OK all you guys posted about how to sweet talk to your woman and turn her on. What do we wounded and betrayed spouses say to do the same when we feel like it would seem so pretentious to do so at this time or if it is something that never came natural to you in the first place.<P>OW talked sweet nothings to my H like he was an infant or something. Sweetie Pie, Honey, Baby Doll, etc. Is this a turn on?<P>Please this kind of nonsense is not second nature to me and I need to know what to say!<P>Come on... give!<P>Cathy

Oh, I forgot,(gag me) she also called him Puddin'. Ohhhhhhhhhhh...please!!!<P>Cathy

Cathy - Fair question - wish I could help, but being the husband BS, I can't put myself in the place of the husband WS. Puddin' would gag me, too! So, how about answering the same question from the female WS perspective? What do I say to my wife who doesn't seem to want to hear any sweet nothings from me?<P>Come on, give!!!!!!!!!<P>WAT

Cathy,<P>You have to say what you feel. My STBX and I had sweet talk like that, but we both liked it & it was natural for us. I'm the BS, and I know that my STBX does't want to her me call her "babe" or any of the other intimate terms of affection we used to have for each other. Sorry, I know that's not much help.<P>It's not a turn on, when it's from someone you love, it's a signal that they care for you, a signal of affection. Not everyone does it, if it seems like nonsense to you, I wouldn't consider doing it. <P>------------------<BR>nick<P>it's only time that heals the pain and makes the sun come out again

Believe it or not, my stbx and I STILL occasionally slip and call each other "sweetie" or "babe" or some name like that. Very rarely, but it has happened over the last few months.<P>We see it as a term of endearment, not a turn on. <P>Catplay, how did you find out that OW called him those names? Did your H like it or did he think it was silly? (And the puddin' one made me queasy too, that's a bit much.) <P>If he liked it and you want to try to do it, begin with something easy, not to mushy, like calling him "honey" every so often. It gets easier as time goes on. I really wasn't like that at first either, but it became fun to come up with cute names for each other.<P>Best wishes.

Oh Yeah! Catplay, my H's OW did the same ... called my H ... Honey, Sweetheart, Baby, Pumpkin, Lover, Sugar, Baby Doll, Sexy, Sweetie, Babe .. you name it. And at times instead of saying " I Love you" she'd say "I Lust You". It was way over the top. <P>My H and I only called each other "Babe or Honey" ... <P>I would also like to know if the guys out there truly like being called all these endearing names by OW and if they'd like their wifes to have done the same... I mean, doesn't it start to make you think you're being manipulated???<P>Jo<p>[This message has been edited by Resilient (edited October 25, 2000).]

Good morning Sweeties,<P>Oochie koochie koo! Kind of makes you think about some mother/child complex thing going on with them!!! Come to mama baby and let me make it all better!!! Duh!!!<P>I sweet talk my children, but the timing is usually perfect for such. <P>I don't know what to tell you to say to your W/WS because I am so unaccustomed to hearing sweet nothings. My H compliments me, I like that... he loves my legs, my breasts (they are real, her's are enhanced), my eyes, my skin and my thighs! He really doesn't do the affectionate names thing with me, maybe Babe once in a while. I don't know if he had any gaa-gaa goo-goo names for her. He really doesn't need to call me these things, I would rather him focus on my good assets and compliment those.<P>I learned about her goo-goo names for him when I deciphered his voice mail code, quite by accident, it was, of all things, her first name. She left him a message, and it began with Sweetie pie, how are you Baby doll, I'll be back in town soon and I can't wait to see you Puddin', I love you Mike. Oh my Gah!!! That was one of those S hit the fan days.<P>So, for my opinion, I would say if you find it difficult to express affectionate names to your S, then do the next best thing and compliment their best features or traits. I think someone would enjoy knowing you are very attracted to some of their best features or body parts. Timing is good also.<P>Cathy <p>[This message has been edited by Catplay (edited October 25, 2000).]

BTW,(I know what that means), please tell me what STBX stands for, I have tried to figure that one out for along time now and I just can't get it!!!<P>Cathy

stbx = soon to be ex<P>... as in 19 days for me.<P>Sheryl

I think when the betraying spouses use those stupid names it's because they're afraid they're going to mix up the women.<P>Hey, if I'm babe, and so is she...no prob...they've got it covered. <P>I know if H is liking me at any moment by what he calls me. If it's my first name, he's feeling cold toward me, if it's my middle name...he's feeling good. So, at the beginning of every conversation I already know how it's going to go.<P>This crap is getting old real quick here.<P>allison

Sweet nothings from you, Catplay, should be to describe to him how he turns YOU on! If he thinks he is sexy to you again, who knows. <P>Just pretend you are a guy, moan and groan about how much he turns you on, pich his butt, be ridiculous, as they are when they are in heat!!! That should give him a surprise! <BR>

I loved our cute names for each other. I knew our marriage was in serious trouble when I started calling him by his first name instead of Darlin' or Sugarbutt.<P>Cute names are a way of showing how special they are to you. He hates that I don't call him cute names now.