Hello All,<P>As you guys know, my H and I are separated. It's been 4 mos and 8 days today.<P>H has been buying all sorts of "stuff" for his house. It's an old house and needs alot of things, like mini blinds, light fixtures, etc. But he is also buying other stuff, like a bed w/fancy old bedframe (rickety), couches and dining set, altho all this stuff is from warehouse type places and not real quality, kinda second hand stuff.<P>I'm getting really worried. This is starting to look pretty permanent to me.<P>The last time we separated he never bought ANYTHING, just slept on a blow up mattress and lived in a converted office/apt w/2 very small rooms.<P>This time he has his boys there whenever possible so maybe he's furnishing his house primarily for them and feeling domestic because of that.<P>But then again, I worry that the more he digs himself into this house the more likely it could be forever.<P>Can anyone out there give me a situation where WS did this but still returned home?<P>Jo<P>------------------<BR>Josie_Res@Hotmail.com<P>"Remain flexible like a reed, as opposed to an oak which can snap in the wind"<P>[This message has been edited by Resilient (edited September 06, 2000).]<p>[This message has been edited by Resilient (edited September 06, 2000).]

Me, Jo!<P>New furniture, well, sorta new. TV's...all stuff for THEM..even ordered a bunch of houseplan books to build their "dream home". <P>AAUUUGGGHHH!<P>You never know.<P>Thinking of you,<P>Lori

Resilient,<P>If the boys are going over, he may be reliving his youth and they are "ooing and aaahing" him. But, they gotta go home sometime to their families, and your H will be left alone to face the realities of his situation. Could actually be a good thing, as he may have to face being alone while buddies go home to loved ones. That lifestyle never looks as good as it seems.<P>I suggested the YMCA to my H, until he could figure things out, but he said he didn't want to. His lease on his apartment is for 6 months, so he will have to move or stay where he is anyway. He says the place is a dump (I only gave him a week to move out). <P>I understand how you feel. My H moved into his own apartment, but did not buy anything. He borrowed a folding mattress from a co-worker, a fold-up picnic table from a mutual friend, our loveseat, my little microwave from my office, and our 13" tv set. He pays his rent and half the mortgage for the condo we live in. His lease ends in October and I am curious as to what he will do next.<P>Miss him really bad, but I understand he is in a fog and has to go through this process. It's sure tough for us BS though,isn't it?<P>Take care, Many Tears<P>

I'll tell you a story about my mom, dad, and stepmom. Stepmom is love of dad's life. They met, fell in love, yada yada yada. Then my mom came into the picture, a gorgeous blond, and dad went into total lust. He had an A with her, I was conceived. He divorced my stepmom and moved in with my mom. He and mom had very intense feelings for one another, but it wasn't love - there was little substance besides sex. He proposed to mom, but he missed my stepmom terribly. Two weeks before the wedding, my dad and stepmom ran off and eloped! It took dad coming face-to-face with what the rest of his life was going to be, and he went back to his "soulmate". So there is hope