I tend to always post about H when he is in need of that old 2x4. As I sat and observed him last night, I decided that I really need to post the positive things he does. Yes, at times he is a jerk, but many others he is a wonderful man.<P>After the event of the weekend and then lunch yesterday here's what I come home to: H kissed me as soon as he walked in the door. Asked how my day was. Took care of our baby while I finished supper. We sat down and ate together, had a not very deep, but nice conversation. After supper he helped me with dishes and cleaning up the floor where our 1 year old puts most of her supper. H then played hide-and-seek with our oldest daughters. They had a wonderful time, and so did he. We put the baby to bed, the older girls went down stairs to watch a movie, we played cards, and had a good time. When we went to bed, he held me until I feel asleep.<P>This is a much more accurate portrayal of my H, then was Saturday night when he left me. He is a good man, I do want to be married to him, and I am happy. I guess the events of the weekend just wore me so far down, that I wasn't able to see how much good there is in this man I wanted to leave 2 days ago. I know somehow we need to figure out how to prevent things from going as far down hill as they did.<P>FHL, you are right. No one could replace him as a father. He is a wonderful father. No one could replace him as my H either. Do you really think I want to start all over with the 2x4/Clueless training? <P>------------------<BR>Shoni<P><BR>

Shoni,<BR>Yea!!! I'm so glad. From what I know (what you've told me) your H is a great guy...most of the time. You have come so far and its easy to feel like our situations are hopeless at times especially when you're in need of a good day and you aren't getting what you need. My H is a great guy too but some days I want to throw in the towel just because of the BIG mistake he made + the bad day we are having. It's very tiring and gets old. I keep looking for posts of survivors to give me hope. In the scheme of things, like I've told you before, we could have it worse. It would have been easier never to have to deal with all this BS BUT, if it makes a better, stronger marriage, someday (not today) I think it will be worth it. <P>I don't blame you for not wanting to start the 2X4/clueless training over again. They are almost all that way you know.<P>Keep your chin up!!

!!!<P>Shoni, that is true, isn't it! We post when we are frustrated - maybe instead of lovebusting?<P>For the most part, those days with my husband are as you described - but our children's ages are different and we don't play cards. But we do talk - talk about his job, my company, our future - but we get stumped sometimes if we are polarized on some issues - like steparenting - and extended families.<P>Thank God the Clinton infidelity is off the news now...<P>Shoni, thanks for the post. <P>I don't want to go through the 2x4/frying pan training again, and I think that Sheba and Butterfly are still estimating - for her 2x4/fryin' pan service - I probably can't really afford that anyway!!!!<P>God bless.

Shoni...yipee...yahoo...that's me dancing in the street for you! I think you got it!<P>I have always thought your problems were not the lack of love, but baggage and some poor communication.<P>Work on those things and you'll have great marriage.<P>Next time he's distant...don't personalize it..ask or ignore. Think of it as the man cave thing.<P>Learn and grow. You've got the right idea!<BR><P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

Oh No !!! I'm loosing customers already???? <P>Well, this business won't last too long if this is what happens!!! LOL!!!<P>Now Shoni - I did not even get to answer your last thread yet and now you've gone and spoiled everything I planned to write!!! LOL!!!!<P>I can think for this one pretty quick though!!!! YYYYYAAAAAAAAYYYYYY!!!!!<P>Dancing in the street with FHL!!!!!<P>You keep looking at him for the goodness that he has - don't just pick up the cluelessness........you wouldn't have married him without goodness - knew it had to be there!!<P>Keep this in mind for the next "clueless" events. And like FHL said - communication and what I put as "let out the trash" (old garbage of the past).<P>Good for you and we luv ya!!<P>Hugs, <P>Sheba

Shoni<BR>It sounds like you are working through some things for yourself. Good for You!!!<BR>Keep all those positives in a special place in your heart and mind!!!!

Hey, the mailman is looking at me funny. Guess he doesn't see many on his route dancing in the street!<P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

Shoni - How wonderful!!!!!! I am so happy you can see things from that angle too. Your H is much luckier than he can ever imagine...

How we look at our spouses makes all the difference in the world, whether betrayed or betrayer...<P>Thank you... wonderful post!

Hi Shoni -<P>You've been quiet....I miss you!!!<P>How was the weekend? Do anything of interest?<P>Just want to let you know that I'm thinking of you.<P>Hugs,<P>Sheba

Thanks for asking Sheba.<P>I've just been really busy at work lately and at home, well, I've got 3 kids!!! LOL<P>Things are going okay. Little ups and downs, but nothing real major over the weekend.<P>How have you been doing? I saw a couple of your posts, haven't had a chance to read them yet, but will do that now.<P>------------------<BR>Shoni<P><BR>

Hi Shoni<BR>I've been wondering about you too. I was thinking the other day about your very first post. I still rememeber that. My heart just bled for you because I could remember feeling that way.<BR>You know you really have come a long way!!!<BR>I hope you can feel that!

Hi Was,<P>I've been thinking about you too! I am sorry that your H has not yet realized the mistakes he is making. I wish there was something I could say, but I am at a loss. I am sad for you.<P>I too remember my first post. I felt so out of place here. YOU made me realize that just because my situation is different doesn't mean I don't feel the same pain as everyone else who is subjected to the pain of infidelity. And being here has helped me alot, especially the people like YOU! Thank-you.<P>------------------<BR>Shoni<P><BR>

Dear Shoni<BR>Don't be sad for me. I always land on my feet. I'm way too tough and ornry to let him and his bimbo beat me permanently.<BR>Hey I just went and bought a Whitesnake cd. My 16 year old will be fighting me for it.<BR>Smile!!!!!!!

Hi Shoni, Hi WS,<P>I am glad to hear from you!!!<P>Shoni -<P>I am glad that you found this site and are able to learn stuff on how to communicate in a marriage....stop thinking that you don't belong quite like the others.....I only wish I found it and knew all this stuff ten years ago, then I wouldn't be in this mess!!!<P>Take what you learn here and use it - your marriage and communication skills will prove so useful in your wonderful life that is ahead!!!<P>You know what else? Think of all the wonderful things that you can now teach your daughters about relationships and communication......They will be so secure with themselves and how to work out problems should any arise for them.<P>You are blessed!!!<P>And WS - You are wild!!! Whitesnake? The closest I get to "white" and "a creature" in music is the Beatles White Album!!!!!<P>Hugs,<P>Sheba