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#887569 09/25/00 04:34 PM
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Does anyone know much on this topic. Im wondering if this isnt what my H has. He can totally go off the deep end then a little latter call and apologize and act as if nothing is wrong. Hopefully someone can help me on this or steer me in the right direction to get me and him some help.<P>Thanks Michelle

#887570 09/26/00 09:51 AM
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T,<BR>I don't know too much about chemical imbalances but what you said sounds so familiar, I'd like to know more too! My h fits that picture, he is so nice and understanding one minute (this is the guy I love) and then the next he is so mean (a person I don't really know). This especially bothers me when he is dealing with his teenage sons who are losing respect for him.

#887571 09/26/00 04:31 PM
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Im trying to keep close to the top in case anyone can help me. Thanks I have a son and am worried about him in the future.

#887572 09/26/00 06:27 PM
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This is always a possibility. I think the only way to know for sure is to get a medical diagnosis. Chemical imbalances sure can make things "weird". If medication is all that is standing in the way of stability, what are you waiting for? Make that appointment! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

#887573 09/26/00 07:30 PM
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Do you know that some people claim that a MLC involves some hormonal imbalances! <P>Depression, which is also known to have some chemical origins, can also produce that behavior.<P>My H is the same way, btw. He was worse when this all started...but he still appears to be somewhat unbalanced.

#887574 09/28/00 10:21 AM
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My friend has chemical imbalances in that he lacks something in the brain and cannot lead a stressful life. He is on medication (don't know the details).

#887575 09/28/00 10:31 AM
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My H too has been suffering from what I have observed as depression. Depression is usually somethign that is hereditary. In his family his mother is taking medication for a chemical imbalance. His uncle is diagnosed with Bi Polar Disorder and his Great Aunt committed suicide because of a chemical imbalance. This is the most I know of it and would like to know more too because My H is not one that I believe would ever admitt that it may be a physical problem. He likes to blame things on his surroundings. Anyways Maybe there is a web site out there somewhere that someone knows about that would have some further information regarding this topic.

#887576 09/28/00 11:37 PM
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Im going to ask my counciler about this this evening and Ill let everyone know what is said.

#887577 09/28/00 03:15 PM
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I would suggest letting your husband see the counselor one-on-one, without you involved. It could be a chemical imbalance or something from his childhood. May or may not be abuse, but could very easily be stemming from a poor relationship with his father/mother when he was a child. <P>For whatever reason, he sounds to be full of pent up anger and frustration, someone needs to find out why and deal with it for everyone's sake and sanity.

#887578 09/28/00 03:32 PM
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I agree with still praying in relating it back to his childhood. He could have learned it from his parents...He could be dealing with many suppressed feelings that ultimately lead to a blow-up, or he could simply just not know how to deal with angry emotions and the adrenaline rush that accompanies frustrating situations. No matter what the case it will be great if he will develop a plan of action for dealingwith these moments. tessa<p>[This message has been edited by tessa (edited September 28, 2000).]

#887579 09/28/00 03:33 PM
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I would suggest letting your husband see the counselor one-on-one, without you involved. It could be a chemical imbalance or something from his childhood. May or may not be abuse, but could very easily be stemming from a poor relationship with his father/mother when he was a child. <P>For whatever reason, he sounds to be full of pent up anger and frustration, someone needs to find out why and deal with it for everyone's sake and sanity.

#887580 09/28/00 03:40 PM
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Something else I am reminded of is that angry outburst are frequently used as a means of controlling individuals and situations. I would hope the person would be doing it out of ignorance and not to intentionally control someone but it happens both ways. <P>Another angle would be to look into the persons daily sleeping and dietary habits.<BR>Do the eat healthy or go many hours without eating? How many hours of sleep is he getting? What medications (even OTC) do they consume regularly?<P>Anyway, just some food for thought....tessa<BR>

#887581 09/28/00 08:35 PM
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<BR>Read<BR> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5014_qa.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5014_qa.html</A>

#887582 09/29/00 02:04 PM
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That was a very good article by Dr. Harley. I am in the same boat but my H WILL NOT NO WAY NO HOW every think about going to a Dr. to get on an anti depressant. He is soo against taking "drugs" to feel better. Any suggestions there?

#887583 09/29/00 02:19 PM
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Kaw,<BR>Does your hubby think that he's depressed? If so, he needs to get to the bottom of it, and it may not require meds. There is both chemical and situational depressions, situational being more common and curable without drugs. He may not need to take anything and a simple lifestyle change may be all that's needed.

