OK. Brief replay. Dday was 9-99. Affair resumed 7-00. My H is a truck driver, drives from Sacramento to Reno all week. Gone all week. Leaves on Sundays. Returns on Fridays usually. He calls me at noon on Friday, says that he'll call me at 6:00 am on Saturday morning to pick him up. My red flags went up, because we call each other all the time. He says he's going to have his phone turned off. He then called me at 11:00 p.m. to say hi. On the caller ID his cell phone number did not come up as usual, it just said "unknown caller". So now I'm really worried!! He calls me at 6:00 am to pick him up in Fresno. He was very, very loving, attentive, etc. all weekend. Problem is I found a motel room key in his pants pocket when doing the laundry. Would it be LB to tell him about it? Things are going well. All weekend he kept telling me not to worry about the OW, that I don't have any competition to worry about, etc. I mentioned to him several times that I wanted him to be honest and up front if and when he sees her because the not knowing and trying to figure things out drive me crazy. He said not to worry. What would you guys suggest?

Stella,<P>Are you out there? What did you decide to do? <P>All the best. --HBC

If he usually sleeps in his truck, then <BR>I agree with Sweetpea, go right to the source. <P>If it were me I'd place the motel key on the dinner table, night stand, or someplace he'd be sure to see it with you around. Then tell him (in my sweetest voice), "Honey, this motel key was in your pocket when I did the laundry." Express my insecurities and let him take it from there. <P>If nothing happened, he'll have a reasonable explanation. I guess you'll know if the explanation is believable or not because you know him best.<P>Let us know what you decided to do and how it went. Blessings, MT<BR><P>------------------<BR>True love cannot be found where it doesn't truly exist, <BR>nor can it be hidden where it truly is.

Hey guys!! Thanks for thinking of me....<P>I waited until I talked to him on Monday night. He was in Reno..in a very kind voice I said "Gee honey, did you sleep in a motel last week?" He said, "Yes, I did". I said, "Oh, what night was that" and he said he couldn't remember!!! Must have Alzheimer's! I let it drop at that point. Later in the conversation, he said that I sounded really tired and I replied that I was just kind of sad. He asked why and I said it was because he hadn't told me the truth....and then he said and what would the truth be? And I said that "you spent the night with her on Friday" He said that he was working on Friday. He just wouldn't admit it...then he proceeded to tell me how much he loves me etc and that I shouldn't worry. Oh well....I know the truth anyway. I'm just still hanging in there. Since then we have had several long talks, all good. Things are looking up all in all. <P>Thanks for your responses. This board is my lifesaver!!<P>

Wait Stella, I think I'm lost. How did you get from not knowing to figuring out he was with the OW on Friday night? Did she call, did something happen? Don't jump to conclusions, if it is going well it might really just be going well. <BR>Elizabeth

Elizabeth,<P>You're right....I have no proof positive that he was with her on Friday night, but I have learned the patterns of his affair and this falls right into it. But that is one reason why I decided not to make a major big deal out of it, I just really wanted to let him know that I know he got a motel. It is very, very unusual for him to do that without telling me. He usually sleeps in the truck and occassionally has asked if he should get a motel but in this case he kept it a big secret. And I called the OW's work and she has been on vacation....my gut tells me that he was with her.

Up to speed now, my gut is bad to me. Follow your heart - if you guys are talking and you are feeling love, trust that. Can you verify this for sure from OW when she gets back? If you are saying Friday and he knows it was Wed, he will know you are bluffing. Get some concrete stuff first.