The first A was 97 it started while we were separated. He made a lot of promises to me and I accepted him back but I later found out he was seeing someone else all along (never caught on to all the calls to the wrong numberand found condoms in the house much later). Anyway it finally ended around 5/98, and then another A (different woman)started in 12/98. I put him out when he didn't come home one night and he lived with her (1.5 mos). He lost his job and came back home. I really thought we were going to make it work but shortly after he started working again he started disappearing. After about 6mos I moved to the other room he would only say nasty things I asked him did he want to be married and he said yes(at the time). He threated to move in sept of 99. I totally withdrew from H. stopped cooking, cleaning and speaking just stayed in my room barely functioning. Well I had gone to a party and drank too much and managed to make it home and slept in the garage (attached to the house) and did not wake up until 5:30 am. He of course thought I was out all night and made comments. Acouple of months later he told me he had filed for divorce. He filed for disolution on the very same day I slept in garage (11/99). H still continued to dissapear every weekend and during week. Finally in Jan 00 he called me at work and told me he was moving right now. I took it very calmly and sat at my desk until I thought he was gone.I also found out that he had not paid the mortgage in 8mos and the house is lost. I didn't try to contact him, and he shows up putting his key in the door (which I took from him). He took his bed and tv initially. I packed his clothes and handed them to him. I had finally asked about the divorce and he pulled these mickey mouse papers from the car (he knew i would not sign them). I didn't know what to do and didn't want to lose my mind so I went back to school full time 4.0 GPA , I worked 2 jobs to occupy my time and took care of my grandma who recently passed. <BR>NOW I need your HELP?<BR>I have continued to counsel with my pastor. The last meeting as a couple he told the pastor he didn't want to be married and that he never wanted to take care of anyone. My last meeting wiht the pastor I told him I was tired and wanted to file for divorce. He said he was not ready to give up on him yet. <BR>I have continued to sleep with him and have tried to ask where is this going. He says that he doesn't want to hurt anyone and that he did not want to be married. For the most part if I asked him questions about OW he would tell the truth(he had started seeing her again). But other times he's nasty. He calls late at night and asks if he can come over and of course I said yes.<BR>although i feel like he's sneaking here. If ignore him or he doesn't know what i doing he talks about the divorce or i may get a call from his attorney. I called his bluff by inviting him to my attorney (too busy). anyway it's been 9 mos and I am lost. I was very happy with myself until my gradma passed (I went down, totaly) then our anniversary, my birthday (nothing). I have done a lot of LBing lately and asked him why he wnats to continue like this and he says " were helping eachother in our times of need" and that he knows I'm clean. I explained that he knew why I continued sleeping w/him (I want our marriage to work and I love him)he says he knows that, well on that note i went ballistic and he said we won't sleep together anymore. I intend to make him stick to that, he came over the other day and I did not give the least hint of phy attraction. I had to put him out, he fell asleep on the floor. I left him a mess on his voice mail apologizing for the things I have done and said, and would prefer we not communicate verbally or physically, unitl he felt he wanted to be a husband. I guess that's plan B<BR>I'm tired, scared, lonely.<BR>He asks me questions about dating and friends (I have neither). I plan on moving in January and am planning on not being found. <BR>I am wondering should I write a plan b letter, I always wrote him letters (I knew I had his undivided attention)<BR>Please Help (prescribed medication is not an option because of school) <BR>