Guard & I are going to another St. Louis Rams game (an intentional common recreational interest), this time alone, no kids.<P>Things have been going ok. Though we spend a lot of time together, we're often busy while together & it seems like deep communication is pretty sparse, most of our talk is kids, transportation of kids, work, household repair, the stupid dog and too many cats. <P>Gee...can it...could it be...normal life? <P>Throughout the past couple years, I thought normal was gone forever. My dreams were crashed. Now to see so much of what I wanted my life & family to be on the return, it is simply a miracle.<P>Anyway, this weekend, I hope we can do some real checking on each other, but mostly, I want to enjoy my husband. <P>------------------<BR>Lor<BR>"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."<BR>(Proverbs 15:1).

Lor, have a great weekend!

Have a great time!<P>Normal can be pretty sweet, can't it?

Lor...<P>Have a great time...<P>...when without the kids...<P>...do what you do... without the kids <P> <P>Jim

Thanks for your well wishes Schizzo, FHL & NSR.<P>We're back. Had a great time. Some really funny moments, like being the only people in a certain tavern that were not from the Blue Bunny Ice Cream convention. "Man, I gotta tell ya, those Peppermint Stick orders are NOT movin'!" <P>We got along great, even including the 6 hour delay in flying out which resulted in us not getting home until 4 am.<P>You know, the marriage experts recommend date nights and getting away together alone a few times a years, I think there is something to it. When we went to Mexico in July, our relationship was solid in that we both wanted our marriage to work, but our dynamics were of the "if it doesn't work here in Mexico, we're never going to be able to put it together." Of course, we did have a very enjoyable time & the last day put on our wedding rings and made new vows.<P>This time away, we even talked about that we're no longer feeling like one wrong move and the marriage ends. We know we'll have some difficult times...triggers...memories...hurt feelings, and we'll make mistakes (hopefully VERY small mistakes ). But now we can count on the other person being there the next day, with an apology and sometimes a pretty good understanding of what glitched between us.<P>I think back to last year, when we had just separated again, I think back to 2 years ago when we were in the midst of our first separation, I think back to 3 years ago--meeting the woman who would become OW & knowing she was attracted to my H...things do change. <P>And my, doesn't time fly in retrospect, even though I know I had whole months that I had to tell myself to breathe & drink extra water because the crying was making me so dehydrated.<P>I so appreciate this board. I do not know how I would have made it through without the wonderful people here--supporting, advising, commisserating, laughing, hugging, scolding, praying.<P>THANK YOU.<P>------------------<BR>Lor<BR>"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."<BR>(Proverbs 15:1).

Lor~<P><BR>Sounds great!!!!!! Very postive posting.<P>Judy

So happy for you!! <P>Love, Sheryl

Hey Lor,<P>Thank you for sharing your happiness with us and for giving us some hope for our own futures. There is nothing like seeing someone that you have come to "know" and care about be successful in dealing with infidelity to know that IT CAN BE DONE.<P>Firestorm and I are leaving tomorrow for our own long weekend getaway. Maybe the mountains or maybe the beach, we have a lot to choose from here in NC (Variety Vactionland that we are). Mostly I just want to rest and recharge myself for the continued work of surviving/recovering.<P>Please keep us updated on all the good things going on in your life, as well as the things that are not so good. After all, they are also part of the real process and you are right that one setback WILL NOT undo all the positives that you and Guard are creating.<P>Tell him hello for me. I don't know if he remembers me posting to him or not, but I do. I had a feeling that he was really starting to "get it". I'm glad my instincts were right in a good way that time!!<P>Peppermint

Bighope, NB, Peppermint--thanks to all of you. You all have had your second + discovery days, you are all strong women who have made loving & tough choices. NB, you & I share even more turmoil in common.<P>Putting a marriage back together isn't easy, but I think the turning point for me was setting the past down. Not one thing can be changed, and after awhile the revelations don't change how things are either. The marriage works if you are both committed and love each other. One can hold it together for even a long time, but at some point, it has to be both partners working together. I'm very blessed that we are at that point of working together after all we have been through & the bad choices we both made.<P>Peppermint--Guard doesn't come here anymore. He sees it as *my* place--I think he's glad the vents aren't coming his way in real life, he doesn't want to run into any here! But I think that MB really opened his eyes and I thank you for your part in that. <P>------------------<BR>Lor<BR>"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."<BR>(Proverbs 15:1).

It sounds really good, Lor.<P>I'm going away myself.

<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR><B>Courage</B><P>Whatever course you decide upon,<BR>there is always someone to tell you<BR>that you are wrong.<P>There are always difficulties arising<BR>which tempt you to believe that your <BR>critics are right.<P>To map out a course of action <BR>and follow it to an end <BR>requires courage.<P><I>Ralph Waldo Emerson</I>