My H is continuing his affair with the OW and it is over a year now since Dday. They act like two highschool kids who are madly in love and can't be without talking to each other for a second.<P>They talk for hours at a time on their his/her cellphones and she has the nerve to act like I am the bad one.<P>Well it all may be coming to an end or a beginning depending on how you look at it. My H has not made any changes in his behavior in fact he has been staying out more and more nights. He hasn't worked in over a month so this gives them time during the day together while I am at work for twelve hours. <P>But Thursday he got a certified letter from his lawyer up until now he has just been ignoring the letters asking for his net worth statement. So his 30 days were up and I was pressing to have him thrown in jail or something for contempt of court. Well the wonderful legal system works so slow that it would take another month and another court appearance not to mention another $400. So his lawyer states that my H needs to see him ASAP because if he is held in contempt of court then his lawyer states that I get EVERYTHING I want. <P>So my H reads this to me and says it sounds important. How nice that now that he might lose something material not me he has woken up. So now I wonder what he will do. In a way I just want it over with. I want to be able to go on with my life and find that specail someone that will treat me with the respect and love I derserve. Not this man who is still my H but comes and goes when he wants and sees this OW too. He was gone last friday until monday morning. It just isn't right anymore.<P>I also would like to tell this OW just what I think of it all too. She seems to think she is so special to him and struts around town like she is the wife or prize. Maybe she should make a reality check and look in the mirror. She isn't gods gift to mankind and she is toting a lot of baggage besides (3kids and going on 2 exhusbands.) Lives at home with her parents. Wow what a catch for my H. Tell me she won't be needy and then the light might come on in his sick head.<P>But all in all I am finding myself hating my H more and more for his continued lies and deceit. Also the fact that I have had to seek treatment for an infection that was passed on to me by him from the OW. Nothing too serious but it infuriates me that all this time he said nothing was going on well how did this happen then? I asked him that. He didn't know what to say. I would like to go up to the OW and thank her for the present. I find myself telling my H that he can have his dirty ..... if you know what I mean. How dare he not protect himself but more importantly me. This all happened before I figured out what was really going on. So now there is no contact between us but I am ashamed and very angry that this even had to happen. I am sure that the OW will deny everything and tell my H it is just a ploy of mine to get him back. Well it isn't a ploy.<P>Sorry to ramble just feeling very down and miserable right now.

bc<P>There's a song called "Closing Time" by the group Semisonic that has a few lines in it that really apply to this situaion of yours. <P>The title of this thread reminded me of one:<P>"Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end." <P>Endings are beginnings and beginnings are endings. You are right, it's all in how you look at it.<P>Another one is "You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here". I think it's time you told your H that it's closing time (a term I think he will understand) and that he can't stay there - in your house - any more. It is causing you great pain and it is destroying the love you had for him. Time for Plan B.<P>And finally "Now it's time to go out to the places you will be from". Time to move on, make a new life for yourself. Detach yourself from your H, the OW and the problems they have. Stay away from them as much as possible so that they can't bring you any more problems. Do whatever you need to do to make yourself whole again. Heal yourself. But be careful. You will be vulnerable and it will be easy to fall into a rebound type of relationship that could be just as harmful to you as the one you have now. I would encourage you to heal - give yoourself at least a year - before finding that guy who will treat you right. First, you have to treat yourself right.<P>

Hey BC -<P>How the heck are ya? Haven't been around much and when I have I didn't see anything from you.....<P>I was wondering if anything had come from the legal end of things yet.....<P>I also see that you, my darling.....are still stuck.....<P>WHY??????<P>Do you need it out of your face to begin understanding the why, what, etc of it all? <P>Why do you still insist on making OW so important? YOU ARE doing that, you know!!! She is his cohort if escape, nothing else!!!!<P>You want to move on.....OK, where to? You think this is all going to disappear when he leaves? Or when he coughs up a net worth statement?<P>You have to start handling your own emotions.....the way you feel is beyond being his fault now. It is your choice to continue to react to the actions of others. <P>You have had a year to learn, to begin to understand and to work through your pain......you haven't made to much progress, have you?<P>You are not going to move on BC...you are going to jump into another mess or will wither into yourself if you do not start taking a hold on yourself. This is in your life for a reason.....do something with it!!!!<P>I know that you feel trapped and miserable, ONLY YOU can make yourself feel differently. <P>When H is gone......what difference will there be for you really? Yes, he will not be in your face with this - but HE WILL BE GONE COMPLETELY!!!!<P>That will help you? That will satisfy you and free you? <P>I don't think so.......I think that this is going to keep you down for a very long time. UNLESS you do some work for yourself.<P>You know how to start......stop holding yourself back. It must be done - this healing and understanding - otherwise you will keep yourself in a hell of your own making. <P>You are stronger than that!!!! Believe in yourself and become who you can be.<P>BIG HUGS,<P>Sheba<P>