Since my WS's A was aided, fueled, and discovered via cell phone and have seen a lot of others mention these -- <P>1. Was a cell phone involved in your situation?<P>Also, my H doesn't use a computer ever (whew!), but was wondering also --<P>2. Was email involved in your situation?<P>Modern technology can help (caller ID, keystroke tracking, etc.) or hinder (cell phones, email, calling cards, etc.) We no longer have a cell phone. We sure survived w/o one before.

My H also uses a cell phone a lot. He's a truck driver. But I also pay the bill so he never calls her on it. But of course incoming calls are not itemized, they just show the city the call originated from. I was able to the the "received calls' menu on his phone once and found her number there. That's one of the ways I discovered that their affair had resumed.

Both! I became suspicious when my W began taking her cell phone outside to talk with her "friends." Now, here in AZ, in July, it's about 105 degrees, even at night. So you've gotta have a really good reason to go outside for a phone conversation!<P>She also became really jumpy when I came into the office while she was on the computer. AOL instant messenger was her drug of choice, but she also set up a separate, private e-mail account to communicate with the OM. Fortunately, she's the kind of person who has the same password for everything!<P>I will give her credit though...her therapist told her "no contact" with the OM, and her cell phone bill indicates she's been keeping her word.<P>Actually, technology is a double-edged sword: It makes affairs easier to carry on, but easier for the BS to discover, if you know how.

I was thinking of this just this morning. Both cell phone and e-mail was the culprit in my H affair. OW got his work e-mail address and began communication that way. Then it was by cell phone. Two things that I can't decide I'm thankful for or wish they never existed.<P>Only drawback is your cell phone bills don't list incoming calls. I found out he met OW before A began (just talking). He carried on the affair without my knowledge for the next few months. I still checked cell phone bill however he never called her from there. I guess they had a signal where she only called him. H also gave me his password. The dummy's I guess never expected me to check his messages cause that's how I found out about the A. So just keep your eyes open. The technology today is amazing. But it's a two way street. Where they can hide it we can also find it. Take Care. <P>------------------<BR>Lost Soulmate<P>"Character is doing what's right, when no one is looking"

My H used cell phone. When he first started the A he had this awful problem of using the co, credit card for longdistance, it was a pain, especially considering how much he used it!<P>Then he got smart and got a motorola with free long distance. #'s are nt listed there. But I found her home number on one of the old bills when he slipped up and dialed her direct! I knew about the a and was subconciously looking for it.<P>I wonder how much of the 600 dollar bill from europe was really bus calls and how many were to her,,I didn't know then. H never did bring tht huge bill home again.<P>Mostly he just calls from the office to her at work.

the cell phone was my H's "weapon of choice". I still hate the sight of that thing. I still check it every once in awhile, just for teh heck of it. Usually the battery is totally run down. I still hate it though!

<BR>Cell phone was a non-factor in my W's affairs, at least I think so. I still check the received calls about every other week and I go over the bill with a fine-toothed comb every month...and I've yet to find anything truly suspicious. She used calling cards, many many calling cards, but no cell phone.<P>Email is another story. After initial discovery I found gobs of email. She had about 10 different accounts - and the real kicker is that one of them was a "decoy" account, where the not-so-bad-they-could-be-considered-affair emails went, and another account that was so secret that she wouldn't log into it from home. There are still email secrets out there somewhere that I'll probably never see. <P>Slightly Sane

My W used cell phone now to communicate with OM. He gave it to her to use. I've not seen a phone bill. I believe it was under his name for both phones (OM's & My W's). She charged it everyday in her room. I hate that cell phone. My W's never used E-mail to communicate with OM.<BR>

Both cell phone and email were culprits in my H's A. Called her all the time on the way to/from work and even in our own house using it. Yahoo Messenger was also used extensively. Da** technology anyway, makes it so much easier to carry on these types of things.....

HI there,<P> Cell phone was the biggie but then once I got ahold of the itemized bills the phone cards took it's place....I hate those cards ......LU

My H and his OW use pre-paid phone cards during the week,and he keeps his cell-phone with him only on weekends. But of course he now has a free long-distance on weekends plan, so they can stay in touch every day. They don't IM, but e-mail each other 7 days a week.<BR> He met her on the internet, and they make their plans to meet mainly through e-mail, so YES, I'd say that phones and email are a very big factor in keeping the A going.

Answer to cell phone question:<P>YES> Hubby laughingly boasted about the size of his cell phone bill, was very open about his "Bestfriend" and he talking to each other.<P>Now I don't see the bill, because he pays the administration at his office. It is a set amount each month; I do see the check register. Which leads me to conclude that he uses pre-paid calling cards to keep in touch.<P>He goes out for a walk with the dog after 9 every night. Some nights the walk is 15-20 minutes; others it's an hour and a quarter. I never confront though I would love to say something like "How's Ow tonight?"<P>But I'm working on not LB'ing. This is because I come here and vent, and because we're in couples therapy. The Ow e-mails him, they talk back and forth on e-mail at work. And I'm sure his secretary fields more calls from her than from me. <P>Sorry Bud, I hate this technology too. Oh, by the way, a couple of our neighbors have mentioned that they have seen my H walking our dog, and it has been on the tip of my tongue to ask whether he had the phone at his ear when they saw him. But I'm afraid I'm too transparent with my feelings, that such a question would be easily read, and I don't want our business "out there" on the street.<P><P>------------------<BR>Belle, Domestic Goddess

Got H last month cell phone bill. He used 700 minutes. I guessed that about 650 were to or from her, 44 minutes were used for work and 6 whole minutes were calls to me.<P>Jill

Definitely cell phone at the later stages of the affair. We worked different hours - him at night and me during the day. She had a similar schedule - no doubt at some point deliberately scheduled that way.<P>I wondered why he was so insistant on the cell phone at the time. After I found out about the affair, I also found out that the phone number dialed most frequently was hers - listed under someone else's name, of course, since she is a low-life and can get neither her own phone service nor her driver's license back...<P>Of course, now that they live together, his cell phone became completely unnecessary.<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR><B>Courage</B><P>Whatever course you decide upon,<BR>there is always someone to tell you<BR>that you are wrong.<P>There are always difficulties arising<BR>which tempt you to believe that your <BR>critics are right.<P>To map out a course of action <BR>and follow it to an end <BR>requires courage.<P><I>Ralph Waldo Emerson</I>

Lets see, I found her # on our phone bill, he started using calling cards.<P>I confronted her about calling our home, he got a cell phone.<P>Why do I feel that once I am out of he picture they won't have anyone to react to. Once the big bad wife is no longer keeping them apart what will they have to hide?<BR>Lora

cell phones, alphanumeric pagers, email accounts. All can be hacked into.<BR>By the way, voice mail on a cell phone is very easy to retrieve. think about it and get the phone to yourself for a few minutes.

My H used his cell phone extensively to make his secret rendez-vous. The proof was always right in front of me, but I was too trusting to ever suspect let alone look. You can believe that will never happen again.

OM has cell phone as does my W. W used our home phone to call his cell phone thinking that it would not appear on our bill. WRONG! She has to be kicking herself for that one. Then found out that W had been placing calls from our home phone to him for months before my discovery and had our bills sent to her GF's address. Got the bills faxed to me from WorldCom. It is still unsettling every time I look at them, my name and her GF's address on the bill.<P>W is computer illiterate.

Calling cards...ironically my H didn't even know what they were until his Brazen Hussy gave one to him. <P>I hate those things, too.

During the affair the average cell phone bill was $500. The OW is long distance and he had to call her at least 5 times a day.<BR>90% of the phone bill was to her.