Can I ramble for a bit? Well, I’m going to anyway :P I’ve got a date with W tonight. We are going to a concert in a town about 2 hours away. We really like the bands so are willing to make the drive to see them but also spending 4 hours alone with W in the car is something I have been looking forward to for several weeks. It will be the most time we have spent together with just the 2 of us since our one night hotel stay the week after D-day. That was the “do we stay married” self-imposed lock up night. It would be nice if tonight was just as intense but for completely different reasons. We haven’t had a chance to fully disclose our feelings in a long time. (Yeah, I know guys don’t do this – but I’m learning) <P>Oh yeah, I got a promotion and a raise yesterday! Actually a big chunk of $$. About the monthly increase of what an apartment with utilities would run. (bet you never heard of someone feeling bad about getting more money before) I think I have been using the “we can’t afford it” argument as a crutch at times and now that crutch is gone.<P>I know I seem kinda down today. Had a dream last night and it has left me in a funk. I just need someone to talk to for a second. Strange, I always have a house full of people <I> and I really enjoy that! </I> But of all those friends, no one knows about the A but the participants (willing and un-willing) and our counselor. The whole thing is wearing hard on us all and I see it more in OM and his W. Other friends ask me “what’s wrong with W” or “why is OM so down?” (well they use his name, but you know what I mean) I don’t know how long they will buy the “he’s having a rough time at work and putting in a lot of hours” excuse. Having company is something I actually hated during the period before D-day when you know something is wrong but you don’t know what it is or what to do about it. Now I’m back to being the social animal I was before; I like to surround myself with our friends. Now if W and OM can quit kicking themselves about it maybe we can pack it all up in a garbage bag, dump it on the side of the road and move on. Sometimes I wonder if OM would feel better if I drug him out in the ally and beat the hell out of him. Maybe then he could find absolution. After all, it’s really in <I>MY</I> best interest if OM and his W have a solid relationship. <P>Anyway, I really didn’t have anything to say or ask (that’s a lot of words for someone who doesn’t have anything to say – kinda like a politician) just needed to ramble.<P>Joe<BR>
