Well, we went to the wake together on Tuesday night. From upstate NY to Long Island and back again. On his motorcycle. People I know here say I am crazy for doing it, but it was an adventure - and in many ways it was a great "trip" ... we got lost together and had to really cooperate to find our way to where we were supposed to be. We got to the wake about 10 minutes before it ended - then went to his cousin's house to spend some time with the family. It was very hard for me to be there among them and know that they think all is well for us - but I am glad I went, for a number of reasons (some of them a little bit selfish, but I think every so often I have a right to be!)<P>They tried to talk us into staying - I could have stayed and come back with his sisters today, but I didn't want him to think I was wimping out ... plus, I don't sleep well when I'm not home, anyway. He refused very politely, saying that he hadn't brought a change of clothes and hadn't made any "arrangements" to stay. I think he was referring to his duty as "chauffeur" to the slug.<P>At one point he tried to call there, but the line was busy. I wanted to laugh and say to him that slug was probably online picking up men in chatrooms - maybe even online with whoever keeps calling HIS house and hanging up on him... (Yeah, he mentioned that he has been getting a lot of hang-up calls lately. I made a point of telling him "not me.") But I didn't say anything.<P>We got directions to get back a much simpler way, and only made one wrong turn. Took us about 5 minutes to correct that mistake and get back on the right highway ... I navigated the rest of the way home.<P>Let me say this: you have not truly lived until you've ridden 300 miles on the back of a sport motorcycle in a 10 hour period. OK, so I AM crazy - what can I say. We had a couple of close calls where a car or truck pulled over into our lane while we were next to them. Other than that, the only casualties are my leg muscles and my rear-end! Ooooh... sore.<P>I had taken the day off from work today anticipating exhaustion from the trip - and I am extremely glad I did. I could barely move when I tried to get up after my 4 hours of sleep! I worked from home for a while, however, so I don't feel so bad.<P>Today around 4:30, I got a phone call from (guess who!). He needed to borrow the drill again to fix something at work. I couldn't do it right away, but I went over the pizza place a little while later. I brought the drill inside and he took it - then asked me to come into the kitchen where he was working. He had a few questions about some computer stuff and talked about those for a bit. I helped him finish up some of his work and then helped him with cleanup and stuff. The whole time I was there, we talked and chatted and it nearly felt like old times.<P>After the place closed, he sat down and we talked some more. There are some more things going on for me at work (forever a big drama!), so I was telling him about those. I made it VERY clear to him that if things don't work out for me at this job, as of the first part of this year I might even quit and find another job.<P>On our way out, he made it a point to tell me to let him know how things go for me at work. And then we said our goodnights.<P>I'm tired, achy and I need rest. But I wanted to update everyone on the latest goings on...

That was an extraordinary trip. And risky and crazy. I think your H and you are going to turn out to be one of those "impossible but true" stories where you wind up together older, wiser, and much, much better than ever before.....<P>ps. My [censored] could never have stood a tip like that. And he must be a very good cycle-man.

Having your arms wrapped around your H for 300 miles couldn't have been too much of a hardship .

Hmmmm...maybe this is how I could justify buying that sport bike I've always wanted. <P>Slightly Sane<BR>

[img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]<P>I agree with Lor.... I am sure that those 300 miles definately had its {{{GOOD}}} points. If had been me... I think it would have been hard to keep my hands from wandering [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/wink.gif[/img]<P>Go girl!!!!

