Hi Wassi,<P>Just take the time you need. Glad to know your H came and read. He might get a lot of great insight from everyone expecially Firestorm.<P>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Wassi}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}]

Samantha<BR>I'm glad you checked in. I will look forward to your e-mail. You sound good. I think the shock is wearing off here. Not sure what will happen when it does.<P>Deb<BR>You are too sweet. Thank you. I did tell him Mike used to post here. I think he uderstands that we are all people...men women..betrayer, betrayed...still hate those labels.<P>FHL<BR>There is nothing to forgive. You are one of the kindest people on earth. You didn't need to ask anything. I will show him the post when he gets up. Thank you.<P>cl<BR>Thank you for being there. You help me keep my head above water.<P>Paha<BR>You are so right. We all learn from each other and there is a lot to learn from the wonderful people here.<p>[This message has been edited by wasstubborn (edited October 19, 2000).]

anything that could have come out of my mouth has already been 'spoken'....<P>oh Wassi.........wrap yourself up in the love of friends...so richly offered here...<P>someone in Montreal loves ya......and is sending good thoughts and energy your way...<P>((((((((((Wassi & H ))))))))))))<P>(cause you BOTH need a hug)<P>Dylan<P>------------------<BR>"The journey into darkness has been long and cruel, and you have gone deep into it."<BR>~ A Course in Miracles

Wassi,<P>Has you H had any second thoughts about signing on and becoming a part of this board? I was so glad to see that he came here and read the post. If he signs on I will surely respond to anything he may want to ask. He can e-mail me at fire2storm@usa.com if he wants to talk in a non-public platform. <P>Tell him that I will not judge his actions because I understand them. I think I can help, BOTH OF US. He does need to quit living a lie and that is what an affair is. His affair, like the one I had, is made up of two selfish liars and they both are in it for their own personal gain. There is no SHE and there is no HE, there is a whole lot of ME ME ME. Get him to come here or to e-mail me. I hope I can help both of you. My prayers to you and your H.....fs

Wassi,<BR>You've been on my mind so much.<P>It is a great sign that your H came here. I remember that when my H, Guard, came here he was shocked at how protective & supportive people were of me. He wrote some wonderful posts back in February, but since I wasn't buying his change of heart at that time, long-time posters/my friends also took a hard line with him. But as I think of it, I truly think that was part of what solidified his change. It wasn't just me saying the same old thing, it was betrayed after betrayed and a few betrayers trying to paint him a picture of how things really were outside of the fog and how he saw things.<P>He knew his turnaround had to last--I wouldn't accept it until time had passed.<P>He had to be constant--because I was emotionally closed & moving away.<P>He learned to Plan A.<P>He went to counseling, even when I wouldn't go with him anymore.<P>I pray your husband reaches whatever solutions are appropriate for the two of you to heal your marriage.<P>In most cases, I simply have to say, don't do some of the things I did when my heart grew cold toward my H, but do give your H a foothold in your life to show you a better him, if that is his intent. If he's going on with the same old crap...well, there is life for you, dear Wassi, no matter what. You are strong, you are wonderful and you have great problem-solving skills and a delightful sense of humor & whimsy.<P>I did not think my H deserved a 7th (!) chance, but at this point, with the man he is now, I have no regrets giving him this chance and warm-heartedly love him for not turning away when I served the divorce papers & etc .<P>You have the choice of continuing or not or waiting a time period to decide. But, really it is all on your H's shoulders.<P>Feel free to use me as a bad example of what can happen emotionally & behaviorally to a BS who gives up. And how truly difficult it can be to woo that spouse back when they are running away as hard as they can. (I just don't run fast )<P>------------------<BR>Lor<BR>"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."<BR>(Proverbs 15:1).

{{{{{{{Dylan}}}}}}<BR>back at ya <BR>Thank you.<P>firestorm<BR>Your offer means a lot. I'm not sure what will happen. There was a lot to digest last night. I will make sure to let H know that you have offered. I'm not sure how much he is comfortable with. You understand....it's really hard to start talking sometimes. <P>Now I think this thread had better be put to rest. <BR>It's getting really long to load. I love you all and thank you for being my friends.

Wassi,<P>I got the e-mail from your H this morning. It was nice to hear from him but I am so sad for the reasons we all are here. Our situations do sound so familiar it is unreal. My message back was rather long, but I hope that I have helped in some way. I really think he is a good man inside and maybe he sees that it is time for it to come out. I really believe he has an incredible wife, and yes, he sees that also. It is going to be very hard for him to admit that he was weak and had many shortcomings. I think he has that strength in him to do so. He does have someone here, in me, that is going through the same thing.<P>I wish you guys the very best in life and let him know that I will be here if needs to talk to me or ask any questions. I am not an expert on marriage by no means, but I do understand him and where he is coming from. <P>My prayers and warmest reguards to you both<BR>.............fs