Hey everyone,<P>Some of you have probably seen me around but my H asked me to move all of my stuff out on Saturday. He has been talking and wanting a separation for a while but has wanted me to agree that this is what we should do, and I never could agree with him. Finally he wanted me to leave so I did. Now I haven't talked to him since Saturday and am wondering if you have any tips or suggestions through your own experiences to share. He said he was very sad about it too. He said he wanted "some time to figure out if he really thought he loved me or not" We are a little over a year past D Day and I cannot say for sure that he has not been having contact with OW so I don't even know the honest truth about what is going on. I am just planning to stay away and if he wants to approach me he can. I am grateful though for some time to relax and take care of myself a little more which is what I am planning to do now. Thanks for listening

He had the affair & he askd you to move out?<P>What have you two been doing to assure no contact?<P>What have you done in the way of counseling?<P>What have you done in the way of the emotional needs questionnaires?<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>

Hi KAW,<P>Taking care of yourself is the right thing to do during the separation. Let him have his space, respect it, and don't intrude on him during this time. Let him initate contact with you, and don't play games (playing hard to get). When he is ready to talk, you should be ready to listen.<P>This period is going to be difficult to get through, but just take it one moment at a time, and pretty soon the day will pass. Think positively, work on being the best you there is, and visualize him as a loving person so that when you see him that is how you will treat him regardless of what he says.<P>Blessings and be well, MT

Chris:<P>Yes he was the WS and he asked me to move out. The no contact thing is a bit more difficult here (not impossible but difficult) H and OW had a relationship 12 years ago right out of High school and a little girl resulted from that. They split and H had no contact with his Daughter until about 2 years ago. Well after he started seeing his child him and OW had more contact which is how I ended up here. So we had a plan he agreed not to contact her, she agreed to her H not to contact my H. OW and myself would do all of the coordinating as far as the child goes. But we are all in the same town H works out of our house I work out of town - anything could happen that I don't know about. I have been counseling with Jennifer Chalmers (excellent!) but H refuses he has read HNHN and really liked the book but "feels" his love for me is too far gone. so that also answers the En questionaire part - he did not want to fill it out. <P>To Many Tears - Thank you for your kind words and encouragement. I know in my head that I need to take super good care of myself right now and do constructive things with my time. I just tried making a list of some things I can do and so far Every night this week is full! WOW My heart hopes he may realize what he is doing but I know that it may be longer than I really want it to be. For now I am just taking care of myself and waiting.