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Does LOVE or the famous spark die and never come back?
#885715 09/11/00 10:21 AM
Joined: Aug 2000
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mvalcolla Offline OP
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mvalcolla
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This has been on my mine for sometime and I've read about it on these pages. Any comments out there???
Re: Does LOVE or the famous spark die and never come back?
#885716 09/12/00 12:15 AM
Joined: Apr 1999
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Chris -CA123 Offline
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Chris -CA123
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Yes the love can die & never come back.<P>By doing nothing about it, it will not (usually) come back. It takes nurturing & care to bring it to life again just as a small spark/ember in a fire. It doesn't just happen.<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>
Re: Does LOVE or the famous spark die and never come back?
#885717 09/11/00 01:06 PM
Joined: Aug 1999
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F A Offline
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My W, who was the WS, seems to not believe that it can, at least the "in-love" feeling or the spark. This makes recovery very difficult, at least for me, because I'm working on creating something with someone that doesn't believe that it can happen. I know that I'm trying to bring it back, and there are times when it seems like she is trying, but she has pretty much of a very negative attitude about anything that I may suggest to her that we do or try, then afterwards she says that she was glad that we did it and that she is sorry for not wanting to in the first place, but then we go through all of that again when I suggest something else down the road. I really don't think it will come back until she starts to believe that it can, not that it will, but at least that it can.
Re: Does LOVE or the famous spark die and never come back?
#885718 09/11/00 02:28 PM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 72
College Station, TX USA
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Monen Offline
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I'm with Chris on this one. The spark never returning is basically the result of an act of will. One or both members of a marriage either does not know how, or refuses to try to revive it.
Re: Does LOVE or the famous spark die and never come back?
#885719 09/12/00 03:24 AM
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 26
Europe
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mvalcolla Offline OP
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I don't know who read my threads in emotional but I do agree that if you don't work on it love & the spark won't come back. I've been working very hard and finally it seems that something is changing. My W has shown a lot of affection and yesterday some love. She came home last night and actually sat on my lap something she hasn't done in ages. It seems that she is looking for that spark that is very dim but makes me believe its still there.
Re: Does LOVE or the famous spark die and never come back?
#885720 09/13/00 04:07 AM
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weep Offline
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I don't think it will come back. It can come back in another form, less the first flush of beauty and innocence.<P>It can come back if both parties allow and want. But I am afraid to open up again because I will be hurt. It is 'better to have loved and lost than never to have loved before", "having loved once is sufficient", etc.<P>There are other wonderful stuff to focus on in life than sitting around and waiting for yourself, the BS, to come to a state of falling in love again with the WS. <P>Would I fall in love with a cowardly cheating sleazebag who bedded a banshee looser than a nymphomaniac (my WS take on the OW) for almost 2 years? Nah... won't go there again. Will live together for a while and see the changes and commitment first.<P>
Re: Does LOVE or the famous spark die and never come back?
#885721 09/13/00 05:53 AM
Joined: Apr 1999
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cl Offline
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Does the spark die? YES! Can it come back? YES! In my marriage it seems to wax and wane. Hopefully the fullness, the feelings of wholeness last longer than the 'down' times. I have plenty of days when I wish for the marriage I used to have, as does my h.

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