation posted here have unknown odds of matching--to the letter--an exact event by perfect strangers.<P>So, in the event, the OW or OM decides to "be crafty" and address a member whose situation "sounds close" to the one they're in--there are also unknown odds they are talking about the wrong situation.<P><BR>So what if they visit this site? They get a chance to see how many H's and W's are willing to continue to love their spouses through the present storm in their marriages.<P>Maybe, they will read the posts and grow up themselves! <P><BR><P>------------------<BR>Love hurts no one.

I do worry about OW coming here, and seeing my feelings. I don't want her laughing over the pain and heartache that she has caused me. I wouldn't mind her reading what my H has since said about her, maybe that would wake her from her dream, but I don't want that woman to know how much she gets to me, I'm afraid it would only encourage her more.

I also think that most of these situations aren't very "special" It's the same garbage over and over. I actually think cheaters have a specific script to follow that is handed out at cheater school or something lol. If you read the OW board they almost ALL say the same exact stuff to their OP. I myself have seen "my" situation on these boards more than I can count.

I thought a bit more about this this morning. In my case it won't happen, but yeah, if they are looking here, it may not be for nefarious reasons. If they know of this site, how?<P>rrunrr<BR>

This is very similar to a past thread so I thought I already responded. <P>I <B>told</B> OW about this site and encouraged her to post here. And she knows my username. While I wouldn't recommend it for everyone, that's just the nature of our relationship. She's my H's coworker and we've had outings alone together as well so I know her well and vice versa. We formed a strange sort of friendship post A but in the last two months have not been in much contact. We've been quite honest with eachother. There are no secrets between us.<BR>Not even the fact that she wants my H back and that she is still deeply in love with him.<P>I thought it might help her thru her severe withdrawal which was devestating to watch. I thought it might help her marriage which is basicallly a cohabitating situation at the moment. But I don't think she's posting. But it's very possible she's reading. <P>It doesn't worry me. This is just me. If she gleans any info that she may think will work in her favor--well, I say "You go, Girl!"--because I'm pretty sure of the outcome. And if I'm wrong--so be it. <P> <P>Leilana <p>[This message has been edited by Leilana (edited August 25, 2000).]

I am certain that my H's OW is not here. First of all, she's not married, and even if she were, she and my H are too busy making googly eyes at each other to be concerned about anyone else's feelings right now.<P>I'd love it if she posted on the other woman (gloryb) board, though, I'd like to know how she perceives the whole situation! My H is lying to both of us, so I'd like to know what stories he's telling her.....

After reading the emails the OM wrote to my W, I believe he at least occasionally lurks here. He told her it might help him "advise" better about how to handle her situation.

First off, my stbx has no clue about how to use a computer. Can we say VERY computer illiterate? LOL LOL And his Thing doesn't have much of a brain either. They spend all their free time in bars.<P>And if I was too concerned about it, I wouldn't post using my real first name!

I did something really, really terrible.<P>I am TOO honest of a person, I like to let it all hang out. I hide nothing, and I suppose that my greatest weakness is being indiscrete.<P>And I was mad, too. OW is all comfortable and cozy (relatively) while I am going thru such heartache.<P>So after a couple of weeks as a member, I e-mailed a page from this forum to her. I WANT her to see what the real deal is. All those lies my H told her about what a crazed psychopath I am--and how I treated him like S* (as she puts it.) I wanted her to see that it wasn't true. I wanted her to see the aftermath of her fabulous (selfish) romance with my husband, and the pain that it has caused the entire family.<P>It was a terrible thing that I did, and I regret it. It just caused more trouble.<P>I need to leave it alone. I need to leave her alone--I told her that I would never again speak to her personally, but I am filled with so much anger and I really cannot get any closure, knowing that she can just come and go at will, and suffer no reprecussions of her actions. She took what meant the very most to me in the entire world, threatened to take it away forever. I really don't believe in or condone vengence, but in a moment of fury, this is what I did (could have done worse, I guess.) <P>