How long have you been in Plan B?<P>What were the circumstances leading to you going to Plan B?<P>How does being there affect you?<P>Where are you in the relationship? (reconciliation? divorce?)<P>What has been the path so far?<P>Are you happy with the way things are going?<P>I think that those in Plan A would benefit from a glimpse into the future. (I know I am curious as to how this has worked out for people further along than me).<P>I have been in a REAL Plan B for 4 days. It has been liberating! It is not hard at all. I probably waited too long to do this, but know now that it is the right thing to do. <P>I held off from doing this because I didn't think it was necessary. We had both decided to divorce, although there were some body language and behavior things which indicated that maybe there was some ambiguity there. We were getting along fine. No reason to alienate him, right? I think this is right because it puts things in perspective and defines reality for both of us. It faces the fact that he has another woman in his life and that he is lying to me and to her and that I am not going to play that game anymore.<P>Since Plan B, he's been calling and coming by a lot and initiating some things that I think he thinks will make me happy and get my attention, so it's definitely had an effect on him (I've not responded), but my desires are not reconciliation. They are for closure, and that is happening for me. I feel good about that.

<BR>popeye,<P>Isn't the goal of Plan B to reconcile?<P>And if it isn't, in your case anyhow, then what difference does it make how long others have been in Plan B?<P>I get the impression that you very understandably are sick of his games. But I also get the impression that you are still open to reconcile. Am I right?<P>Bystander

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>but my desires are not reconciliation. They are for closure, and that is happening for me. I feel good about that.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>If you do not wish reconciliation, then why Plan B? If divorce is your way to go, then Plan A would keep him on your good side & make the divorce LESS of a hassle from him.<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>

Hi Popeye,<BR>I have been in plan B for 4 and 1/2 months.<P>I planned A until H moved out of the house.<P>I like plan B because I dont have to deal with the lies anymore.Still deal with hurt ,but it is improving.Plan B is hard because I miss my H,but he is not the same person anymore."The aliens have taken over his brain.<P>H is headed straight for a divorce.<P>I am not happy the way things are going ,but I have no control over it.H is also doing a reverse plan B on me.<P>My situation is different than most I think because H did not love me anymore when he started affairs.<P> Love and Prayers, Beth

Bystander- I thought the goal of Plan B was to maintain good feelings and was for the mental health of the betrayed. That is my purpose anyway.<P>The question was primarily for those who are thinking of going to Plan B. I thought it would be good for them to have some comfort in knowing what they were getting into. It was also for me for that same reason- a look into the future.<P>Yes, I am sick of the games and want this to be over. I am not open to reconciliation at this stage. Too long in coming and I feel too used.<P>Beth- what is a reverse Plan B? <P>To everybody- an interesting thing happened, I believe as a result of Plan B. After asking the WS a month ago to order some mulch, the WS had all this beautiful landscaping done to the front and back of the house. Gorgeous! We have an acre and a half with lots of huge flower beds, so this was a big bucks job.<P>He insisted that he talk to me yesterday IN PERSON. When I refused, he came over anyway and would not leave until we talked. He actually listened to the same words I have been saying for a year now and heard what I have been saying for the first time. He almost admitted having an affair with the current OW. He stopped short of actually saying the words, but did everything but that, and he wants to come home. <P>Whoa. Is that a shock? I am still not interested in reconciling, but I am glad the fog is finally lifting. I do believe that the WS will play around as long as he can get away with playing around. I believe that there comes a time when no contact is necessary for closure, peace, and resolution.<P>For those of you fearing it, if it's time, I say do it.

Popeye,<BR>Sorry I took so long to answer.What I mean by a reverse PLan B is that H is in "no contact" with me.H avoids me.<P>I am so sorry that your H wants to come back ,and you feel you do not want to reconcile.<BR>I can understand why you wouldnt.We have all been thru so much pain and b@$$*#|>.<P>Love and Prayers,Beth