Never mind.<p>[This message has been edited by Rocket (edited October 06, 2000).]

Oh and one more thing, the "memories" that keep coming back to me and make me the maddest are:<P>1) When I found out, I called her and let her have it. But he later told me that when she confronted him about how I knew, he didn't want her to think he was "stupid" for<BR>leaving the receipt out. RAGE RAGE RAGE<BR>To this day that ticks me off, he was worried what she thought? GRRRRRRR<P>2) When I asked if he loved her, he said Yes, No, I don't know. GRRRRRRRR. I should have pushed that one. Is he only with me cause it was easier to stay? Did he love her? Hell, I don't want to be 2nd choice.<BR>That is somehow bubbling to the surface of my brain.<P>3) HE FELT SORRY FOR HER----that is what gets me the most. My beloved father dies, and he goes and has an affair. Then he told me that he felt sorry for her cause she was the child of divorce...blah blah.<P>Please help me. I am going crazy. My poor husband is getting beat on for a 10 year old issue. An issue that has not been brought up for years. <P>Am I going crazy?<P>Lord how I wish the internet was available back then.

I'm not the best one to answer, but all those things he did that seemed so stupid and thoughtless are typical of what the cheating spouse is doing. They are not thinking straight. I'll assume you've read other stories on this site, and if you haven't, you should. The things that get said when someone is having an affair are absolutely insane. You can certainly vent on her about how you are feeling, and you could also buy some books, like Surviving An Affair, His Needs/Her Needs, etc.<P>You could always just be honest with him and tell him how you are feeling. Something coming up from the past isn't so rare. And about him saying he did love her (but maybe no), the usual statements in an affair are that they are definitely "in love". My wife currently thinks that in her head. If you read the SAA book, it talks about that. It is hard to stomach, but it is all part of the fantasy.<P>Good luck.

I went and read lots of posts and realized how selfish and immature I sounded.<P>So many of you are suffering and in the bulleyes of these cruel affairs and I am upset about something that happend so many years ago, and apparently is supposed to be dealt with. He stayed, his ashamed attitude everytime I beat him over the head with it, is sincere. <P>I am the problem now. After 10 years the insecurities are rearing their ugly head and I have to learn to deal with them.<P>I am going to point blank tell him what is going on and see what happens. See, I was afraid to "rock the boat" when thing were so good. After reading so many stories, it is obvious that I/we never worked this through. <BR>We sorta swept it under the rug and went on with life. Well, I guess it's time to face the issue and deal with it once and for all.<P>To all of you, I will pray that each of you find peace and love, we all deserve it!!<P>Best wishes.