Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 2 of 4 1 2 3 4
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 524
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 524
Oh, I want to add, I don't think she faked her O's with my H, he said it was very easy to please her, (slut), anyway, I think that could be part of my problem, I think he will have to work too hard to please me so I give up.<P>My kegel muscles are GGGGreat! Don't have any problems with the big squeeze job!<P>Cathy

Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 123
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 123
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Catplay:<BR><B>I think I'll call my H to come home or take a cold shower with Joe Tex.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Ummm, thats how people wind up on this site in the first place. LOL<P><BR> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Bozos_ Deb:<BR><B> Thank heavens I'm on serazone now !<BR></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Serazone ROCKS! I feel like I'm 18 again. Constantly!!! Woohoo!

Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 399
K
Member
Offline
Member
K
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 399
I started exploring my body at age 10 or 11 and though at that age I didn't know what it was called, it was such an incredible feeling!<P>I fit into the "most women" category and need to have manual stimulation to O. I didn't start consistently having O's during sex until I was in my early 30s. But my H was great at making sure I got the stimulation I needed and I could O 100% of the time. I can get there fairly quickly, but enjoy putting it off for a while. <P>Another interesting thing worth noting: I've experienced the equivalent of a man's "wet dream" a couple dozen times in my life. I'll be having some sort of erotic dream and the next thing I know, I wake up having a mind-blowing O. No touching, just dream stimulation. Any other women have this happen? <P>When I was younger I used to fake it because I was embarrassed to admit that I needed manual stimulation. And, yes, it is very easy to fake. Just add a few rythmic contractions to Meg Ryan's act in When Harry Met Sally and "ta da". I never fake now -- don't want to, don't need to.<P>KristyAnn

Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 1,579
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 1,579
I'm with Kathi, except it didn't start until last year right around d-day, and I was 38. (I've had orgasms, but not every time with intercourse.) Somewhere on this site, Harley has an article about couples learning to help the woman get there. Slow ones are good, but it's hard to make them the norm, especially with all the demands of life and two small kids. Now, we can enjoy quickies even when they're watching tv in the other room.<P>For years I bought the idea that women had to have some other stimulation and the one that it was "normal" to only have the "os" at certain times of the month. The guy of Mars and Venus fame among others teaches this stuff.<P>So why now is it all working for me? I think several things converged. H had renewed confidence in himself. (Even if we wiggle etc, there has to be a hard ummm there). And I had nothing left to lose. I was no longer self conscious and for once I was looking only for my pleasure, rather than wanting to please him.<P>The surprise to me was that this was the highest pleasure to him, to give and give to me.<P>So now I'm embarrassed, but I think this is a very important topic. One thing h said that hurt at the time but I took to heart was that OW really knew how to move and enjoy herself. Just like Kathi said...<P><p>[This message has been edited by schizzo (edited October 10, 2000).]

Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 43
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 43
Can't help chiming in. Don't remember first orgasm -- 15 or 16, I think. First intercourse was just before 18th birthday. By 20, yes almost every time, _without_ manual or oral assistance, yes lots of moving around, yes quickly sometimes (had to make effort to wait for _him_), within moments would be a possibility definitely if already aroused when the action starts, and yes, even if it hurts, after a few moments the pain gets blocked by the arousal. <P>True, faking is easy and all the authorities say most women need manual or oral stimulation, but pressure works too and depending on how the people fit together, it can work with just intercourse. For me.<P>(Written with red face -- hard to tell the world about this kind of stuff!)

Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 3,901
D
Member
Offline
Member
D
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 3,901
You know, this conversation seems silly. I know when my wife does and she doesn't. Rarely in our marriage has she just said, "I don't think I can."<P>As far as "at the same time" issue - how often does that happen? Sure occassionally. But many times it is a give and take proposition.<P>It seems awfully extreme for a woman to fake it to that point!

Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 3,901
D
Member
Offline
Member
D
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 3,901
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Bozos_ Deb:<BR><B><BR>Most women can clench and unclendch the muscles in the vigina. <BR></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><BR>I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about the vague little rythmic ones that you can barely feel. I'm not talking about clamping down. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P><BR>

Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 183
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 183
Well, for me, as a teenager with less experience I was able to O a lot faster and without anything but intercourse, lots of teens don't seem to understand the concept of foreplay. Then again, some grown men don't either. lol<P>So if this girl is young it may be easier for her to O quicker and everytime simply because she doesn't know there's supposed to be more. Also she was doing the forbidden which can make it much more interesting. I'm sure she was under the impression that she was something special instead of what she really was, a cheap replacement.<P>H says the OW (18) was alway ready and didn't need any foreplay, no wonder he enjoyed it. I didn't either back then, had no clue as to what in the heck I was doing.<P>Also remember she didn't have to worry about all the stresses you do in a long-term relationship complicated by things such as kids, bills, and a past between them that may not have been that rosy.

Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 524
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 524
Sorry Joe in Tx. No harm meant and certainly not a come-on... you're too far away anyway....I was just kidding, who needs that situation, I have enough to deal with.<P>Schiz were you referring to me or to Kathi with a K?<BR> And what is serazone?<BR>Cathy

Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 2,260
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 2,260
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Dogbert:<BR><B>You know, this conversation seems silly. </B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I don't think so. This isn't about you being able to tell about your wife getting there, or if you think faking it is extreme. A betrayed wife is asking a question (very valid) about sexual function. Men are able to orgasm much easier than women, so maybe you don't understand the frustration women experience or how it feels to be told that the OW was all over his stuff with a big ole smile all the time. If you know your wife well and are sensitive to her needs good for you, and you are probably not in the average range for husbands. I think (tell me if I am wrong) many of the women here have experienced the same question about the OW and the relations our husbands have had with her. We are looking for a bit of information and validation here, and I must say I was really relieved to hear that someone had the same ? I had about the A. That is what this place is for right? Support, validation, information, and maybe a little hope. H and I had a great talk this morning about the whole faking it issue. <BR>

Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 1,579
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 1,579
Kathi with a K, about having Os every time and not needing a big warm up.

Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 11
F
Junior Member
Offline
Junior Member
F
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 11
hi, i am a 30 yr old female who didn't get there til i was 28. by this time, i had been married for 10 yrs. i always thought that what i felt during lovemaking was as good as it was gonna get. but when i discovered what it could feel like, i couldn't wait to have one everyday with my husband.<P>but i agree with some of the other posts. having a real orgasm can takes minutes, or it can be prolonged. but also like the posts read, i do not believe that the ow only has them through intercourse. <P>there has to be penetration and stimulation from other sources to other places on your body.<P>women will understand this comment.<P>now you can laugh cause the ow is lying...<BR>

Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 123
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 123
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Catplay:<BR><B> And what is serazone?<BR>Cathy</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>It is one of the newer anti-depressants that, unlike some others, does not interfer with the libdo or cause anorgasma.

Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 524
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 524
You know this question is coming... What is anorgasma? Is orgasm in there somewhere?

Joined: May 1999
Posts: 3,369
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: May 1999
Posts: 3,369
Hot Topic!<P>I hate to think about what my husband did with someone else...and the results of that affair is a child. I also know more about what they did, what it was like and how, what, where and a lot more than I should know. But, I do know that she had to bring herself to O because she was unable to do so through ordinary intercourse. He also said she was a log...unresponsive and unenthused.<P>I have always been extremely orgasmic and have always experienced O without a lot of fanfare or sexual gymnastics, because for me, sex is in the head, the eroticism, the emotions and the mutual attraction. Pretty heady stuff. Especially when you can see your spouse's soul in their eyes, fingers entwined and the words...<P>The huge difference I notice since the affair is that I am plagued with self-doubts I never had before. Maybe she was a log, maybe she was unresponsive, but my husband chose to do her a few times instead of being with me...sort of like driving a Yugo when you have a Jaguar in the garage. The Yugo may have been newer, but the Jaguar was vintage....<P>Why he went back another few times, I will never know. Now we have child support for the next twenty years. Ugh. Must have been some kind of chemical draw towards her because she was dropping eggs like a hen and he felt the pull to fertilize. Biology, animal instincts, I guess.<P>Catnip =^^=<p>[This message has been edited by catnip (edited October 10, 2000).]

Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 123
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 123
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Catplay:<BR><B>You know this question is coming... What is anorgasma? Is orgasm in there somewhere?</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P><BR>Inability to reach the big O because of dificulty in maintaining and aroused state.<BR><p>[This message has been edited by Joe in TX (edited October 10, 2000).]

Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 183
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 183
Oh, catnip, you hit the nail on the head!!! When H and I are making love, I can orgasm before intercourse easily because there is so much more happening than just physical. The times we're just having sex, I couldn't orgasm easily if you offered me a million dollars.<P>H has told me that there were several times with OW that he got up and left in the middle of it because there was noway in the world he was going to orgasm with her. He finally understands why, she wasn't me, and it was just empty not even that good sex. <P>Now if he can just figure out why he kept going back. I think it was her fawning and telling him how incredible he was even if he had started to treat her badly.

Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 8,069
R
Member
Offline
Member
R
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 8,069
Well,<P>As far as the same time issue .... my H and I use to all the time ... we were definitely in sync. And it was quite erotic to have it together all the time. I miss that .... what an understatement!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<P>I miss sex PERIOD! LOL!<P>Jo

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 2,863
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 2,863
KristyAnn,<BR>Me too, Extremely strong O's while asleep, from dreams.<P><P>------------------<BR>Belle, Domestic Goddess

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 2,863
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 2,863
KristyAnn,<BR>Me too, Extremely strong O's while asleep, from dreams.<P><P>------------------<BR>Belle, Domestic Goddess

Page 2 of 4 1 2 3 4

Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 1,116 guests, and 67 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Mike69, petercgeelan, Zorya, Reyna98, Nofoguy
71,829 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5