Well, I had a great weekend with H. Lots of good talking and he actually made a commitment to our marriage!!<P>Question though that I need help with. If you know my situation, H is a truck driver and comes home on Fridays usually. This Thursday evening I started getting hang up phone calls. They continued Friday evening also. I picked H up at 6:30 p.m. on Friday evening. He obviously has cut off contact with OW and she is calling the house hoping that he'll answer. (And then of course she turns on the tears and he always falls for it) But we went to bed Friday evening and didn't answer the phone anymore. I told H that we were getting hang ups but didn't tell him my suspcions that it was OW. Soooo to make a long story shorter, our 19 year old son had friends over Friday night and he kept answering the phone. Finally in frustation, he yelled at the hangerupper to stop f---ing calling the house and she called him an *******. I have this on tape and it is definitely the OW. I am now angry that she did this. My H doesn't know about the phone recorder......but I want to tell him about this. Should I?? I can tell him that it has to be her, as our son said it was an adult female with a hispanic accent. But I really don't want to give him an excuse to contact her. It makes me angry that she would say something to our son because she was the one harassing us. And in the past my H has always been accusing me of doing things like that to her!!! He would tell me things like "she's really pissed off", etc. Well, now I'm pissed off. Should I say something or just let it go?

Stella,<BR>That's good news about your H! <P>I think I'd have the H listen to the tape. Part of the 4 rules of successful marriage is honestly--do you want to be keeping secrets? He'd definitely know if it was her. Then sit down together and decide how to handle it--perhaps he makes a phone call to her with you present. Or you just continue to quietly hang up the phone when no one answers.<P>If he hasn't sent a "no contact" letter this is the time. It can be pretty tough for the OP to see an short, abrupt word-for-word Harley no contact letter. My H's OW immediately emailed him.<P>------------------<BR>Lor<BR>"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."<BR>(Proverbs 15:1).

Lor,<P>Thanks for your response...I was starting to feel lonely.<P>I was honest with H about the phone calls today. He got upset with me!! Says he knows I call her and hang up too!! (I have occassionally). i was honest about that with him. After I hung up with him (this was during my lunch hour, I go home for lunch) I received another hang up call. Soooo, I called the pay phone that the OW usually calls him from and the line was busy (imagine that!). So I called his cell phone and it was busy also. What a coincidence! I left him an angry voice mail. I told him that I was tired of him coming to her defense etc. He called me back and said that maybe I should get myself some help. He said "Don't piss me off" etc, etc. Sooo after that I had a really depressed weekend. Basically, the message I got from him was that when I get angry I should just keep it to myself. Tell me is that what Plan A would want me to do? I suppose I LB's big time, but I didn't choose to have this broad in my life, he chose to have her in his and I'm tired.

Awww honey, hang ups when you know who it is really suck. We have had them here too. Agreed, no contact letter is in order. But, you can tell him how you feel without doing the LB thing. Keep it on you. I FEEL, I THINK, I WANT, I NEED. No you feel, you are, you keep, you always stuff. My dad is a big ole successful business guy and he says "Little one, if I can teach you one thing it is that people will respond to you much better in business and in life when you ask for help instead of making demands." Ask him for help in getting through this. Don't let her be the cute little damsel in distress! Don't hang up on her anymore and tell him and promise him you won't. You don't want to be like her. When you get angry don't keep it in, vent to a friend or here or somewhere else. Tell him you are feeling lonely/hurt/sad/whatever. But do it as non-threatening as possible. It sounds like he needs to be needed. Give him the chance to love you a little if you can. We all get tired. I know. It really is the pits. Take a vitamin and a hot bath, beat up a pillow, take a nap. It gets better.