#887584 09/29/00 02:47 PM
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S.P.<P>To answer your question...Yes he agrees that he is depressed and I agree there are many many things from his past that need to be dealt with...he was given up for adoption at birth. He did not see his first daughter for the first 10 years of her life. He just met his birthmother and all of the family to go along with that. So many things have happened in these last two years but he was depressed periodically before all of this stuff happened recently. What do you suggest I do? He gets mad if I ask about it or want to talk about it...a big LB for him? I really am lost about it. Thanks

#887585 10/04/00 07:00 PM
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Sorry I have not gotten back to everyone. my counceler thinks he might have anxity attacks. Yes this does run in his family, But he has to ask for the help. and he thinks he has no problem. Everyone else thinks he does. He blames everyone one for everything. Boy dont you wich we could help them . If anyone knows of a good way to get them to realize they need help let me know.

#887586 10/04/00 08:09 PM
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Kaw,<P>Sorry, I forgot about this thread. <P>Depression is very similar to alcoholism in that you can't force anyone to seek help.<P>I would suggest trying to convince him to see someone for his own sake. Convince hin that just because it runs in his family, that you don't think that he's affected. That this may simply be a matter of diet or stress. That eating differently, taking vitamins, or dealing with everday stress differently may help him to feel better. Don't mention what you think it might be. Don't tell him that seeing someone will "fix" him as he doesn't think that he's broken. Maybe "depression" isn't the right word to use with him.<P>Sounds like alot has happened to him recently, quite possibly the resentment from his adoption has come back to the surface. He has alot of internal pain as to why his mother didn't love him enough to keep him, and now here she is back in his life. This would also explain some of his past bouts of depression as he's been living with this his entire life.<P>He may get upset when you talk about it as you are asking him to discuss a part of his emotions that he cannot control, no matter how hard he tries, and in talking about it he has to admit that he has no control.<P>I really can't honestly suggest how to handle this as it is a delicate subject that if handled improperly, will push any chance of him seeing someone farther off. I'd bury yourself in the web for answers. (notice the way I'm backing out of this one? [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] )<P>My wife is very depressed, if I ever get her to see someone, I'll start a thread!<P>Tessa,<BR>We are all a product of our environment, to a point, and often times people who are controlling are subconsciously making up for a lack of control that they had in their past.<P>[This message has been edited by Still Praying (edited October 04, 2000).]<p>[This message has been edited by Still Praying (edited October 04, 2000).]

#887587 10/07/00 05:40 PM
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Hi Tigger,<P>My H has a chemical imbalance in his brain and is currently being treated by a psychiatrist with several different medications. And, he's recently been diagnosed as hypoglycemic which can also affect behavior.<P>When my H began his affair, I knew that something was terribly wrong. Up until that point in time, we had been very, very close. Best friends. We never fought.<P>The way I approached this, is, I went to our family GP and explained the situation. Our doctor suggested that H have a complete physical. There are a multitude of medical illnesses/conditions that can manifest themselves as mental problems. So, H had a battery of tests done-- bloodwork, catscan, MRI, MRA, brainwave test, glucose tolerance test, etc. These tests were indicated because of his behavioral changes and the fact that he's had previous head trauma, including viral encephalitis.<P>Well, the end result, was, that he was referred to the psychiatrist. Now, I happen to know, that if I had suggested in the beginning that he see a psychiatrist, he would have fought me tooth and nail. I did casually mention it once, and he got very defensive and said, "Do you think I'm crazy?"<P>So, our family doctor referred him to a neurologist, and the neurologist referred him to the psychiatrist.<P>If your H hasn't had a complete physical lately, you might want to start there. And, have a consultation with the doctor beforehand and let him know how your H has been behaving recently.<P>

#887588 10/21/00 05:18 PM
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Hi Tigger, <P><BR> I usually talk to you on another site, but your topic caught my eye. The first thing to be done is for your husband to have a physical to rule out organic causes for his behavior. There is a condition called temporal lobe epilepsy that causes behaviors that you describe. There are many other medical conditions that can change a persons behavior, sometimes drasticaly. <BR> The emotional duress that WS's and BS's undergo in an A has been described as being very close to post-traumatic stress syndrome. A persons behavior can become eratic and volatile. I experienced some of this myself with my wifes' A. <BR> In situational depressions, medication may be necessary, but usually is not long term. Again, this is assuming there no underlying chronic medical or psychiatric problems.<BR> There is no shame in requiring<BR>antidepressant medication to get through a time of great emotional upheaval. They ar not a cure for emotional distress, they just help maintain some stabilty and clear thinking until the problems are dealt with and managed by the person. That is the long term cure.<BR>Hope this helps.<P> God bless you,<P>------------------<BR><P>Lynton

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