{Friends},<P>I know there is a new "general" update thread.<BR>…But I prefer to post this separate.<P>BTW: It's my one-year anniversary… <B>today</B>…<BR>…I joined MB September 27th 1999!<BR>…and 3,587 posts/replies later…<BR>…I'm still here!<BR>…and now I have 13 days to the divorce trial.<P>I haven't posted an update in a while, but so much is happening... it makes my head spin a bit.<P>For those who don't know my story...<BR>...check out <A HREF="http://pages.ivillage.com/re/mb_nsr/MB_RCI.html" TARGET=_blank>Roll Call Index</A>...<BR>...and you can check out other's stories as well... <P>Here goes…<P>1. The conflict from my stepson (rebellious teenager) is ever increasing…<BR>- he will not take any medication for is ADHD (even though he asked to be put on it)<BR>- he will not take any ant-depressant medication (claims loss of appetite)<BR>- he will not go for any alternatives for either medication<BR>- he will not see the psychologist anymore<BR>- he will not get a job (yes… he's been 18yo since July)<BR>- he still buys into everything his mother is telling (about his biological father)<BR>- NOW my W is telling him that his bio-F is a convicted felon (WOW… what a lie!)<BR>- And I have all his SSA money(WOW again!)<P>2. My W is still stubborn about visitation schedules…<BR>- I have to beg her to take the kids (prior to this weekend it was 4 weeks ago she took them)<BR>- she finally took them this past week<BR>- she keeps them up past 11:30 PM or 12:00 AM (8 and 11 year olds), and when they come back 9 PM on Sundays they are exhausted and angry… Too much sleep deprivation!<P>3. I got (most of) the bank records for how she was <B>mis</B>handling my stepson's SSA benefits (bio-father's injury.) She has clearly been siphoning off money… sometimes in several large amounts e.g. $1,700+ for no apparent reason. My attorney is to subpoena the SSA for reports of how she allegedly spent this money.<P>4. Here's something new…<BR>- W is now dissatisfied with the job she's had for almost 12 months now<BR>- OM has now taken on a new position, in the union ranks, where most of his time he is now at the state capital…<BR>- if my W and OM move there to be closer to his work (since she isn't satisfied where she works)… instead of a 90 minute one-way drive to visit the kids… it will be a 3½ hour one-way drive.. (WOW!)<P>5. I just got back from my attorney… here's his low-down…<BR>- She still hasn't filed the "Notice to Produce"… so she might not be able to testify in court<BR>- There is a historic record in our county of a 35%-40% of trial postponements <BR>- But it will most likely <B>not</B> be a 2 month postponement <BR>- My attorney will send her attorney a scathing letter about how she is disrupting the family life of all the children with late nights and my liabling(?sp) my stepson's bio-father.<BR>- Even if everything goes well… the divorce will not be final for at least 4-6 weeks! <P><BR>That's that…<P>I'm surviving…<BR>…and hope (when all this cools off)… I'll be able to offer more help…<P>I know that with all these little challenges, I haven't been able to post/reply as often as I would like… but I just know things will change! <P>Jim<p>[This message has been edited by NSR (edited September 27, 2000).]

((((((((JIM))))))))<P>You have dealt with everything handed to you with the most class anyone could. Your head should be held high. I wish the best to you.<P>I have only been on the board for 7 months, but your support the board is great and to give some suppport back to you is my honor.<P>Best wishes,<P>Judy

Hi Jim,<P>I've seen you welcome and support others so much and I can't believe what you are going through. You are a rock!<P>I'll be praying that things go well for you.<P><P>------------------<BR>Love and Prayers,<BR>KristyAnn

Jim,<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><BR>- he will not take any medication for is ADHD (even though he asked to be put on it)<BR>- he will not take any ant-depressant medication (claims loss of appetite)<BR>- he will not go for any alternatives for either medication<BR>- he will not see the psychologist anymore<BR>- he will not get a job (yes… he's been 18yo since July)<BR><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>As the parent of a ADHD 18yo, all I can say is "I know exactly what you mean". fortuantely things are starting to go well for my son,so anti-depressants aren't necessary, he seems to have learned enough behaviors that Ritalin doesn't seem to be necessary for him anymore (Ironically, my Dr put ME on Ritalin). I haven't noticed a difference in him since he stopped taking it. I tried several times to get him into counseling and he flat out refused. Frotunately, after the move last year, he's beginning to adjust and is getting a social life (for the first time ever), so overall he's doing well.<P>I think all you can do to combat the lies your W is telling him is to present him with the facts and let him draw his own conclusions. Once he sees the lies for what they are about the SSA money he will question what she says about everything else, too. It will be tough for him though. He WANTS to believe his mother.

Jim {{{{{{{{{hugs to you}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>You have hugged me when I was down. I don't know if you realize how much your strength and faith has been an inspiration to me.<P>Whatever happens... You are doing "the right thing".....

Jim,<BR>It is difficult to go thru rejection of spouse,a divorce,and to be a single parent to a "rebellious teenager"(I have 2 teens).<BR>Just wanted you to know that I have no great wisdom,but as always, offering my support and prayers for you and your family. beth

jim, <P>you are so strong to be going through all of this and helping all of us. thank you for the many times that you have posted to me and others. i will be praying for you and your children.<P>cleo

Jim,<P>All I can say is I love you, brother. Still praying for you.<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR><P>May the roads rise to meet you,<BR>May the winds always be at your back,<BR>May the sun shine warm upon your face,<BR>The rains fall soft upon your fields,<BR>And until we meet again,<BR>May god hold you<BR>In the hollow of his hand.

Hi Jim,<P>I've been wondering how things were going with you. I truly admire your strength and faith, and believe that in time you will see rewards for the way you have handled this mess.<P>You have been a MBer for one year today, and I have known about firestorm's affair for one year today. I am thankful everyday that I found this place and people like you.<P>Best wishes to you,<P>Peppermint

Jim,<P>Your title inspired my post.<P>You've been through so much, learned so much, done so much...<P>That too is part of the year...<P>You are living your faith in front of us all...<P>

Flog me Jim, I'm lurking again... Gee whiz!<P>Respect you to pieces, love you like a cyber-brother, hold you up in prayer!!<P>Hugs, Sheryl

I have never "talked" to you before, but I read all that you write. What a wise man you are--and what courage you have.<P>Your children have an excellent role model in you, and they are some lucky kids.

You have given a lot of hurting people much information and suggestions despite your own very acute problems. That is very generous, kind, and courageous.<P>My best wishes to you and your children.

<small>[ February 08, 2005, 08:16 PM: Message edited by: hanora ]</small>

Jim,<P>Seldom do I encounter compassionate people such as yourself. You are obviously in touch with what is important in life and have held your head high.<P>We all know it's not easy being rejected by our spouses; you have your children and that has got to be a God send.<P>People like you will come out on top when the dust settles. Peace of mind be with you Kind Jim!!!<P>Jay B.

Best to you {{{Jim}}}! --HBC