Hello,<BR>This may sound crazy but my h just called and said he'll come and get the kids and take them somewhere so that I can have some time to maybe go visit my father (hospital) or just come home. I feel like crying my eyes out. For a while I have been trying to explaing to him that I need us to spend time together. I've talked that recreational stuff in the ground but I am getting the wrong results.<P>Why does that bother me so bad? He's going to take them to his bosses house for an evening of fun. They'll get to ride horses and play with his bosses children, etc. Why didn't he invite me? What am I doing wrong?

Hi BB33,<P>Here's a {{{{{{hug}}}}}} for ya! It sounds like your H was trying to give you some time to do something for yourself. He may be thinking that you've been going through a lot lately, and thought taking the kids for awhile would be helpful to you. He's trying to be thoughtful, it seems.<P>If you want to join them, ask if you could go along. Or, if you're not comfortable asking see if you can find someone to take the kids in the evening and make a special dinner for just the two of you. In other words, you create the opportunity for time with him, instead of waiting for him to initiate it.<P>C'mon, Hon, you can do this! Blessings, MT<P><P>------------------<BR>True love cannot be found where it doesn't truly exist, <BR>nor can it be hidden where it truly is.

You feel like crying because it hurts like hell to be excluded from what should be a family event. You feel like crying because that is something you should be doing with your husband and children. You feel like crying because while, having a little time to yourself should sound wonderful, it just makes you feel alone.<P>I know, I've faced it again and again since my H left. He takes the kids places, and I'd love to go...I did invite myself to quite a few places, but it was a mistake. He resented me going. <P>It's tough to be home alone, even for a few hours. All you can do is hope that somewhere deep inside your husband is also wondering what the hell he is doing there without you. <BR>Come here and write, go out to the bookstore, mall, anywhere if you have to. Give him the time to sort it out. If he's not agreeable to spending family time together, there is nothing you can do about it. The more I push my husband the worse he gets. You know, men like to have things be their ideas...sorry guys, but it's true. Don't be the pursuer. He knows you love him.<P>Sorry hon, I know how damn hard this is.<P>allison

.<p>[This message has been edited by Trapped Mom (edited March 20, 2001).]

Thank you for responding to my post. I was very disappointed to be left out. When he came home I told him that I was hoping that we could go somewhere and that I didn't want to go to the hospital or stay home. He did eventually invite me along on their outing and I made it as pleasant as I could.<P>I know he was trying to give me some time but I want time with him. We're lucky to see one another an hour an evening. Seems like this week I've gotten about 15 minutes a night. Thank you all for sharing with me and helping me to not feel so alone. bb