Hi all,<BR>Yesterday was appt with counselor. I said it hadn't been a good week, H was quiet. I finally told what had happened Sat (I asked to go along with H to work, he changed his mind, forgot his keys, etc. I asked to go by the office and OW car was there, alone.)<BR>Counselor said H needs to get his priorities<BR>straight. H was not happy and did say, if he pleases me and tries to get his work done, when does he get to please himself? <BR>After left work in the PM he called and wanted to go back and help OW with a lot of work. I told him I didn't know what to say and he finally said he would come home then, but I knew he didn't want to. They are 3 people short in the office and no attempt to hire help, so this should be expected. OW was supposed to leave early yesterday to go north with her H, but was still there late and was going north last night. H is at work now.<BR>I am so tired out and weary of this whole business. Sometimes I feel like a hysterical foolish person and other times I feel like I have been too naive. <BR>My daughters baby shower is tomorrow and I just want to get through this week end with some appearance of "joy" for her sake. Inside I am a dung heap.<BR>L

Dear, I am very sorry that you are in such a 'dung' situation. <P>How is it that your H is going back and forth and not afraid of any repercussions, especially with OW's husband? <P>HAve you both been to counselling? Can OW be fired? It is very difficult when OW is working in the same company. It all sounds very convoluted to me. Your H seems to be in a fog at the moment, torn between both. Sometimes a baby creates tension in the man when he is unable to exercise self control over his physical needs. <P>What about praying and committing to God your troubles? I believe Jesus can work wonders as He proved in my own marriage. I also have a baby and my WS's 2 year A was exposed when banshee knived him in public and landed in jail. When I learnt of A, I couldn't even lift my baby. I was fortunate in having the best godparents for baby and my family are very very supportive, so is the church. I have live-in help now.<P>I still find it almost impossible to comprehend the A because we had an excellent marriage and everything was literally roses. <P>Please try to negotiate with your H about this situation and get him to be more responsible. Be also radiant and take care of yourself - men are very shallow (sorry to those of you who are different) and they can pick on their wives' appearance with a fine tooth comb while sleeping with any sh*t that wants them (my WS's term for banshee is 'a piece of evil sh*t). You see what I mean, how does one come to terms with an A? <P>Only by commiting all your worries to God as I often am advised to do at the most anguished moments to lift my hands to Him above and say "All to Jesus I surrender; I surrender all!".<P>God lOves and Bless You<BR>Take care<BR>weep

Thanks Weep, H and OW both managers at a small company, so no, she cant be fired. H insists there is nothing inappropriate happening, just a working friendship. H has stopped any one on one time with OW and is going to conseling with me. I believe we will get through this, but certain things trigger my lack of trust. <BR>Thanks for the good thoughts. L