Hi, Everyone! Well, on my thread anyway, it doesn't seem to like me anymore. So I guess I'll start a new one to let everyone know I AM paying attention!<P>Ok, I re-read my thread and I couldn't even make BORING short, huh? Sorry, NB! <P>Bighope - Thanks....I do believe it's starting to feel like a success...hope the smoking goes as well, huh?<P>TS - thanks....that's kinda how I've been feeling. How are you?<P>LAD - things seem to come with time...and committment and you're heading in that direction. The triggers, well, you just have to find a way to disarm them...to make them impotent. Different ways for all of us, but once we discover it, man life is easier!<P>Catplay - you're right, I remember, our timelines are very close. Yeah, we had some setbacks...contact with PT was never one of them b/c that was CONSTANT. (Remember they worked together!) And almost immediately after Robert came home, she convinced him he should give our marriage 6 months and see her at the same time to see what he wanted. He knew, like I did that that would never work. Then he was sure that they could still be "very good friends". There were lunches and such. He felt guilty about what he did to her (go figure, huh?) Eventually he got tired of her shenanigans (a trick a day to "win" him back - she's been amazingly creative) and he backed away from the friendship as well....he'd just try to be polite. Well, that eventually blew up too. See, I never ever had the promise from him that he wouldn't talk with her, wouldn't be her friend, wouldn't contact her....he even felt he should "help her out" when she needed it. At one point he worried that he wasn't the type to be "married" - that was a biggie. He did promise he would be honest with me and tell me of any contact....which he did and that he would work as hard as he could on our marriage. But I knew it needed to be his decision, by his standards. I'm not sorry we did it this way. He never had to sneak or lie, I never had to worry that he was staying away only b/c I demanded it or that he was sneaking around behind my back and it all died b/c HE wanted it to. In case you didn't read it, not long ago, he had her transferred, just to get her out of his hair. She's back on the job every now and then, if they really need her, but it's not a big deal....not to me anyway. You have to handle things in the way that feels right for you...no one else can tell you how to feel or what to do. But, you know what, from the last couple of years reading on this board, almost everyone has a "slip-up"...and most get past it. Good luck to you.<P>cooker - How're you doing, Hon? I haven't been on very much, but I was wondering about you. Still hanging in there? Remember, this is a LONGGGGGG slow process and takes a lot of strength and patience, but I know you have what it takes. Just keep working on YOU, the rest will follow. Hang in there, ok?<P>Schizzo - yeah, I guess it does kinda "sneak up" on you! You're doing well though, and heading in the right direction. I have faith in you, my friend!<P>NB - still lurking, huh? I read at least some of your posts to student...you've grown very wise, dear, you do know that, don't you? Glad you're here. 8 days w/out a cig and counting!!! (Cutting down didn't work for me, not at all. Guess it's "cold turkey" or nothing!)<P>Hi, Beth - it's a hard time while our spouses are with OP....I do remember. You know, like I learned too, that no matter what, we'll still come out of this ahead, right? And you never know when things will change.<P>Hey, Peppermint...been reading about you, Hon. How're you doing? Wish we COULD afford a month-long honeymoon. Oh, well, maybe next year. Thanks for being there.<P>Cloudy - normal is so very nice. Heck, I got annoyed with him last night and we fussed a bit...it felt great! Not to worry, ya know, that I have to watch every single word. Normal is very, very nice. And we're getting there.<P>Liz - one of my heros! Saving up for a new VS purchase as we speak!<P>Hi, Jill - I've been thinking of you, Sweetie! I stop in every now and then just to lurk and check on friends. I'm still reeling from his behavior, you know. It'll come for you, I just know it will. You're too great for it not to.<P>Leilana - hi, Honey, how are you? I cannot BELIEVE I've actually gone more than a week without smoking. 'Course my dentist is gonna have a heart attack as we work on my new addiction to Tootsie Roll Pops!!! Good thing I have great teeth (or HAD anyway! <BR>PT's around. In case you missed it, she finally plucked Robert's very last nerve and he asked her super to transfer her, so most of the time, she's working on another jobsite. Yayyyy! She still pops in to his from time to time, but it's no biggie. Actually, it's pretty funny, he got really angry about something she said to me last winter while we were talking last night (yeah, we just talk about last year like he was off at camp or something - really strange), but anyway, he just started yelling and calling her all SORTS of names! Finally he's discovered she's not the sweet little thing he tried to believe she was (not that he was a prince, mind you, but our marriage is not the first that's suffered and, since she's only 23, I dare say it won't be the last!). The weirdest part is that, although I did smile just a bit (sorry, that 10% b**** in me), it just doesn't have the effect on me that it used to. Guess I'm moving past her too. <P>Sheba - Honey, just keepin UP with your life is enough for me!! LOL Now you know first-hand what those dumb pills did to me! I do sound better, now, don't I? You'll have to quit soon, too...like it or not!<P>tigger - 45 years, wow! Look, I'm pretty proud of 8 days! Thanks for the encouragement!<P>Talk to you guys later.<P>Love, <P>Lori<P><BR>

Lori...<P>the "merge" of the older GQ forum with the GQII forum makes all the posts from GQII "read only"...<P>...what Steve calls "locked out" in his <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum28/HTML/005180.html" TARGET=_blank>*** Merged ***</A> post.<P> <P>Jim