Sweet,<P>I have been following your posts here and there. Cafe Wench needs to die!! And I mean that in the nicest possible way, now... <P>Anyway, what I wanted to ask you was about your old boyfriend paying you a visit. I'm kinda in a similar situation except I'm the boyfriend's (my H) wife. (not YOUR BF, of course) <P>It has been about two months or so, I suppose but H has recently gotten back in contact with one of his ex-girlfriends. He cared for her about as much as he cares for me, which I hate but what can ya do? Anyway, there is a chance that I may meet this chick someday and I wanted to know how your BF's wife handled the situation. Were there any bad vibes? Did she seem jealous? Did she give you the 'hands off my man' speech? What would you do if you had reason to believe that she really WAS jealous and was having a hard time handling this whole buddy-buddy thing?<P>And your BF, what is his motivation for still coming around you? Will you please tell me honestly if when you see him - are there any old sparky feelings that pop up? Are you still attracted to him? If so, how do you handle it? <P>As you can probably tell, this one has been driving me a little crazy. I have calmed down since H first told me about it and I don't think about it nearly as much. But... still... <P>If these are too many questions for you, that's ok, just let me know something, anything. Please be honest and don't try to phrase anything gently - I just want to know the truth about how your situation is. Just for insight. It will help me deal better and stop bugging my H about an hour long phone call and a couple of e-mails.<P>Thanks so much, and I wish you luck with Cafe Woman. and I wish you luck in your marriage.<P>Carrie

Sweet,<P>Thank you thank you thank you for taking the time to answer my goofy questions. <P>You and D go way back, I see. It's nice that the four of you are friends and that there are no bad feelings, I truly admire that. I am painfully aware that I still have a lot of growing up to do in regards to things like this. <P>I'm sure I can find the guts to be completely nice to her if I meet her, to just smile and be gracious, and try NOT to think how she once held my H's heart. Realizing what a first calss *ss I'll look like if I do anything BUT that is enough. I actually DID think about inviting her over but at the time I was 9 months pregnant, on bedrest, and looked and felt terrible. Plus I still have a good 10 LBS to lose... <P>I think when you care that much for someone, it doesn't just go away even if years have passed - you will always have a soft spot for them. H has taken the time to explain to me that what remains is friendship, nothing more. So, it's one of my missions as his wife to trust him. Besides I'm the one who screwed up in that arena, not him. Maybe that's why I'm so paranoid <P>The girl did just get married, and will be moving to another state soon, so that's a good thing in her life. <P>Ok, well, I have vented plenty on this board already about this subject and I don't want to get myself all fired up again, lol. It's not worth it. Plus, my H lurks like The Shadow and will read this and I don't want to embarrass myself any more than I have already. <P>Thanks again, Sweet. Keep putting plenty of coffee and tea in that thermos! <P>Love,<BR>Carrie