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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 13
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 13 |
I feel like things are going to work out for us (with the Lords help), but I still feel like he broke the vow that was passed on with that ring and to me it is meaningless and will not wear it..If our marriage means that much to him (as he says) then he will get me another one and not break the vow passed on when he puts it on my finger - I am asking too much!!!!????<P><BR>------------------<BR>"So much to lose, yet so much pain"....Hurt4life in VA.<P>IP<BR>
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Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 1,743
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Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 1,743 |
maybe this is to simplistic but, you kept your vows and you alwyas wanted to be married right? It's just a ring. keep it and make everything else new.<P>cleo
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 469
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 469 |
hurt4life:<P>It depends on your point of view. I am the BS and I have never taken my ring off. Except the time I threw it at my husband, but it went back on. <P>My point is the ring isn't the marriage but a symbol of marriage. I don't want another ring because this is the one my husband picked out. Vows were broken that is correct, and when your were married you were given your ring. But to me that was a token. We had our rings cleaned to start fresh again once my husband truly committed to our marriage. I don't feel like that the ring is a damaged goods.<P>Best wishes,<BR>Judy<BR>
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 26
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 26 |
Er, I crushed my ring with a pliers and tossed it at her. She saved it anyway, gave it to me recently. Threw it in my drawer. Will probably melt it down and keep the small nugget as a reminder.<BR>We plan to eventually renew our vows. When we do, she'll be getting me a new ring.<P>------------------<BR>*************************<BR>Thronx - one of the statistics....<BR>*************************<p>[This message has been edited by Thronx (edited October 06, 2000).]
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 30
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 30 |
I may not be a good person to speak since I am not dealing with betrayal however, I know that the ring we were married in is the ring that was blessed. It was "with THIS ring..." and it has always been the most meaningful symbol of our marriage. My husband lost his ring a month after we married and I was devastated. He had the Army out looking for it (literally) I cringe every time I see it off his hand. It's always a sense of comfort to me. The sun catches it and I can always spot it even from a far. It's our connection. God forbid we were to ever have to experience what you have but upon reconciliation it would be my original rings that I would be wearing.<BR>Even the anniversary band I received does not replace my original rings. It's worn on the other hand.
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 101
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 101 |
The night we had our big fight (Posted on Conflict board. Too detailed for here.) H pulled his ring off and said we were through. He was going to flush it down the toilet. I just told him to do whatever he wanted, but if he didn't want it, I would take it. He threw it at me, and I put it in my jewelry box. I told him it would be there waiting for him to come back to his right mind, just like I was. When I came home from my business trip, he was wearing it again. <BR>Now, I'm the one not sure about our marriage, but I keep my ring on. I don't feel right without it.
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Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 190
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Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 190 |
H4L:<P>I took my rings off when I found out about my H's affair. After we decided to reconcile, about a month after, I put them back on again. We just recently renewed our vows at the end of September and we bought new bands to exchange. We wear them on our other hand. <BR>
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 183
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 183 |
hurt4life,<P>If the ring is that important to you, then I think your H should consider replacing it, or perhaps adding a diamond or something to it as a symbol/gesture.<P>My H keeps telling me "it's not like someone died". Well, to me it is, my H who had never cheated on me is dead and gone and I'm grieving terribly for him. When we make it through this, we will renew our vows. It's only a symbol/gesture, but I'll once again have a husband who hadn't cheated on me.
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