Okay, I've posted here and in another forum previously, detailing things going on in my life currently.<P> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum8/HTML/002182.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum8/HTML/002182.html</A> <P>Anyways, the past week between my GF (former fiance') has taken a nice upward shift... which has been GREAT!<P>I've been sticking with EVERYTHING that I've been working on (been almost a month of taking things "day by day"). She has opened up alot more to me, but alot of the serious stuff between us (i.e. talking about the real problems) remains virtually untouched. But the communication is going very well again.<P>We laugh and joke with each other, spend time with the kids, look to cook dinner/lunch with each other again, which is very heartwarming. This past Saturday, I gave her a nice "wake-up" that we both enjoyed And after spending a couple hours out together (kids were with grandparents), she actually said "Well, no one's at the house, you know..." and grinned at me. (This is the house we've been working on the past couple months). Naturally, I didn't pass it up at all. <P>Sunday, things went really well as well. Both my Parents, myself and her bowl on Sundays in a league, but my Parents were out of town on business, so it was just her and I. We had an incredibally good time. We'd even made it clear to each other that we'd be "enjoying" each others company again that night....of which, I was naturally excited about (most intimacy between us in such a short amount of time in a LONG time). But unfortunately, she started getting sick shortly after we go home and those plans were dashed. (She took Monday off from work and slept most of the day, so I know she wasn't using the "headache" excuse.) We spent 15 minutes rolling on the ground in the living room, ticking and grabbing each other in obscene areas, laughing and enjoying ourselves.<P>We did talk some about things, she'd mentioned in the past how she'd have to "unlearn" alot of things about me. (i.e. letting the NEW me take over in her head over the OLD me.) This naturally will take some time, as I was an extremely lousy person for 4.5 years. But there's been some change that she's currently accepting, as she's seriously changed so much already (in comparison to how she'd been towards me for so long) in her attitude.<P>There's a TON of things about her that I could tell you, to better help you understand her and how she thinks, behaves, reacts to everything, but man.... that'd be an 8meg post. hehe <P>Sounds like things are going alot better, right?<P>I'm not sure.<P>See... in my other post, I'd mentioned she'd begun speaking to an male-coworker. I'd been snooping several weeks ago and discovered their emails back and forth. I'd even went through and used her email name and password and checked her emails on my computer, so she wouldn't know I was snooping. But I also noticed a trend as well. When they'd go several days without speaking to each other, things between us would improve. For example, this weekend, starting on Thursday or so and ending Monday... was the best 5 days between us in a very long time. They'd spoken very infrequently (email-wise), she'd been coming home several evening and not going to the Gym after work (hence not talking to him while she worked out).<P>I'd noticed about 14 days (or so) ago, he'd given her his phone number in an email. I was starting to forget about that, since things were going as well between us as they had been. I was actually starting to feel "good" again. Then today, I got an email from him to her that was like this:<P><I>You must not like me anymore. No emails . You don't come in and workout. <P>I think I am going to cry now. <P>Just kidding. See you soon.</I><P><BR>Now, naturally I was like "eat sh@t and die, MF'er..." as I do have some anger directed to him as he KNOWS I exist in her life and has spoken semi-badly about me in an email to her. Now, in response to this email, recently sent, she was explaned why she hadn't sent any emails back to him. (That she'd been sick on Monday) But the real thing that really got me, was that she was like "I tried calling Sunday, but no one was home."<P>What does this mean? Am I just being paranoid (wasn't paranoid before they started talking to each other, she had several male friends that I had NO problems with at all).

Hurt_and_Lost,<P>I read your previous post and it seems that your GF is probably unable to trust you completely. She has in the past and was disappointed. You need to SHOW her that you are for real this time. Remember that plan A is just as much for you as it is for her. The change in you has to be REAL and SINCERE, and she has to see that NEW you is going to be around for good.<P>Since you are not married to each other, she wants to be sure that she will be doing the right thing. This is going to be hard to take, but if she wants to date other men it is her right. What you have to show her is that you are MR. RIGHT and she need not look further. <P>Obviously she still has loving feelings for you otherwise she would not allow sexual intimacy between you. You've discovered that she is in touch with another man, best thing you can do about that is DO NOT LOVEBUST. Don't ask her about him and don't talk relationship between you. Let her initiate the serious conversations, if she doesn't bring it up that means she is not ready for them. Don't push. I'm giving you the benefit of my recent experience. I talked relationship which took the fun out of our times together. I talked about the OW which at the beginning he was willing to talk about, but at some point he got tired of it. Now, things between us are ice cold! Don't know what will happen, I'm backing off until he's ready to talk. But, you can totally avoid my situation if you follow my advice.<P>Let things happen naturally and plan A, plan A, plan A.<P>Good luck, Many Tears