Cathy wrote: I sincerely believe, if I had taken the course of action H thought I would take when I discovered them, which would have been D, he would be with her today. But, instead I fought for my marriage and my H. Now I ask, did I do the right thing? Did I screw up a sincere love affair that was supposed to be? Was I in the way? Should I have let him go, hoping he would find his way back to me someday?<P>Does any one else struggle with these questions? <P>I don't suppose anybody has the answers to those questions. All the hypotheticals are simply that. We can guess, but who knows what small or big thing can change a life?<P>I think my H is still with the OW because I would not take him back on his terms, which means no counseling, no talking about the past, him continuing his relationship with her, kissing HIS feet, no repentance, and dealing with women behind my back for the rest of our lives together.<P>Do I screwed up a sincere love affair? Well, you might think so since he's been with this one behind my back for 8 years, but I think if it wasn't her, it would have been someone else. And in fact has been when she wasn't available. <P>I want it honestly or not at all. I don't want someone I have to babysit. I want someone who can be in the face of a million women and still chose me. It's been painful, but I guess being true to yourself is.<P>We can struggle, go through pain, reconcile and then be cheated of a life together through death. We can reconcile only to become the betrayer. We can reconcile only to be betrayed again. We've all seen all these scenarios on this board. I guess you never know about the "what ifs". You can only commit to what you have and hope for the best. <p>[This message has been edited by popeye (edited October 24, 2000).]
