I know, I know. I am two weeks behind. Hubby passed his training and has been home for a couple of weeks with a few out and backs that he had to fly, so we have been really busy catching up on stuff. He is gone for the next few days and I have time to give a short run-down on chapter 4, "The 20-second Hug" for any of you still hanging in the game. I have supplied the links to the first 3 chapters for any new people who are interested in catching up.<P>Chapter 1, The Ten Second Kiss <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum37/HTML/00" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum37/HTML/00</A> <P>Chapter 2 the Five SEcond Compliment <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum8/HTML/001994.html5725.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum8/HTML/001994.html5725.html</A> <P>Chapter 3 The Thirty Minute Talk <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum8/HTML/002068.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum8/HTML/002068.html</A> <P>And by the way, I got an email from Ellen Kriedman thanking me for sharing her ideas! I had sent her a question about moving the kiss to thr "real thing" (truthseeker asked). Her response to that was, "To answer <BR>the question, "How long to wait between the 'kiss' and full blown sex,"- I <BR>would leave that up to the woman since they are the ones who always fear <BR>that kissing will always lead to sex. A wife is fully aware of how much <BR>her husband wants to make love and his kiss without any strings will show <BR>her that he is capable of separating the two. It may take her one, two or <BR>three weeks but what a welcome change if she is the one that finally <BR>initiates lovemaking. The men will find out that patience is truly a virtue."<P>Now, on to Chapter 4. The Twenty Second Hug<P>This chapter basically explores the concept that affectionate touching is not only desirable but necessary for the satisfaction of one of the most important human needs there is. Ms. K, states that it is at least as important as nourishment and rest. <P>The advise is not limited to the use of hugs, but also simple small touchs throughout the day and night. For example:<P>* Rubbing your feet against your mate's legs as you lie next to each other in bed.<BR>* Touching your mat's shoulder while he or she is reading.<BR>* Holding hands while walking or driving.<BR>* Putting your head or your feet in your partner's lap while watching TV.<BR>* Playing "footsie" whith you mate under the table when your're ata restaurant.<BR>* Connecting during a ride in an empty elevator.<BR>* Dancing<P>(If you want the rationale behind any of these suggestions, you will have to read the book. ) <P>The top choice of all the ways to touch is hugging. "We hug in times of joy, sorrow, elation, pride, forgiveness and even pain." A hug says "I care about you"<P>"Research indicates that receiving hugs significantly increses the suply of oxygen to all the organs in our bodies, reduces heart rate and lowers blood pressure. It stimulates the relases of endorphins, the body's natural pain suppressors. The healing touch of massage boosts immune function, imporves the ability to concentrate, lowers anxiety, and has been shown to have positive effects on colic, hyperactivity, diabetes and migraines."<P>"There is nothing like a warm embrace to calm and soothe a cantenkerous partner."<P>For a more in depth appreciation of the value of hugging read Chapter 6, Hugging till Relaxed, in David Schnarch's "Passionate Marriage".<P>Assignment:<P>1. "Touch your mate at least once a day. It doesn't matter whether you rub, tickle, scratch, massage, or caress your mate."<P>2. "Once a week, hug for a full twenty seconds. (Schnarch recommends a hug till relaxed.) It takes at least five seconds to block out all the outside distractions and focus on your mate. It takes an additional fifteen seconds to stay in the present moment with your mate as you exchange loving energy."<P>"When hugging, it is important to remember that not only are you giving, your are receiving... You and your mate begin to breath in unison. When huging focus on sending love from your heart. When receiving a hug, focus on taking love in through your heart. If you take the time to feel both the giving and the receiving, your hug will nuture you, your mate, and your relationship."<P><BR>Next... Chapter 5, The Sixty-Minute Seduction<P>Have fun!<P><BR>

Thanks PW!

Dear PW:<P>Congrats to your H! <P>And Congrats to you and your H...you sound STRONG and POSITIVE ...very encouraging!<P>Thank you for sharing the info from the book. Just wanted to let you know that I look forward to your updates and have been reading/absorbing the information.<P>Peace, ~Marie<P>------------------<BR>"If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life, your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars." ~unknown