<B>cheerleader:</B> I do hope you are right. I know I've always believed throughout the majority of this that we will be together. It just feels like the right thing to me!<P><B>Lor:</B> You DEFINITELY have that right... Although it was just a tad FRUSTRATING!!!<P><B>o2bsane:</B> LOL!! I have to say that I prefer the touring packages, myself - but if sport bike is what he has, sport bike will be what I ride!<P><B>Genie29:</B> I sure hope so, about the good points! I know I did really enjoy being with him! Fear of sideswiping a tractor trailer kept my hands pretty much where they belonged! <P>Thanks everyone... I need to say this: This has been the best and the worst - being with him only makes me love him more, and truly emphasizes how much I miss him.<P>The other night, he was expressing his frustration that a friend of his has pretty much "abandoned" his friends because he now has a steady girlfriend. I had an awful time not pointing out how he had done pretty much the same thing because of being with slug. And when he was saying that the friend allows his girlfriend to run his life for him, I nearly bit through my tongue so that I didn't say something really snotty about how little control he seems to have over his own life!<P>I forgot to mention, however, that while I was there on Wednesday night, the phone rang ... and he completely ignored it. And it rang far more than the typical customer would allow it to ring - besides, it was after 11pm... <P>I wish I could pinpoint what about him is different. I think he is more like the man I fell in love with and married... His voice is warm when he talks to me, he teases me again, he looks at me when we talk, and he lets me help him - and he is interested in what is happening to ME. Now if slug would just cross the street at a bad time ... BAD TERRI!!! Bad!!! <P>------------------<BR>terri<BR><B>Courage</B><P>Whatever course you decide upon,<BR>there is always someone to tell you<BR>that you are wrong.<P>There are always difficulties arising<BR>which tempt you to believe that your <BR>critics are right.<P>To map out a course of action <BR>and follow it to an end <BR>requires courage.<P><I>Ralph Waldo Emerson</I>

Terri,<P>Girlfriend, you just keep on having those times with him whenever you can ! I truely believe you are making deposits in his lovebank, even if he hasn't noticed them yet. <P>Now if we can just find a way to make the slug scream her head off at him w/o it being traced to you !<P>Hmm I'll have to think about it.<P>I am glad to see I am not the only glass @$$ on the board, Mike and I don't ride anymore since almost being killed many years ago , but I remember those aches that came with the first few long trips. OUCH !!<P>I'm proud of you. If this doesn't work out I still think you deserve a medal !<P>------------------<BR>Deb<P>Hepatitis C, Please educate yourself ! <A HREF="http://www.hepatitis-central.com/<P>In" TARGET=_blank>http://www.hepatitis-central.com/<P>In</A> memory of a very dear friend <A HREF="http://fathom.org/teemingmillions/wally.adp" TARGET=_blank>http://fathom.org/teemingmillions/wally.adp</A>

Terri,<BR>Re: slug crossing street at a bad time, I had this mental picture of someone dangling (!) something she likes and calling "Here sluggy, sluggy, sluggy." Her little eyes lighting up as she darts across the street...at the bottom of the hill...with a car that is empty (we don't want anyone to be at fault) with the parking brake having slipped careening down the hill.<P>Gee, I'm just plain bad today.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lor (Lor):<BR><B>Terri,<BR>Re: slug crossing street at a bad time, I had this mental picture of someone dangling (!) something she likes and calling "Here sluggy, sluggy, sluggy." Her little eyes lighting up as she darts across the street...at the bottom of the hill...with a car that is empty (we don't want anyone to be at fault) with the parking brake having slipped careening down the hill.<P>Gee, I'm just plain bad today.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>::snort, snicker, ROFLOL :: Lor, that was too good !<P>Deb<P>Who loves the way Lor thinks.

Lor and Deb - you are tooooooo funny!!! Good thing I wasn't drinking anything when I read these posts ... I'd be draining my keyboard about now... LOL!!!<P>Today was my birthday (Sat.) and I spent it with some friends - we went to one of the county fairs and had a GREAT time! I even went on one of the rides - dunno what the name of it was, but it looks just like a hang-glider only attached to hydraulics and stuff - you literally lay on a tiny platform and they lock you in with padded safety bars and you "fly" along as if you were on a hang-glider... it really was FUN, even though it was scary! <P>Deb, I am planning on looking for biking shorts with gel padding in the butt ... at least the sore "cheeks" went away in the course of the next day. Two days for the sore thighs. They told me at work that they were joking about how I was going to Long Island on a huge vibrator!<P>Lor, anything that could be termed as food would probably do the trick... <P>------------------<BR>terri<BR><B>Courage</B><P>Whatever course you decide upon,<BR>there is always someone to tell you<BR>that you are wrong.<P>There are always difficulties arising<BR>which tempt you to believe that your <BR>critics are right.<P>To map out a course of action <BR>and follow it to an end <BR>requires courage.<P><I>Ralph Waldo Emerson</I>

