I get this from Bits & Pieces in my e-mail each day. Thought it might be good to share! Now who wants to make me laugh?<P>PLEASE!!<P>On Hope <P>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------<P>I've seen what a good laugh can do. It can transform tears into hope. <P>Bob Hope <BR>Entertainer <BR>Cited in BITS & PIECES <P><BR>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------<P><BR>There are no hopeless situations - only people who are hopeless about them. <P>Dinah Shore (1917-1994) <BR>Entertainer <BR>Cited in More of...The Best of BITS & PIECES <P><BR>------------------<BR>*heartache*<P>"Life's A Dance<BR>You Learn As You Go.<BR>Sometimes You Lead<BR>Sometimes You Follow!<BR>Don't worry 'Bout What You Don't Know<BR>LIfe's A Dance <BR>You Learn As You Go."<p>[This message has been edited by heartache (edited October 20, 2000).]

Okay, here's something for you. My friends and doctor told me that when I am depressed I should get more exercise. Exercise helps to release toxins (yes) and increases the endorphins (okay) that make you feel good. In addition, it will help you sleep better (yeah right).<P>Well, I got this from a friend today and it cracked me up!<P><BR>> EXERCISE, IS IT WORTH IT?<BR>><BR>> It is well documented that for every mile > that you jog, you add one minute to your > life. This enables you at 85 years old > to spend an additional 5 months in a<BR>> nursing home at $5000 per month.<BR>><BR>><BR>> 1. My grandmother started walking five <BR>> miles a day when she was 60.<BR>> She's 97 now and we don't know where the > hell she is.<BR>><BR>> 2. The only reason I would take up <BR>> jogging is so that I could hear<BR>> heavy breathing again.<BR>><BR>> 3. I joined a health club last year, <BR>> spent about 400 bucks. Haven't<BR>> lost a pound. Apparently you have to show > up.<BR>><BR>> 4. I have to exercise early in the <BR>> morning before my brain figures out<BR>> what I'm doing.<BR>><BR>> 5. I don't exercise at all. If God meant > us to touch our toes, he would have put <BR>> them further up on our body.<BR>><BR>> 6. I like long walks, especially when <BR>> they are taken by people who annoy me.<BR>><BR>> 7. I have flabby thighs, but fortunately > my stomach covers them.<BR>><BR>> 8. The advantage of exercising every day > is that you die healthier.<BR>><BR>> 9. If you are going to try cross-country > skiing, start with a small country.<BR>><BR>> 10. I don't jog, it makes the ice jump <BR>> right out of my glass.<BR> <BR>

I just came from the EN site and found this.<BR> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum8/HTML/002230.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum8/HTML/002230.html</A> <P>Are you laughing yet?

LOL Many Tears-you did it You made me laugh.......and laugh and laugh some more. Too funny.<P>Now-how about tomorrow? Lol!<P>Thank you very much.<P>------------------<BR>*heartache*<P>"Life's A Dance<BR>You Learn As You Go.<BR>Sometimes You Lead<BR>Sometimes You Follow!<BR>Don't worry 'Bout What You Don't Know<BR>LIfe's A Dance <BR>You Learn As You Go."

