This is my first time to actually write in although I've been reading the postings for a while. Here's my story:<BR>I found out in February that my husband was cheating on me with the person who was supposed to be my good friend. I discovered their EMA by finding some e-mails they had written. This had supposedly been going on since November or December. He says she pursued him relentlessly and all she wanted was hot passionate sex and she would never tell anyone about it. Well, of course, he gave in. After I confronted them in Feb they both said it was over. In June I found out that that was a lie as well. We had some really bad financial problems (my fault) and we had a baby who was born with a heart defect. The baby (A boy) almost died but he's fine now. Anyway we had to go out of state for the surgery and I discovered that he was calling her He had a phone card number in his wallet. He admitted to it. Says he developed loving feelings for her after the money problems were revealed. But they had begun seeing each other before the money probs were brought out. I've tried to be supportive and loving but I feel like I'm the only one doing any trying. I know he still accepts calls from her at work but he says they don't see each other and she only calls when she's mad about something. <BR>These are some things that really bother me though. He still has a letter she wrote him in June. He's said before he'd get rid of it but hasn't. He read it again a week or so ago. He hardly ever tells me he loves me, even if I tell him and although I know its wrong I've decided not to tell him anymore unless he tells me and sometimes not even then. And the other day I saw this greeting card (Under the seat of his car) that said You make everyplace a great makeout place. Today the card was gone so I'm thinking of course that he mailed it to her. It didn't come here that's for sure. I don't feel loved. The only time I do is when he's half asleep and then I'm not sure he even knows that its me. How do you guys deal with these feelings. What would you do? Sometimes I think I'm just the most stupid person on earth to even care.

Sorry you had to join the club, but don't feel stupid hon - trust me, you are not alone!<P>First of all, I hope you've become familiar with the web site. This is a devastating event, but people do make it through - and come out with better marriages. Also, I hope that you've read "Surviving An Affair". I cannot praise that book enough - it has truly changed my life (and is slowly changing my marriage).<P>In your situation, I would DEFINITELY Plan A (Lostva, Lor, Alias - help me out here!) It's hard - I've just started implementing it myself, but it's worth it. <P>Hopefully Jim (NSR) will come in and give you his Welcome Post, along with a link to his Notable Notes/Threads area. I'm going to post two threads that are very inspirational to me personally - One was posted by Kat1, and the other was a reply that Lostva did to a post by Quandry. Both of these women are success stories, and were in situations that were EXTREMELY trying.<P>Kat1's Update Post: <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum31/HTML/000763.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum31/HTML/000763.html</A> <P><BR>Lostva's Reply to Quandry: <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum28/HTML/000431.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum28/HTML/000431.html</A> <P>We are all here for you when you need us - feel free to post any questions or to vent when needed. Best of luck, hon!<P>Ali

Welcome <B>justsher</B>...<P>I have a post of general welcome I wish to share with you... <P>It has a lot of quick links to many of the <B>most</B> important MB sites...<BR>Click here ==> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000002.html" TARGET=_blank>General Welcome for All New Builders(Newbies)</A><P><B>About your post</B>...<P><B>Ali</B>... is telling you the truth!<P>Plan A!!!<P>Check out the "mechanics" of Plan A at <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum30/HTML/000176.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A - 101 (2nd ed.)</A>.<P>Ali also recommended I give you the link to ===> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000013.html" TARGET=_blank>Notable Posts/Threads</A>.<P>Prayers... <P>Jim

*******Back to the Top*******<P>Come on guys, we can do better than 2 replies! She needs our support!