Here's your night owl reporting in...<P>H is on a four day golf trip, oh how sad! Poor baby!!!<P>This trip is on the up and up, so I'm really not worried that SHE will accompany him. This is one of his dealers yearly trips and they know me and look out for me.<P>Before he left today I handed him my letter critiquing his letter to her and ask if he could please get this ready to be mailed, asap. He did !!!<P>It's about as good as it's gonna get and I didn't have the heart to tell him I didn't like it, because, actually it addresses everything I thought it should and all in all I'm pleased with it. I won't post it b/c it takes too long to transcribe. But trust me, I thought it was good. Very much to the point and persistence prevailed that she not contact him ever. <P>I really wanted him to blubber on about me, but, Hey, sometimes you gotta take what you can get.<P>I also did this strange thing today, and I know I really should leave it alone. I got out the dog-eared calendar I kept while he was gone and totaled up the actual days that he didn't stay here. Out of 31 days in July he stayed here 6 days, Out of 31 days in August he stayed here 14 days, Out of 30 days in September he stayed here 6 days, and out of 31 days in October he stayed here 22 days. He moved home and then out again at least once each month, twice in September. So, out of the 123 days he was gone, he stayed here with me 35 days, 88 days he was unaccounted for, but I know for a fact that he was not with her for all of those 88 days, alot, but not all. <P>Does this sound like someone who wants to end his marriage because he loves her and not me?<P>Moving home in Oct., physically, mentally and physically in Nov. It was touch and go for a long time after he came home. But adding up these days somehow made me realize how truly unimportant she was to him and that she was indeed filling a void or need that I was not meeting, but the needs I was fulfilling were far greater than those she was filling.<P>I know this is really neither here nor there, just one of those dumb bunny obssessive things I do every now and then, to make me feel better. Always measuring and trying to convince myself that I am better than she and he loves me.<P>He does love me, he told me before he left today that he loves me and always has and I responded "I know you do!" <P>Anyway the letter is good, I will mail it tomorrow "special delivery" secured and all that. I want to make sure she gets it.<P>Love to you all,<BR>Cathy<p>[This message has been edited by Catplay (edited September 29, 2000).]
