Hi folks! Wanted to get everyone’s opinion on this because I’m stuck and need some assistance.<P>I think many of us can relate to depression in the sense of what many of you are going through, but I fear that mine is something more than temporary depression. I have and so has everyone else close to me, come up with some other excuse (this includes my doctor). I have been extremely emotion since I was in high school. I think my Mom says I have always been like that. I think my strength helps to convince me (for a while) that it’s something I need to “get over”. I am convinced that I am in fact manic depressive (I don’t even know if I spelled that right.)<P>Anyway, I have been told that my excessive crying, over-reacting, over-eating, lack of self-confidence, etc. is all due to either immaturity (that was the latest), over-expressive, lack of emotional control or being spoiled. My doctor could never understand “what was so horrible”, he reluctantly gave me what ever prescription I asked for. And I wonder why I haven’t beaten this yet (hmmmm).<P>This weekend was a bad one for me. I cried at my desk (I NEVER do that – it’s unprofessional) I did my best to hide it. I couldn’t really tell you why. All I could say was that I was over reacting to conversation s with my mother and sister. My mother gave me sh*t about not wanting to go to visit her brother and my sister was asking (what seemed to me) a million questions about OH’s house hunting. I haven’t been able to really converse with my sister since I told her that OH said she was a b*tch. I created the tension that exists now. I live with that.<P>Back to the topic, at this point I don’t know what to do. I’m thinking about looking for a psychologist and getting an opinion (god only know when I’ll find the time, but…) this is a hard thing considering OH has background in psychology and really doesn’t think too highly of them as a group.<P>What is the most difficult part is feeling like no one understands. No my life is not terrible, but no one knows what it feels like to have this over-whelming emotional pain that can drive you crazy. I can remember when it was very bad, which was right after I had been “discovered”…I teetered on that edge of the insanity fence. You have to make a choice when you sit there. It’s like hearing million of people screaming at you every second of every day and you look on the other side of the fence and see that it’s quiet. It’s a tough decision to make.<P>I keep trying to run away from this hoping that a new area will make it go away (I’ve been doing that since college), but if I am a manic depressive then it will only follow me.<P>Let me know what you think.<BR><P>------------------<BR>What does not kill you, will only make you stronger!

If you suspect you are depressed, definitely get to a doctor and discuss this. If you believe you may need medication, you will need either to coordinate with your medical practioner or see a psychiatrist, as psychiatrists are MD's and may prescribe meds.<P>Don't put this off. I cannot even begin to express how much different I feel and how much different I AM since I have gone on anti-depressants. I have overcome irrational fears, unprovoked anger, the need to be right at all times ... and I am working on some major life-long organizational issues which were some of the problems between myself and my husband - and making progress, slowly but surely.<P>I hope this helps...<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR><B>Courage</B><P>Whatever course you decide upon,<BR>there is always someone to tell you<BR>that you are wrong.<P>There are always difficulties arising<BR>which tempt you to believe that your <BR>critics are right.<P>To map out a course of action <BR>and follow it to an end <BR>requires courage.<P><I>Ralph Waldo Emerson</I>

Go see a doctor that specializes in chemical depression. NOW!!.

I can relate.. I have been on 3 types of anti depressants and they work wonders... GO GET ANOTHER DOCOTOR NOW!!!!!!!!!<BR>A doctor who doesn't listen to his patient is very dangerous.... I had one tell me that period PMS and my monthly pain were all in my head... When I had my first born, I knew then that I had been having CONTRACTIONS monthly...

I would like to agree with the reponses you have received so far. I don't know your backround regarding the EMA, yet, I have a history of depression. I suffered from anorexia and depression (which came first I'm really not sure of)for approximatly 8 years, which ended about 7 years ago. Anyway about a year into my anorexia I was hospitalized twice over a year and a half period. I was put on anti-deprssants and they helped tremendously. They helped me to think clearer and gave me the ability to work on the issues.<BR>In my current situation, I am unable to take them for I'm expecting a baby in Oct. However, I plan to go to my doctor to go back on the medication as soon as I possibly can.<BR>You can go to a primary, or thru a psychiatrist/psychologist. If you are not in therapy, you may want to try it to make sure of the diagnosis, and also because therapy does wonders on its own also. I was in therapy for the full run during my past experience, and it really helped me. Definatly look into it though, and good luck. Keep posting and let us know how you are doing. <p>[This message has been edited by Not Giving Up (edited August 21, 2000).]

You need to get to a PSYCHIATRIST, I can't stress this enough. When my H finally realized that he did have depression he went to the regular Dr. He was embarassed about it so I gave him the list of symptoms (he had almost all of them and I think if you have 5 it means you're probably depressed). He circled all the symptoms he had and showed it to her. She said "Are you able to work?" When he said yes she said "Then you're not depressed. Depressed people can't work" I was so p----d off! She had no idea what she was talking about. We mad an appt. with a psychiatrist but luckliy the depression began to lift on its own. From what I have read there are diferent kinds of depression. What my H had was an episode of major depression which usually lasts 6-12 months (his lasted about 9) and then lifts on its own when your body chemistry normalizes itself. Often people like this usually only need meds for a fairly brief period of time. Then there is chronic depression which can last for years. A good friend of mine has it and she feels she will need meds forever (she's doing great by the way). It took a long time for her to be diagnosed (her regular Dr. ran every test known to man on her). Finally she went to a psychiatirst and got the help she needed. Don't let it wait.

A pschiatrist is the right choice. A psychologist cannot depense meds, they only have a PHD. A Dr. cannot be sure either, especially since you have had these symptoms since high school. Once on the proper meds, you will feel better. But see your psychiatrist every 6 mos(or whatever he recommends) because your body can get used to the drugs, and they stop being effective.<P>Psychiatrists also are good at getting to the root of what causes this behavior, whether it is chemical(balances within your body)or traumatical(childhood repressed memory.) Or something else!!! Do not delay, call one today. I hope you feel better soon.

Definately go to a psychiatrist asap! My primary care dr prescribed Paxil, but too low of a dosage. It wasn't until I went to the psychiatrist that I got the proper dosage and began feeling a lot better---emotions stabilized and I am able to think much more clearly about my situation and what needs to be done.<P>Best of Luck!

Thank you everyone. I think that the support I get here is irreplaceable (sp?). My question now is how to best find a reputable phychiatrist. Since I can't really depend on my primary for a recommendation, what do you suggest?<P>

I know it's been awhile, but can anyone offer suggstions on how to find a good psychiatrist?<P>I went back on SAMe but I know I need something else.

Torn Apart, does your hospital have any type of referral service? If so, that could be a good way to get a good psychiatrist. The only other way besides a service, or any acquaintances that have seen someone they could recommend that I know of would be to go through your primary dr. I know where I live, I had to get a referral from my primary due to insurance. <P>Have you started any counseling? If so, your counselor could probably recommend someone, too.<P>Please, for your health, find someone as soon as you can. You'll be so glad you did!<P>Take Care!

Call your insurance company. They will give you a listing of local Dr.'s in your area. Call and ask questions: Years in practice, ratios of successful treatments, etc.<P>When you go there, do you feel comfortable in their office or is it a dump? Be picky if you need to be. But if your ins. recommended them they are probably ok.<P>Or ask in your church, sometimes they have ones listed in the bullitin for your parish. Call the office, they will tell you.<P>If you don't have ins. , ask one of your frinds to contact their ins. to find you some numbers and addresses so you can proceed. Chin up, you are finally taking a big step forward--congrats. I hope this is good for you. I think it is. <P> BS