I don't even know which section to post in anymore! The last conversation that my wife and I had about us (which was a month ago) was when she handed me papers about divorce mediation. I told her that she should pursue that course if she wanted to.<P>Since then nothing has happened expect she has become, as expected, more distant. No discussion of us. In fact no real discussion on anything. I continue to try and be nice although I don't let her push me around or use the kids as a wedge. Still no dating, sex etc.<P>The little good news is that there are a few good minutes each day (not hours). She did get me some nice stuff for my birthday and overall we had a good day. I think the phone talking with OM has slowed down a bit and that whole thing may be in limbo. We are going to church together because our kids have Sunday School there.<P>Overall I seem to be holding up and can honestly say that I know I can survive and thrive very well if she where to file for D. I like everyone else am most concerned with my kids (5 and 3) who already seem to sense that things are not what they should be. My wife seems to be doing a good job of trying to not let them enjoy the things that I do i.e. sports etc.<P>So am I getting divorced? Are we on a way to recovery? I think we are probably in the most dreaded area of limbo. Not a good place to be.

Oh...<P>you know it...<P>you're in Plan A...<P>Patience... Time... Consistancy!<P>If you counsel with Steve or Jenn... you can might be able to access your situation more clearly...<BR>...and then make those other steps!<P>Just a thought...<P> <P>Jim

Hey, Zip.<P>Hang in there; I think you're posting in the right place.<P>I think Jim has a good idea to get some help to find ways to kick start things a little. It sounds like you are both withdrawing. <P>Are you and your W still living in the same place? I get the impression you are since you have a few good minutes every day. This is a good thing. Again, hang in there. <P>How do you mean that your W is trying to not let your kids enjoy what you like? There could be some ways to address this, but you'd have to sit down and think through what is really happening before you can do so.<P>All the best to you, Zip! You're doing great with a bad situation. --HBC

Thanks for the feedback. I have talked to Steve over the last year. He tells me to hang in there as long I can stay in Plan A. Though 18 months of this is a long time. It clearly is not as bad as some of the people on this board. But emotional distance by her can really be bad.<P>As for the kids, my wife is a control freak with everything that has to do with them. It has to be her way or the highway with them. She is way uptight with them. Lately that has stopped because I just won't allow her behavior to affect the kids.<P>My guess is that she might try to make things so unbearable emotionaly that I will want to get out. It's not like we yell and scream all the time. Because we don't. But when you don't date or anything else it is tough to have a marriage. Thank goodness I have great friends.

<p>[ January 09, 2002: Message edited by: OffOnOnOff ]</p>