After Plan Aing for about a year (there is/was no EA/PA)some things at home settled down, i.e husband is coming home early more often, he stays with baby and me more weekends, he is giving me some hugs and kisses BUT we cannot have time together (just the two of us) , H always find a good excuse to not do that!!!!, we are having sex just once every other month (if i insist too much) and i am begining to withdrawal again!!!<BR>I am feeling so sad, disapointed, failed and i am going from the conflict stage (where i think i am now because my taker is awake and is refusing to sleep again) to the withdrawal stage. Maybe the next stage is the Divorce Stage, where as i see i am going very fast!!<BR>I am asking myself if i really want to be married with this man and most important i am not finding good reasons to stay with him. He cannot/doesn't want to meet my needs and i am getting depressed, maybe he is not the right one to do that and now I am not being able to find his positive sides, all i can see are his negative sides and i am feeling unhappy, i am believing that he will never fall in love wtih me again so i am wasting my time. <BR>I NEED MY NEEDS MET BY SOMEONE, suposedely my husband but what if it doesn't happen during the next year!!<BR>For God's sake!! I am doing this (Plan A and meeting his EN) for a year and I AM NOT HAPPY!! instead i am very UNHAPPY!!!<P>Yes, there was a little progress but it is not enough for me to feel happy with him!!! I don't want this life the next 50 years!!<P>Sorry for the vent.<P>Should i throw the towel in? What i am doing wrong? Please help

Well, i don't know where to begin. I've been away from the mb site for a few months now so I don't know your history. I have a few questions. You say their has not been an affair, but has your husband always been this way, sex every so often? What happened in your marriage that you began a full Plan A? When you say he doesn't spend time alone with you, can you elaborate? Is he not living with you, sleeping in your bed everynight? sorry for the questions, but I need alittle more info.

Trapito,<P>I have been wondering about you and have meant to post and ask you-but now I know. I am so sorry you are feeling so down, I do know EXACTLY how you are feeling!<P>I'm sorry I don't have any advice for you but I just wanted to let you know you have been in my thoughts!<P>Just one question for you to think about: do you really feel like you could initiate divorce? Or you do think your H. could do it? I'm asking because I posted a few weeks ago saying I was throwing in the towel, mainly for the same reasons you listed above, and I got bashed by alot of the people on this forum-they said marriage vows are forever, they talked about children of divorce and the horrible lifelong effects it has on them, and they mentioned that I should never leave my H. knowing he is suffering from depression (in sickness and in health). I was very upset by those responses and have not been able to initiate even so much as a separation since receiving those responses. I pray daily that either my H. shows some promise of getting help for his depression and our marriage, or that he is the one that starts the divorce, I'm to the point that either way I would be happy (happier than living like this anyway)-But I do know there is no way I can actually initiate a divorce! That is why I am asking you that question.<P>Good luck Trapito, I look forward to hearing the responses to your post!!

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by trying2_4give:<BR><B>Well, i don't know where to begin. I've been away from the mb site for a few months now so I don't know your history. I have a few questions. <BR>You say their has not been an affair, but has your husband always been this way, sex every so often? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE></B><P>No when we just got married (even when we were dating) we used to have sex almost everyday<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><B> What happened in your marriage that you began a full Plan A?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE></B><P>One day when i was still pregnant (now my baby is 15 months old) he told me that he was not feeling the same for me as he used to, he was not in love with me anymore. Since then i tried to convince him that we could fix the situation if we want but i couldn't. About a year ago i found this site and began to apply these concepts, that made some difference because my husband is still living with me.<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><B> When you say he doesn't spend time alone with you, can you elaborate? Is he not living with you, sleeping in your bed everynight? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE></B><P>He is still living with me, but when i suggest to do something he is always agree until the day comes up then he always has something else to do (mostly a business meeting), that makes me feel like i am the last priority in his list and i told this to him. Of course he always deny that, but it doesn't make me feel better even worst it lows my self-esteem.<BR>He sleeps in the same bed with me, always have and that makes me feel even worst about the sex issue and the other things. I am begining to think that i am doing something wrong.<P>Thanks for your responses.<P>P:S: FYI i have never had a session with Dr. Harley b/c i still cannot afford it, but we had 5 individual session with a local therapist (i went until my son was born) but my husband decided to quit first b/c we cannot afford a 2 year therapy (his words) and because he sees no point going there since he is pretty sure that that In love feeling will never come back.