Dear Lori,<P>Can you tell us how long your H's A w/PT went on.<P>Approx date it started.<P>Date of Discovery.<P>Date it ended.<P>Couldn't locate our Profile/Stats thread so thought it would be okay to post to you directly.<P>Thank you Honey!<P>Jo<P>------------------<BR>Josie_Res@Hotmail.com<P>"Remain flexible like a reed, as opposed to an oak which can snap in the wind"

Sure, I'll give you the run down.<P>#1 - you're gonna hate me for this! Not quite sure about when it started. They met in December 98 when she started working for the company he was doing a job for. Became close friends. Not sure of the actual "affair" timing 'cause he isn't either! Remember he thought it was "just a friendship" for such a long time! The best I can figure, it really started heating up right after my dad was killed. That's when we were both so much in shock and vulnerable and he really needed someone. That would be in March.<P>#2 - The weirdest things you remember...On June 27, we made amazing love (blush!). Again the next morning and he left that morning after telling me that he felt closer to me than he had in years. It felt like we were finally moving past the grief of the last 2 years with my mom's cancer, both our father's deaths and the death of his grandmother. I was on top of the world. That after noon, June 28, he came home a different man. All to pieces. Out of control. Told me he loved me, but not like he did before. Said we needed to talk and work on it. He's never told me exactly what happened that day, he can't deal with it yet. Doesn't really matter to me. The next week he was a madman. Crying, upset, angry...absolutely out of control. By the next Saturday, he told me about PT. Said he hadn't taken her out yet, but she made him feel wonderful. He was confused and didn't know what to do. Agreed to work on our marriage, but couldn't stop seeing her.<P>He moved out August 5, the day after my b-day and in with PT on Sept. 1. He had moved her out of the dump she was living in and into a decent brick home, rented, until they could build their dream house. They both work in the construction industry and she had no furniture to speak of, so they bought stuff from models as the sold. Used, but not used, if you know what I mean. Opened joint bank accounts that first month, saw a lawyer about his adopting her wee one. The whole nine yards.<P>#3 - Here's the tricky part. From what I understand from him, he knew them moment he left (I mean b/f he got to the corner) that he was doing the wrong thing. He told me if I had looked out the window and watched, I'd have seen him sitting at the end of the road for almost 1/2 hour....knowing he wanted to come back and knowing he couldn't yet. He says (and other reports confirm ) that he knew w/in 2 weeks that it was not love like he thought with PT, but now he felt he "made his bed and had to lie in it". He's one to "never go back" and he didn't feel he would ever come home, had made promises to her, loved her little one and decided he'd better work his butt off to make it work. It didn't. He was miserable and so was she. So...according to the best timeline I can figure out, they were still giving it a shot, but basically knew it was over by October.<P>Surprisingly enough, he was still really mean to me - most of the time and still ignored me. By December, however, he started calling a bit, stupid stuff, favors I could do for him. In January, he offered to come by and fix the dryer for me (it had been broken since he left). Instead, he called on his cell on the way and asked if I wanted to go for a ride. We drove up to my brother's (first shock) about 3 hours away and he asked about coming home (2nd shock). I had had NO indication whatsoever. In fact, on NYE he had told me he was filing for divorce and THREE DAYS BEFORE he asked to come home, I got my first and only letter from him...saying that he cared for me but we made better friends than spouses and he was proceeding with the divorce.<P>He told me later that earlier that week, he heard some country song that made him stop and think that he was in the wrong place, doing the wrong thing and he'd never be able to look himself in the mirror again if he didn't try to set it right. He dismissed it....until he heard the same song AGAIN on the way to fix my dryer. That's when he called and asked me to go for a ride...to feel me out...see what the possibilities were.<P><BR>Well, that's it. Hope it helps.<P>Luv ya!<P>Lori<BR>

Hey Lori-<BR>What was that song- do you know?<P>Maybe I could play it over and over while H is here? Maybe it would work again?

LOL!! I don't have a clue. Robert says he can't remember the name of it either, but he remembers the singer. Aw, man, who'd he say it was? That guy who does the Ford truck commercials, what on earth is his name?<P>I'm with you! Heck, if I'd have known THAT'S what it took, I'd have bought the CD and paid people to play it everywhere he went!!!<P>Lori

Allen Jackson? Maybe? I don't know any of his song titles, sorry.