The one year anniversary of d-day is coming up over Thanksgiving Weekend. I have an opportunity to take a few extra days off, totalling 5 days off in a row (I have to let them know this week). However, I need some good ideas on how to spend those 5 days.<P>Here's the situation: I live in a very rural area of the Big Island on 15 acres of old sugar-cane land. There aren't any neighbors for acres around and it's very quiet, and very relaxing. I would really, really just love to stay home, sleep in, relax, putter around, read, cook a turkey, walk the dogs, etc. But I'm afraid I might get in a funk thinking about the events of a year ago. I don't have kids. I don't mind being alone...that doesn't bother me, in fact I love it....it's just that I don't want to *dwell* on last year. And I really want to relax.<P>Going to a hotel or b/b isn't really an option, as all the hotels here (Hawaii) are geared toward tourists and really expensive. Plus I don't really relax at hotels...my home is just too darn relaxing.<P>(Also, right now, I don't have any very close friends who don't have kids, etc. that I can just hang with. My H was my best friend. Bummer yes, and some day I'll get more friends, but too hard right now. There is one couple - neighbors - who I get along great with....I may want to include them in on some of these activities. I'm such an intoverted person by nature, so relaxing to me means alone time....)<P>I know others have gone thru these times and just wondered if there were some really good ideas on what to do. Here are some of my thoughts:<P>1) Stay home, sleep in, putter around, walk the dogs, cook turkey, read, etc.<P>2) Ask a massage therapist to visit me 2 or 3 times during those days....expensive, but more worth it to me than a hotel. It would be so grand to get a massage in my own living room, overlooking the blue pacific ocean, listening to my own music. And there is a massage therapist in our little (and I mean little) town. Handy, huh?<P>3) Go to the movies....maybe one night...maybe two. Even go out to dinner.<P>4) Go to the beach one day....maybe even take the dogs, although that can get hairy.<P>So, what are other ideas?? Things I can do at home....or in a very, very little town (23 miles away). I guess maybe I'm looking for very loose structure during that time, so it's not just walking around the house stairing at the walls.... <P>Thanks and suggest anything....I may not do it all, but no idea is too far fetched for me.<P>Aloha,<BR>Mrs.O<P>P.S. My 12th Anniversary is coming up in October too. I actually think I'll make it thru that day and have decided to just send my H a nice "thinking of you" card. Any ideas on this are welcome too.<BR>

Hi MrsO:<P>How about trading places for Thanksgiving? You could sit around my place for a "big" change...to the left are my neighbors the teenagers and their car shop...to the left the lonely divorcee who lives by himself and ogles me every time I come outside.<P>You could attend the family festivities at my H's sister's (unfortunitely you'll have to put up with H); there's sure to be lots of people and good food to eat. Be sure you brush up on your best jokes and one-liners.<P>You could borrow my kids for a while...believe me it would only be for a while...they have nothing but problems for you to solve...keep you busy for guite a while. Heck, you'd probably be ready to go home.<BR> <BR>Seriously, after all this time I don't even remember when D-day was in my case...so I don't have any problem with handling it.<BR>But I have problems with right now and find that the best solution is having people around to distract you as much as possible.<P>I enjoy being alone too, so I understand that feeling of withdrawal from the world that revives and refreshes one's soul.<BR>But there are times when people and things are more of a comfort...for the feeling of <BR>continuity and commonality with the world that they bring to us.<P>But if you must be alone, then is there something you would like to do that you have never done? Well, what a good time to do it.<BR>I myself am a computer nut so I trying to learn some new computer programing online. Anything that keeps my mind functioning and expanding seems to keep those unwelcome thoughts from coming up as often. <P>Alone or with friends, this will only be a bad time if you let it be. Stay positive and try not to dwell on what was, but on what will be.<P>Faye<BR><p>[This message has been edited by buffy (edited October 03, 2000).]

Oh wow, what an opportunity to chill out, five days in a tropical paradise! How I envy you, having been there and done that myself. When I lived on Guam I craved the days I could spend alone. I would get up early and watch the sun come up over the ocean. Just to feel the warmth on my skin as it did. I would walk alone on the beach really looking down at everything that was washing in and out with the waves. It always amazed me how much a beach could change overnight. Sometimes I would take a picnic basket and cook breakfast right on the beach. If I didn't have to work I would usually go back and catch a little nap. After a nice snooze I would often go back to a diferent beach and set up in a cabana and then snorkel for a couple of hours. To lay facedown in that cystal clear water and watch the goings on in the underwater world beneath you while the waves gently push you up and down was so very therapeutic to me. And oh yes the sunsets. How I would completly lose myself in those bright absolutely striking sunsets. <P>I would go with your option 1 and if I started getting in a funk I would go for a long walk. Let that warm tropical breeze caress your skin, wiggle your toes down into the cool sand on the beach, feel the sun warm your whole body, focus on a sea bird gliding on a thermal. The older I get the more I believe: Simple pleasures are the best<P>God I feel better just writing that stuff down.......you, you lucky dog........you get to do it!!<BR>

Hi Mrs. O!<P>Gosh, what a great setting to be in! Do you like to read? Get a couple of great books to read, sit outside in the nice warm sunshine and read a book, and when you pause to think something over, you can do so by looking over that wonderful Pacific Ocean!<P>Do you horseback ride? Maybe a couple of hours of horseback riding either around your property or around your very small town would be fun. <P>I like the walking the dogs. That is always fun. <P>If you don't particularly want to be alone one night, throw a dinner party and invite your closest friends and neighbors. <P>The massage thing sounds wonderful too! Boy would I love that. Sounds like you have some great ideas that you're starting off with. Hopefully, someone will come along and have something really unique to do!<P>Good luck! You'll have to let us know what you decide to do!<P>--purplemag