I called him at work on Sunday ... wanted to give him a fun "hard time" about not calling me for my birthday. Seems I jumped the gun on that one - he said "I was going to call you today - I wanted to get all my opening work done first."<P>I know he wouldn't have said that if he had not intended to call, so I kinda wish I had just been patient and sat back and waited. But we had a very nice conversation anyway. When I mentioned I had to go grocery shopping and that I would probably stop by (the pizza place) later, he told me to come "late." I figure slug was there earlier in the day and he didn't want me to be there.<P>I did go around 8pm, the place closes at 9pm ... I figured that was late enough. He was tired by that time, so he wasn't too talkative - but was definitely not unhappy I was there. I stayed until after closing, and we walked out of the place together (too bad slug wasn't there to see that, huh?)<P>Someone asked me tonight if anything had changed between us. That's a tough question to answer - I FEEL like something's changed, but there is nothing tangible - nothing I can point to and say - "there - that's what has changed." He seems to want to see me and be around me more and more. He is more like the man I married - more like the person I love. He has asked me a few odd questions and done a few odd things - for the life of me, I can't think of a single one at the moment, however. Well, one kinda strange thing - at least strange for a man who supposedly wants to sever his ties with me. On our way home from Long Island, at the first rest area, I realized that in my backpack which I had left with my SIL to bring home for me were my house key and car key! He still has his copies of each of these, and he had them with him (thankfully) so he said, "You can have mine." I thanked him as he took them off his key ring and then he said "Isn't it a good thing I still have them?" Of course I agreed. I got my bag back on Sunday afternoon before I went to the pizza place. I dug out my own keys, then put the keys he had given me down with the rest of his keys on the counter. Now, you'd figure, if he wanted nothing to do with me, that he would simply hand them back to me and tell me to keep them. And I was wondering what he would do. Surprisingly, he simply put them back onto his keychain! It's not like he uses them at all - he has not entered the apartment at all, and he doesn't drive my car for any reason. So why would he want them?<P>:: I sure do wish I had just a little tiny bit of insight into his thoughts! Or then again, maybe I really don't?<P>I will post a question I have been formulating tomorrow sometime. And I hope that you will all read it and respond!<P>Thanks, all!<P>(edited due to TYPO!)<BR>------------------<BR>terri<BR><B>Courage</B><P>Whatever course you decide upon,<BR>there is always someone to tell you<BR>that you are wrong.<P>There are always difficulties arising<BR>which tempt you to believe that your <BR>critics are right.<P>To map out a course of action <BR>and follow it to an end <BR>requires courage.<P><I>Ralph Waldo Emerson</I><p>[This message has been edited by terri (edited August 29, 2000).]

Terri,<BR>I confiscated Guard's keyes briefly a couple times, but I always felt a little secure knowing that if I locked myself out, I could call him. Only had to once at a gas station when my dog hit the locks on the car door.<P>He also gave me a key to his house this last separation--when I said that it only made sense, since he had my keys. I never used them.<P>The fact that you've let him keep your keys says you still have a level of trust for him. And he has wanted to help you with emergencies this whole time--he seems to feel, if nothing else, that he wants to do a little caretaking. That's not a marriage, but it is nice--and can be built on.

<BR>terri,<P>The key thing strikes me as a positive. Like Lor says, something to build on. Not a huge thing to build on, but something.<P>Bystander