My wife and I have been together for 8 years (6 of them married). My entire adult life has seen ME make one bad financial decision after another (ie buying things like new automobiles, computers, etc without her involvement). That was "ok" when we were younger - we were able to make it work, but now we have 2 children (4 yrs and 18 months), so obviously there is a lot more at stake and money is a lot tighter. I have managed to do quite well in terms of my professional like, so my salary is quite high, but we are realing from the debt of our younger years. My wife makes comments like, "our lives are ruined" and I just don't believe that ... I definitely believe we need to change a lot of things, but I am committed to getting us through this. Using Dr Harley's Policy of Joint Agreement, we have actually managed to AGREE on how to spend money and where, BUT (as previously mentioned) I am still paying on debt from the past few years. Has anyone faced this situation before? if so, any advice? My main concern is to get my wife to believe we can make it through this, that I am committed to doing things differently, and that our lives ARE NOT RUINED!!!!

You really ned to have her buy in, but I can tell you when my husband and I decided to get out of debt, we had a ball being creative in stretching a dollar. <BR>What REALLY helped me however was this: My thinking was that sure i like to spend but if it were just me I could curtail it without a problem. It was something else when my husband was involved, what would he think about only buying items we had coupos for or generic type items or visiting a thrift store for some things. Would he look at me like I was crazy if we went to a yard sale or an auction? What about shopping at closeout stores or those superdiscount outlets. His perception really meant a lot to me an dit wasn't until we talked and I got the understanding that he was ok with what I was ok with, saving became easier. He now trusts me to find the bargain on EVERYTHING!!! We've done creative christmas shopping for four kids and bought clothes and items for them and the house from all sorts of places. But because we spent less, it was easier to save. We are out of debt (which is a MAJOR accomplishment seeing as he also pays support for three children, which drastically diminishes his take home pay.) and now still live modestly and really enjoy knowing that now instead of money going to pay down bills it can go to savings!!!

HelpMeplease...<P>Well..first of all cut up any and all credit cards..call the companies and ask they close the accounts..then if you own a home..see about getting a home equity loan..(you can use this on taxes at the end of the year)<BR>then pay off all the credit cards with that loan..then pay off the one loan you took out. But don't get anymore credit cards..<BR>Larry Burkett has some wonderful info on <BR>financial management..most banks offer financial planning...I don't know if they all charge for the service some do..some don't..<P>But Larry Burkett has financial planning workbooks also that you can use. They even have them to teach your children finacial responsibility so they don't fall into the same trap...being a christian ministry they say pay the Lord 10% then pay yourself..then pay the bills..<P>And they recommend you get a journal to carry with you to write down EVERYTHING you buy..<BR>that way you can see where your "wasting" money..even if it's to stop and buy a coke and a pack of gum everyday. But it will show you where your money is going..most all of his books have a budget maker included so that you can write down how much you make and how much the bills are..when they are due..<BR>Some of the credit card companies (usually if you go through a financial planner, if you can't get a loan) will stop charging interest. if you close the acccount and work to just pay them off..Not all of them will..but some do.. <P>If you feel you must have a credit card..have like a visa and mastercard..and use it only<BR>in emergencies..or if you are on vacations..<BR>then when you get home you have just the one bill to pay. And learn to save for things..<BR>if you find something you want..don't buy it right then..leave the store..and go home..then if it's something you really need..look over your bills and see if you can really afford to buy it..if you get into the habit of using cash instead of credit cards..<BR>you'll find your not spending as much..<P>Or..if you can pay off one of the credit cards..take what you would normally pay them<BR>and start putting that payment to one of the others..and close the one thats paid off's account so that your not tempted to use it..<BR>or leave them at home..put them all in up so that when you go shopping your not tempted to buy impulse buy right then..you'd have to go home to get the credit card..and it's not usually worth it to drive back to the store right then to buy the item...<P>Hope this helps some...