The news is <B>not</B> what I would have liked...<P>Click ===><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum34/HTML/001121.html" TARGET=_blank>HERE</A>.<P>Thank you for all your concerns... <P>Jim

Jim,<P>I'm so sorry. I wish I could make her wake up and see what she is throwing away. But one day she will see it, I feel sorry for her on that day. <P>Jim if you are only half as wonderful IRL as you are here, your children are blessed to have you. And I know that God as something wonderful waiting for you down the road. <P>You walk away from this with head high do you hear me ? You gave it all you had and then some. <P>I pray that when the hurt lifts you see you as we do, a warm loving, caring man. I am proud to know you.<P>------------------<BR>Deb<P>Hepatitis C, Please educate yourself ! <A HREF="http://www.hepatitis-central.com/<P>In" TARGET=_blank>http://www.hepatitis-central.com/<P>In</A> memory of a very dear friend <A HREF="http://fathom.org/teemingmillions/wally.adp" TARGET=_blank>http://fathom.org/teemingmillions/wally.adp</A>

Jim,<P>You will get to the other side of this pain also. May you find the burden lifted as Sheba did. You have done an awesome job...<P>And I hope this isn't goodbye, sort of sounded like it...

I am so sorry to hear this. I hope you find the happiness you deserve.<BR>Elizabeth

May the Lord Jesus bless you and your children as you seek Him and may your lives be filled with peace, joy and love from now to eternity.

Jim:<P>I, too, am so sorry for this. I wish she would have woken up to smell the coffee so to speak. <P>You have been such a rock for all of us, and I hope we can be the same for you. <P>My thoughts are with you and children. I wish you only the best. The next lady that comes around...she better watch out! She is going to have one perfect man on her hands!<P>--purplemag

Jim,<P>I am really so sorry to hear about the D coming up. I wish everyone here could rebuild their marriages an be happy together. I do want to pass along something that a friend I work with recently sent me. I found many things in here that I am trying to pattern my life after. I think there is something here for all of us to learn from. <P>It is called the awakening:<P>A time comes in your life when you finally get it... When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks, and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!<P>Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears, and through a mantle<BR>of wet lashes you begin to look at the world through new eyes. This is your awakening.<P>You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince<BR>Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairytale endings (or beginnings for that matter), and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you; and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.<P>You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are... and that's OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself ; and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.<P>You stop *****ing and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say, and that not<BR>everyone will always be there for you; and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own, and to take care of yourself; and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.<P>You stop judging and pointing fingers... and you begin to accept people as they are, and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties; and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.<P>You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you,is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all the crap you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look, and how much you should weigh; what you should wear and where you should shop, and what you should drive; how and where you should live, and what you should do for a living; who you should<BR>sleep with, who you should marry, and what you should expect of a marriage; the importance of having and raising children, or what you owe your parents.<P>You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing<BR>and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with; and in the process you learn to go with your instincts.<P>You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that there is power and glory in creating and contributing; and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.<P>You learn that principles such as honesty and<BR>integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.<P>You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save the world... and that you can't teach a pig to sing.<P>You learn to distinguish between guilt and<BR>responsibility, and the importance of setting boundaries, and learning to say NO.<P>You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry, and that martyrs get burned at the stake.<P>Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving, and when to walk away.<P>You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be, more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man on your arm or the child<BR>that bears your name. You learn to look at<BR>relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be.<P>You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love...and you learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your terms... just to make you happy.<P>And, you learn that alone does not mean lonely. And you look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10, and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you "stack<BR>up."<P>You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly<BR>OK....and that it is your right to want things and to ask for the things that you want...and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.<P>You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect; and you won't settle for less.And, you allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you to glorify you with his touch... and in the process you internalize the meaning of self-respect.<P>And you learn that your body really is your temple, and you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and taking more time to exercise.<P>You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear. So you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.<P>You learn, that for the most part, in life you get what you believe you deserve... and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.<P>You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for, and that wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen.<P>More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone and that it's OK to risk asking for help.<P>You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time. FEAR itself.<P>You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it, and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms.<P>And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.<P>You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve; and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing<BR>you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just life happening.<P>And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state - the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you,<BR>and poison the universe that surrounds you.<P>You learn to admit when you are wrong and to building bridges instead of walls. You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about; a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.<P>Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself; and you to make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever, settle for less than your heart's desire.<P>And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.<P>Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side you take a stand; you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.<P>My prayers and thoughts are with you. Please stay with us, your insight and help has been valuable to many people here on the MB site.<P>.....fs<P>

<small>[ February 08, 2005, 08:00 PM: Message edited by: hanora ]</small>

Jim, I'm so sorry to hear about this. But at least you've tried your best. I have this poem for you.<P>"Watching you walk out of my life doesn't make me bitter or cynical about love, but it rather makes me wonder; if I so much wanted to be with the wrong one, how wonderful it will be when the right one comes along."<P>OOOO

Jim,<P>I know it's of little use to you...but I guess you can at least look back and know that you did every possible thing you could to save your marriage. Your children will know that also.<P>While events are swirling out of your control I'm glad you are still feeling like a Christian person. I sometimes doubt if HE is out there listening to me.<P>allison

OH, Jim... I must come out of lurker land for this.<P>You tried so hard, you helped us all so much - I can't help but believe that God is planning to use this in a mighty way.<P>The following is a gift the Lord gave me when I asked "WHY?"<P>COMFORT<BR>(selections from 2 Cor. 2:3-14):<P>Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in trouble with the comfort we ourselves have recieved from God. <P>For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. <P>If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; <P>if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. <P>AND OUR HOPE FOR YOU IS FIRM, BECAUSE WE KNOW THAT JUST AS YOU SHARE IN OUR SUFFERINGS, SO ALSO YOU SHARE IN OUR COMFORT.<P>You, dear man, have "conducted yourself in the world, and especially in our relations with you, in the holiness and sincerity that are from GOD."(V12)<P>blessings and a hug,<BR> <BR>lizzie/POGP/Liz Smith

up for Jim. <P>Pray for him, please.