I am new here, but I hope this makes you laugh as hard as it did me! <P>Keep smiling!<BR>LA<P><BR>Birds & the Bees <P>The following is a true story. Please consider the following humor, and a little friendly advice from one parent to another on what not to do in a hamster emergency. Thanks...a red-faced and embarrassed father. <P>I had to take my son's hamster to the vet. Here's what happened: <P>Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was "something wrong" with one of the two hamsters he holds prisoner in his room. "He's just lying there looking sick," he told me. <P>"Oldest trick in the book," I informed him. "You go in to see what's wrong with the sick one and the other one sneaks up behind you and bonks you on the head. Then they change into your clothes and escape." <P>"I'm serious, Dad. Can you help?" <P>I put a hamster-healer statement on my face and followed him into his bedroom. One of the little rodents was indeed lying on his back, looking <BR>distressed. I immediately knew what to do. "Honey," I called, "come look at the hamster!" <P>"Oh, my gosh," my wife diagnosed after a minute. "She's having babies." <P>"What?" my son demanded. "But their names are Bert and Ernie!" <P>I was equally outraged. "Hey, how can that be? I thought we said we didn't want them to reproduce," I accused my wife. <P>"Well, what did you want me to do, post a sign in their cage?" she inquired sarcastically. <P>"No, but you were supposed to get two boys!" I reminded her. <P>"Yeah, Bert and Ernie!" my son agreed. <P>"Well, it was a little hard to tell," she informed me. <P>By now the rest of the family had gathered to see what was going on. I shrugged, deciding to make the best of it. "Kids, this is going to be a <BR>wondrous experience," I announced. "We're about to witness the miracle of birth." <P>"Gross!" they shrieked. <P>"Great; what are we going to do with a litter of tiny little hamster babies?" my wife wanted to know. <P>"Well, when my parents' dog had puppies, I took them up to the grocery store in a cardboard box and gave them away," I recalled. <P>"So what are you going to do, go up with a pair of tweezers so people can pick out their hamster?" she asked. <P>We peered at the patient. After much struggling, what looked like a tiny foot would appear briefly, vanishing a scant second later. <P>"We don't appear to be making much progress," I noted. <P>"A breech birth," my wife whispered, horrified. <P>"Do something, Dad!" my son urged. <P>"Okay, okay." Squeamishly, I reached in and grabbed the foot when it next appeared, giving it a gingerly tug. It disappeared. I tried again, <BR>with the same results. <P>"Should I dial 911?" my daughter wanted to know. "Maybe they could talk us through it." <P>"Let's get Ernie to the vet," I said grimly. We drove to the vet with my son holding the cage in his lap."Breathe, Ernie, breathe," he urged. <P>"I don't think hamsters do Lamaze," I told him. <P>The vet took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at the little animal through a magnifying glass. "What do you think, Doc, an epidural?" I suggested scientifically. <P>"Oh, very interesting," he murmured. "Mr. and Mrs. Cameron, may I speak to you privately for a moment?" <P>I gulped, nodding for my son to step outside. "Is Ernie going to be okay?" my wife asked. <P>"Oh, perfectly," the vet assured us. "This hamster is not in labor. In fact, that isn't EVER going to happen....Ernie is a boy." <P>"What?" <P>"You see, Ernie is a young male. And occasionally, as they come into maturity, male hamsters will, ah..." He blushed, glancing at my wife. "Well, you know what I'm saying, Mr. Cameron." <P>We were silent, absorbing this. "So Ernie's just...just..." <P>"Excited?" my wife offered. <P>"Exactly," the vet replied, relieved that we understood. More silence. Then my wife started to giggle. "What's so funny?" I demanded. <P>Tears were now running down her face. "Just...that...I'm picturing you pulling on its...its..." she gasped. <P>"That's enough," I warned. We thanked the veterinarian and hurriedly bundled the hamsters and our son back into the car. He was glad <BR>everything was going to be okay. <P>"I know Ernie's really thankful for what you've done, Dad," he told me. <P>"Oh, you have no idea," my wife agreed, collapsing into laughter as I gave her a dirty look. <BR>

Too funny!<P>How about these?<BR> <A HREF="http://www.weiner-davis.com/ubb/Forum26/HTML/000109.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.weiner-davis.com/ubb/Forum26/HTML/000109.html</A> <P>Sorry- I don't know how to do the link thing. Some of these definitely need parental control, but I was rolling.<P>[This message has been edited by Cloudy (edited October 21, 2000).]<p>[This message has been edited by Cloudy (edited October 23, 2000).]

Ok, here goes...<P> This man was in a terrible accident and his penis was cut off. At the hospital the doctor said, "We have good news! We can afix a new one. You can have a large one for $15,000, a medium sized one for $10,000 and a smaller one for $5,000. This is quite a decision, so talk it over with your wife."<BR>The doctor returned after awhile and asked for their decision. The man said, "Well, my wife said she'd rather have a new kitchen."

THANKS YOU GUYS-<P>It does indeed feel good to chuckle a bit. My face hurts <P>Keep up the good work-maybe in time laughter will become a habit for me-LOL<P>Thanks so much-<P><P>------------------<BR>*heartache*<P>"Life's A Dance<BR>You Learn As You Go.<BR>Sometimes You Lead<BR>Sometimes You Follow!<BR>Don't worry 'Bout What You Don't Know<BR>LIfe's A Dance <BR>You Learn As You Go."