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Marriage Builders Forums Our Archives Archived Read-Only Posts Inactive: General Questions Question for those who's Plan A/B did not work

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Question for those who's Plan A/B did not work #885769 09/12/00 04:59 PM
Joined: May 2000 Posts: 747 P popeye Member
popeye Member P Joined: May 2000 Posts: 747	Just curious. I am wondering how many people, betrayer or betrayed, who did NOT reconcile with their spouse feel that they are better off without them?<P>I am the betrayed. Our D is not yet final, but we've been separated for almost a year. The affairs started years ago, not quite sure how long. When I found out, I didn't want anything to do with the H. Months later I did try very hard because I wanted to have the kind of marriage that lasted through anything. <P>He pretty much always said he wanted to stay married until recently. He had a period of a month or two where he said he wanted to divorce, but now he's wavering again. Saying he wants me to have his children and things like that.<P>Gave up for a series of reasons, but I have no regrets. No regrets that I tried nor any regrets that I stopped trying. He wasn't worthy.

Re: Question for those who's Plan A/B did not work #885770 09/12/00 05:34 PM
Joined: Jan 1999 Posts: 640 D Distressed Member
Distressed Member D Joined: Jan 1999 Posts: 640	I suspect the vast majority of us in this situation take the "I'm better off attitude". In a sense, this attitude is necessary to stop grieving and move on (whether genuine or not). But for those of us who really gave it our best here at MB, I'd have to say that we probably are better off. It says alot of bad things about a person's character when they won't invest real effort to do the right things, nor live up to commitments, when the betrayed party has changed and is ready to forgive. <P>In both of our cases, I have to say "congratulations on the divorce. It's a good thing."

Re: Question for those who's Plan A/B did not work #885771 09/13/00 06:43 AM
Joined: May 1999 Posts: 3,040 N Nellie1 Member
Nellie1 Member N Joined: May 1999 Posts: 3,040	I absolutely do not feel that way. I am definitely NOT better off with out him. Affairs caused by depression are senseless tragedies.

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