It is very late, I have no business being up at this hour, I have a long day at school tomorrow, and I am way too pumped to go to bed! Why in the world am I so psyched you say? Why don't I calm down and be quiet? What right do I have to be so up? Okay, Okay, I'll tell you.<BR> Last night I had my first opportunity to counsel with Jennifer via Telephone Counseling. I know, I know, I'm just a rookie and I've still got a lot of heartache yet to come and I will probably find out things that I really don't want to know, but I will not be a victim any longer! It's a win, win for me and for any of the rest of you out there who decide to take the bull by the horns, as it were, and decide that you will be victorious! The way I see it, I have just barely been seated in the very front seat of the roller coaster, it's too late to get off of the ride, and I'm on my way! I am fully prepared to be hurt even more than I thought I had the capacity for. Like they say at the amusement park, "Hold on tight, keep your arms inside the vehicle at all times, and have fun! Look people, either we will all come out of this with a situation better than we ever dared dream possible, OR, we will be better, stronger people for the experience. I know there are those out there reading this ranting who now hate me, but darn it, I'm a winner and so are you.<BR> After my session, I went to the gym and I felt like I could have doubled the weight and never even noticed. People, get out there, use exercise and proper diet as your anti-depressant, and think positive. You will gain a brighter outlook on life, and gain a better physical and mental self image which you can then use to impress your newly won over spouse or if the unthinkable happens, and you can't make things work out, you be ready to tackle life in a positive way.<BR> Look I realize the possibility that I may be posting again in a short time with bad news, but for now no one is going to take away my dreams.<BR> Ya'll be good, TTFN!

Very therapeutic and good to read your post.<P>Glad that at least you have seen what it can be when you are positive.<P>God bless you and stay perky!

WTD-<BR>Be happy while you can, you don't get very many of these perks. I had a small breakthrough of communication the other night. I went for a walk after, and was welling through my neighborhood at the top of my lungs, "I feel so much better! I am smiling!" <P>It doesn't take much to have a positive sign from the S, but any little bit helps! Self esteem soars because you realize you are still a person, capable of extracting some emotion from your H, good or bad--I'll take it all!<P>Silence is the enemy.

hi whattodo,<P>Just wanted to say a big thank you for your great post. It helps so much when people pass on what the Harley's teach them. It's kinda like getting a little gift from a stranger.<P>You were so right about the results from all of this...and I will remember your words. Yep, either way we will win. I never knew I had as much strenght as I do...my family and freinds comment on it all the time. And I'm not even pretending now. Sure, I still get down and still let H's fog get to me, but less and less all the time. I'm learning to rely on myself.<P>Don't worry about the bad times...your good attitude will seep through when you most need it.<P>allison