I am very sorry but I have not had time to read all of your posts or your responses. But I wanted to address you because I've been in your wife's situation. Remember, I had the affair, left my first marriage and married the other man. I want you to know that you have a big advantage here. I think you said your wife told you that she has been having her affair for about 4 months. That's a short time before you discovered it and that is good for you. I can't imagine a good mom giving up her family for a short-term affair. First off.....DO NOT move out of the home. I totally understand your feelings about not being able to stay in the home with her if she continues with the affair but if you move you and she does file for divorce she'll get the kids. Period. I also think that when she tells the OM that you know he'll panic (if he's married with kids and he is right?). He'll be afraid of you telling his wife and afraid of her kicking him out and loosing his kids. But you know what? The chances of that (if they have kids) is slim to none. My thoughts are that 99% of women beg their husband to stay with them regardless of an affair. Women on the other hand, are more likely to leave their marriages. Face it, the majority do get custody if they don't abandon the kids. They have less to loose then the man. So, your bringing this to a head may cause the ending. I believe that. YOu handled it well this morning. I think about my affair and what would have happened if we had gotten "caught" early like your wife did. I know for a fact the OM would have stayed with his family that early in the game. I doubt I would have but I didn't have the feelings towards my ex that I feel and know your wife has for you. My suggestion. Tell your wife you love her, you love your family and you don't want to give any of it up. Let her know that you'd very ever leave your children. You want to remain together in the home to work towards your marriage and that you'll help her. But, make it clear that if she feels she needs to continue with the affair then she owes you the dignity to remove herself from the family home. Believe me. If I would have been faced with that early in my affair I would have had my world rocked. I'm only guessing but my gut feeling is that their affair will end and it will end real soon.